Wednesday, February 3, 2016

The World's Narrowest Football Field (FF)

© Erin Leary
FF-Friday Fictioneers


The four of us decided to stop in the little town by the river for lunch, and we asked the waiter if there were any tourist attractions to check out.

“We’re proud to be the home of the World's Narrowest Football Field,” he said, and he tossed us a football and we went to take a look.

What a bizarre field! It was laid out wholly on lily pads with bushes for sidelines and goalposts.  We struggled to stay in-bounds, got soaked, and had a fun time.

"Why are you guys so drenched?" asked the waiter as we returned.

“We’ve just come from the World’s Narrowest Football Field,” I answered.

"The World's Narrowest Football Field is by the high school.   You've just come from the World's Narrowest Poison Ivy Patch!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I only hope I didn't play too badly in the above game on the World’s Narrowest Football Field since it may be some time before I ever play again. I've heard of someone being a break-out star, but this is ridiculous.

Oh well, I might as well pass the ball to the other Friday Fictioneers, and you can check out how well they've played the game regarding the picture prompt above by clicking here.

"Touchdown!"  No, I'm not talking about the kind you score in a football game. It's me scratching the nether parts of my body which are just itching the hell out of me!

35 comments:

Adam Ickes said...

Ha! They're in for a rough time, aren't they? Well played... even if it was on the wrong field.

Perry Block said...

Thank you! Many people have complimented me on my arm. You know how it glows and keeps falling off and stuff.

i b arora said...

well, what a twist!

margirene said...

Two of the 'world's most ... ' in one town. No wonder they don't publicise the poison ivy patch. I love where you took this, Perry. Very funny.

Ruth said...

Oh, what a twist! Best to do all your homework before you explore! Love it.

Sandra Crook said...

Let's just hope they didn't play in their shorts. Or less. Good one.

brudberg said...

Ha... that's a hoot for the waiter at least.

"BTW, I have the best Poison Ivy ointment; Just $999"

ansumani said...

This is why men need to stop and ask for directions :) Funny story.

Perry Block said...

Our protagonist would like to twist it back I think.

Perry Block said...

I should have taken you along with me then.

Perry Block said...

Yeah, they should have gotten the "(name of little town) for Morons" first.

Rochelle Wisoff-Fields said...

Dear Perry,

Now I'm itching all over for some reason. Quite an outbreak of humor here. Oh that Cal-O-Mine.

Shalom,

Rochelle

Alicia said...

I agree with Rochelle and Sandra and Bjorn, well, everyone I suppose. Look before you l-e-a-p! Alicia

Russell said...

Very appropriate with the Super Bowl only days away. I hope the cheerleaders didn't practice out there too.

If so, you can call them the Itchy Scratchy Squad.

plaridel said...

this was a fun story only a guy named russell ..er, perry could squiggle. well done. :)

Perry Block said...

I never play in my shorts. Sorry to frustrate the women of the world.

Perry Block said...

No thanks. I think I look better this way.

Perry Block said...

Sweet Cal-O-Mine, for you I pine. I wish it had been pine other than ivy! Keep scratching, you'll be okay in a couple of weeks.

Perry Block said...

Nah, I'll just keep leaping. What else could happen?

Perry Block said...

Odd,the only cheerleaders out there had skin like an alligator's butt. Which was good for me cause I had no competition!

Perry Block said...

We both squiggle very well, thank you!

Perry Block said...

That's true. And stop twice because the first time I get it all screwed up anyway.

Loré Dombaj said...

God forbid guys asking for directions... :)

Anonymous said...

LOL. I bet the waiter had a good time. --gahlearner

Perry Block said...

We're too proud to even ask Siri for directions ...

Perry Block said...

But a lousy tip!

Isadora De La Vega said...

Give a guys a football and he can't help but start playing.
Yikes ... once they found out about the poison ivy. Funny humor in this story.
Isadora ��

Dawn said...

Oh crap! lol

Amy Reese said...

Well, oops! It's going to be a rough night for them. But now that you mention it, Perry, I can see that football field in this picture. It's no wonder they were confused. And Happy Superbowl to you!

indira mukhopadhyay said...

Better pay attention when you ask for something. Very nice, enjoyable fun story.

Perry Block said...

Thanks! Less funny for the guys than for everyone else I fear.

Perry Block said...

Crap, which I imagine there was, would have only made it worst.

Perry Block said...

Yeah, I saw a football field right away. Naturally Governor Christie couldn't play there.

Perry Block said...

Thank you. Glad you enjoyed.

P.S. Joshi said...

Hilarious, Perry. If you guys had stuck around you could have been an added attraction for the Chamber of Commerce to point out. You could always fill a tub with Calamine lotion and climb in. Well done--I don't mean playing ball in poison ivy. :D --- Suzanne