Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Car of the Year (FF)

FF- Flash Fiction
Copyright - Sandra Crook

Ladies and Gentlemen, the new Ford Fantastica for 2037! 

Yes, we are pleased to present the most advanced American automobile ever built! Includes automatic parking, automatic driving, built in automated cursing voice including over 100 choice expletives, and --- new this year --- robot entertainers who fit right into your steering wheel!

Yes, they sing, they dance, they tell jokes.  Let's listen:

I'm Spinner, I just got in driving from the east coast and boy are my wheels tired!  You know, marriage is very difficult.  Take my wife ... please!  
  
Unfortunately, folks, American cars are still are no match for foreign when it comes to funny material.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I think the problem for the Ford Fantastica could be fixed by hiring the Friday Fictioneers to write better material for Spinner.  One can imagine how Ford's profits would soar if Spinner began doing material by Russell Gayer!

Oh, no,  I mean sour.  Profits would sour.   My mistake.

Click right here to read the other takes on the picture prompt above and try putting some of their words in Spinner's mouth and see what happens. You may just wind up with Car of the Year for 2037!

28 comments:

greenwalledtower said...

I'd buy a 2016 Ford Russell if it were available. :)

Perry Block said...

Russell Ford sounds like someone I'd vote for for President.

Adam Ickes said...

This car might outrank cell phone in causing accidents. People would drive them right into walls to shut the robots up!

Perry Block said...

You're right, ladies and germs!

Sandra Crook said...

Very different take on the prompt. I never thought of a steering wheel. You always entertain!

ce ayr said...

No reflection on your story, Perry, but I imagine these wretched robots singing, endlessly, the wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round...

Russell said...

Nah, you want a Russell Edsel.

Russell said...

This may take road rage to a new level. Hopefully, the robot comes with a middle finger as standard equipment so it can flip off robots in the other vehicles. So, when's the Perry Prius model coming out?

Jan Brown said...

I agree with Russell. And I want a Perry Prius in goofy gold, please.

Rochelle Wisoff-Fields said...

Dear Perry,

I wonder if this car would be more annoying than riding with a road rager? Just a thought. Refreshing take on the prompt.

shalom,

Rochelle

ansumani said...

Interesting car. Maybe these robots can tell some robotic jokes. Fun story.

oldentimes said...

Delightful take on the plot. Robot dances car into ocean... and another story begins

brudberg said...

I think jokes in a car would be a traffic hazard... Only boring jokes approved by FRA should be allowed..

Perry Block said...

Thanks, Sandra! Hopefully I entertain because he schlock comic steering wheel sure doesn't.

Perry Block said...

If only they did, they'd be powerhouses of entertainment! I always kinda liked that song.

Perry Block said...

Well, the cursing voice with the 100 choice expletives is supposed to take care of that, but there is a middle finger option with Donald Trump wig on the next model up.Unfortunately it is not on the Perry Prius, which is way too classy a car.

Perry Block said...

It only comes in Goofy Colors.

Perry Block said...

More annoying. That's easy.

Perry Block said...

We've already heard some of their robotic jokes. Maybe they could better do a mime act.

Perry Block said...

Robot dances car into ocean and all stories end! That might be an even more delightful take on the plot. Thanks!

Perry Block said...

And these are boring jokes all right! Let's hope they're approved

Amy Reese said...

I'd say you're hired to write Spinner's jokes. Oh, wouldn't that be funny if those automatic cars had bad words built in. That would get you into a good mood right away! Ha ha. That would work for me.

Dawn said...

A car with the voice of Rodney Dangerfield?
It would get no respect!

Ga H said...

This is too funny. I want one of these cars.

margirene said...

Maybe in time they'd come up with alternative steering wheel robot packs - romantic robots for sweet-talking your beloved as you drive along;'Yes, dear' robots to take over conversations with your husband/wife - you could be onto something here. Fun story.

P.S. Joshi said...

Good story, Perry. Can that model be traded in for one with better jokes? Better watch the added foul language. It's liable to start playing if a cop pulls you over for a random license check, etc. A middle finger option wouldn't go over well either. Good luck with that one. Well done. :D --- Suzanne

Dale said...

Hah! The things you come up with...

Ravyne said...

*laughs* this was great! love the unique take on the prompt!