Monday, February 8, 2016

The Day the Man Stood Still

"Dr. Kropotkin, we've got to operate immediately on these twins! Time is of the essence! Where's Dr. Carson?"

“I’ve heard he's on his way, John … There he is, coming down the hallway right now!"

"Thank goodness!"

"Oh, no.  Not again."

"Not again what?"

“He's stopped walking. He's just standing in the hallway."


"Seems he's bad at walking down hallways. Superb at neurosurgery, bad at walking down hallways."

"What can we do, Dr. Kropotkin?  Everyone's waiting!”

"We've got to try to entice him out of the hallway.  Either that or he'll be standing there until the cows come home.  Actually, until the cows come home, take their shoes off, have dinner, and bang their wives!"

"Dr. Kropotkin, I’ve got an idea:

 Hey, Dr. Carson!  We've got hot fudge sundaes here in the Operating Room! With wet walnuts, maraschino cherries, and whipped cream too!"

"Not working, John.

“Hey, how about this:

Dr. Carson, look at Nurse Johnson over there! You know, the one with the great big bazooms? She'll be working next to you all through the eight hour surgery! Wanna come in now?”

“I could have told you that wouldn’t work, John.”


“Dr. Carson is a leg man.”

“Oh. Hey, I know:

“It's Jesus, Dr. Carson! He’s ready to sit for the portrait with you.”

“Uh, John?” 

“Yes, Dr. Kropotkin?”

“Jesus and Dr. Carson already had their portrait painted together. They went out to dinner afterwards.”

"Then what the hell do we do, Dr. Kropotkin?!!"

”There's one more thing to try, John:

"Dr. Ben Carson!  This is David Muir of ABC News. You are due on the stage immediately to begin the debates for the Republican Presidential nomination.”

“OMG!  Now he’s going right into the OR. Why did that work?”

“For some reason the guy thinks he wants to be president.”

“Will calling him to a Presidential debate always get him going down the hall?”

“I don't see why not.”



Russell said...

Poor Ben. He started out like he was going to be the next Black Bart of Blazing Saddles fame, then fell from grace faster than a skydiver hugging an anvil.

Connie and I watched part of the debate the other night. The producers appeared to run all the clowns on stage first. They were passing Ben in the hall like he was standing still (which he was). I really enjoyed Gov. Christie hammering Marco Robotico over his Chatty Cathy speech--just pull his string and he'll say the same thing six times in a row. And this from a crowd that claims Obama is incompetent.

I'm going to pass on the video of cows banging their wives (butch lesbian bovines?).

Perry Block said...

One good thing for Dr. Carson: after his long career the campaign is affording him the opportunity to get some much needed sleep. Unless the copulating cows keep him up.