"What do you see ahead, Mr. Barkley?" Cap'n Timmy hollered to his faithful lookout in the ship's crow's nest.
"There's a ship approaching, Cap'n Timmy!" responded Barkley.
"Good! Then raise the Jolly Roger, it's full scale assault for booty!"
"Ha, ha, Cap'n Timmy," laughed Barkley. "This is so fun!"
"Why are you laughing, Mr. Barkley?" asked Cap'n Timmy.
"Because we're obviously in one of those adorable children's books where a supposed great adventure turns out to be the whimsical fantasy of a young boy and his dog."
Cap'n Timmy pulled out his pistol and shot Barkley, who fell from the crow's nest into the frigid sea below.
"Poor bastard!" sneered Cap'n Timmy. "Even he got misled by the stupid ass names Perry Block has given us."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Maybe it was partially the misleading names I gave the characters, but the picture prompt above upon which this week's Friday Fictioneers story is based sure didn't help clarify things either. No, Cap'n Timmy is not 4 years old and Mr. Barkley not 4 legged! And their story comes not from the dreams of children, but from the annals of bloodthirsty plunder on the Spanish Main.
Speaking of annals, you can dig deep into the annals of the other Friday Fictioneers by clicking right here on the word "annals." I assure you "annals" is not a dirty word, although after so overusing it in this paragraph I'm not sure I can assure myself the same thing.
Full speed ahead, everyone, and on into 2014. And for god's sakes, stay out of the crow's nest!
36 comments:
Very funny--I loved the last paragraph! Well done :-)
Well that was fabulous because I didn't see it coming and was so glad when it did.
I like it! That Perry Block is such a card. Imagine, putting your own name in your story.
That's a good line, and I'm stealing it.
Dear Perry,
I could see this as story done as a sketch on Carol Burnett with Tim Conway as the dog and Harvey Korman as Cap'n Timmy. Funny,
Shalom,
Rochelle
Perry, I wooden't have missed this for the world...or a pirate's booty (if it was a good-looking one...maybe.) I can see your year's off to a great start, so may it continue that way.
janet
Timmy grows up to be quite a cad!
I bet Terry Gilliam will be looking closely at this script. Good one.
Haha that's hilarious, Perry. I literally laughed out loud. Keep this up and I may just send you some of those sugar pills I call knock off Viagra at no charge.
Warmest regards for a safe and happy 2014,
Phillip J. VanderMcDoogalkinz
Oh I was all set to be enamoured with the cuteness of your story and names, Perry, but this is even better. Great turn of events, although poor Barkley. That'll teach him for breaking the fourth wall!
So glad it wasn't cute to the end! By the way - "misled" is how it's spelt :)
Arrg, out for booty are we? By the way, I know you obsessed over the names Timmy and Barkley for hours, when you could have just went with your first choices, Scarlett and Perry.
Arrrrgh Pirates can have funny names... they just become meaner with a funny name...
The shooting made me laugh out loud -- I certainly did not see that coming! Poor Mr. Barkley, despite being high up in the crow's nest, didn't see it either. A damn funny story for the annals of pirate tales!
Don't compliment me. It was all Cap'n Timmy's doing.
I was so glad that you were so glad when it did too.
Ted, I was so glad that you were so glad that dctdesigns was so glad when it did too. I have no idea whether I've gotten that right.
Imagine putting your own name in the story? Who else do I have to use, Stephen King?
And I've always wanted to be played by Vicki Lawrence.
Thank you, Janet. May all your pirate's booties be good-looking!
I understand he's known as Lackbeard the Pirate!
Actually I bet Terry Gilliam will be looking more closely at this one:
http://www.perryblock.com/2013/12/a-boomer-deals-with-spam.html
Thank you, Phillip. If I could keep it up, I wouldn't need those sugar pills youI call knock off Viagra at no charge.
Actually he only peed on the fourth wall. I broke it!
Just like me, it wasn't cute to the end. (Fixed misspelling. Thnx.)
Yes, but it would have been tough to take when Scarlett shot Perry even before the start of the story.
True. I understand the only pirate more brutal and bloodthirsty than Cap'n Timmy is Cap'n Skippy.
Yes, it comes from deep within the annals. The soft, warm, tingling .... wait a minute, annals is not a dirty word!
i see cap'n timmy is a very, very bad man. :(
This is certainly an original thought. Kind of Haha I got you guys. Thumps up.
He spoiled the story!!!
Scott
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2014/01/02/friday-fictioneers-blasted-from-the-past-carolyns-adventures-r-1314/
Someone messed with your head, Mr BLACKBEARD Perry Block!
I'm not in the business of knowing whether or not you can keep it up. I'm in the business of assuming you can't and offering pills that don't work at prices you can't possibly afford.
Clever and original, Perry. That's one of the reasons I always skip ahead to read yours... wherever you land in the queue. ;-) Dawn
lol perry this made me laugh out loud. great pirate yarn with a perry block twist. happy 2014 :-)
I like any stories with the word booty in it. Only when it, of course, relates to pirates!! Ha ha. Very original take, Perry. And I like your names. Happy 2014!
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