Thursday, January 2, 2014

The Crow's Nest


"What do you see ahead, Mr. Barkley?" Cap'n Timmy hollered to his faithful lookout in the ship's crow's nest.

"There's a ship approaching, Cap'n Timmy!" responded Barkley. 

"Good! Then raise the Jolly Roger, it's full scale assault for booty!"

"Ha, ha, Cap'n Timmy," laughed Barkley. "This is so fun!"

"Why are you laughing, Mr. Barkley?" asked Cap'n Timmy.

"Because we're obviously in one of those adorable children's books where a supposed great adventure turns out to be the whimsical fantasy of a young boy and his dog."

Cap'n Timmy pulled out his pistol and shot Barkley, who fell from the crow's nest into the frigid sea below.

"Poor bastard!" sneered Cap'n Timmy. "Even he got misled by the stupid ass names Perry Block has given us."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maybe it was partially the misleading names I gave the characters, but the picture prompt above upon which this week's Friday Fictioneers story is based sure didn't help clarify things either. No, Cap'n Timmy is not 4 years old and Mr. Barkley not 4 legged! And their story comes not from the dreams of children, but from the annals of bloodthirsty plunder on the Spanish Main.

Speaking of annals,  you can dig deep into the annals of the other Friday Fictioneers by clicking right here on the word "annals."  I assure you "annals" is not a dirty word, although after so overusing it in this paragraph I'm not sure I can assure myself the same thing.

Full speed ahead, everyone, and on into 2014.  And for god's sakes, stay out of the crow's nest!

36 comments:

Jan Brown said...

Very funny--I loved the last paragraph! Well done :-)

dctdesigns.com said...

Well that was fabulous because I didn't see it coming and was so glad when it did.

tedstrutz said...

I like it! That Perry Block is such a card. Imagine, putting your own name in your story.

tedstrutz said...

That's a good line, and I'm stealing it.

Rochelle Wisoff-Fields said...

Dear Perry,

I could see this as story done as a sketch on Carol Burnett with Tim Conway as the dog and Harvey Korman as Cap'n Timmy. Funny,

Shalom,

Rochelle

janet said...

Perry, I wooden't have missed this for the world...or a pirate's booty (if it was a good-looking one...maybe.) I can see your year's off to a great start, so may it continue that way.

janet

lingeringvisions said...

Timmy grows up to be quite a cad!

mike olley said...

I bet Terry Gilliam will be looking closely at this script. Good one.

adamickes said...

Haha that's hilarious, Perry. I literally laughed out loud. Keep this up and I may just send you some of those sugar pills I call knock off Viagra at no charge.

Warmest regards for a safe and happy 2014,
Phillip J. VanderMcDoogalkinz

elmowrites said...

Oh I was all set to be enamoured with the cuteness of your story and names, Perry, but this is even better. Great turn of events, although poor Barkley. That'll teach him for breaking the fourth wall!

lizy-expat-writer said...

So glad it wasn't cute to the end! By the way - "misled" is how it's spelt :)

Russell said...

Arrg, out for booty are we? By the way, I know you obsessed over the names Timmy and Barkley for hours, when you could have just went with your first choices, Scarlett and Perry.

Björn said...

Arrrrgh Pirates can have funny names... they just become meaner with a funny name...

zookyworld said...

The shooting made me laugh out loud -- I certainly did not see that coming! Poor Mr. Barkley, despite being high up in the crow's nest, didn't see it either. A damn funny story for the annals of pirate tales!

Perry Block said...

Don't compliment me. It was all Cap'n Timmy's doing.

Perry Block said...

I was so glad that you were so glad when it did too.

Perry Block said...

Ted, I was so glad that you were so glad that dctdesigns was so glad when it did too. I have no idea whether I've gotten that right.

Perry Block said...

Imagine putting your own name in the story? Who else do I have to use, Stephen King?

Perry Block said...

And I've always wanted to be played by Vicki Lawrence.

Perry Block said...

Thank you, Janet. May all your pirate's booties be good-looking!

Perry Block said...

I understand he's known as Lackbeard the Pirate!

Perry Block said...

Actually I bet Terry Gilliam will be looking more closely at this one:
http://www.perryblock.com/2013/12/a-boomer-deals-with-spam.html

Perry Block said...

Thank you, Phillip. If I could keep it up, I wouldn't need those sugar pills youI call knock off Viagra at no charge.

Perry Block said...

Actually he only peed on the fourth wall. I broke it!

Perry Block said...

Just like me, it wasn't cute to the end. (Fixed misspelling. Thnx.)

Perry Block said...

Yes, but it would have been tough to take when Scarlett shot Perry even before the start of the story.

Perry Block said...

True. I understand the only pirate more brutal and bloodthirsty than Cap'n Timmy is Cap'n Skippy.

Perry Block said...

Yes, it comes from deep within the annals. The soft, warm, tingling .... wait a minute, annals is not a dirty word!

plaridel said...

i see cap'n timmy is a very, very bad man. :(

Silently Heard said...

This is certainly an original thought. Kind of Haha I got you guys. Thumps up.

kindredspirit23 said...

He spoiled the story!!!
Scott
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2014/01/02/friday-fictioneers-blasted-from-the-past-carolyns-adventures-r-1314/

Patrick Prinsloo said...

Someone messed with your head, Mr BLACKBEARD Perry Block!

adamickes said...

I'm not in the business of knowing whether or not you can keep it up. I'm in the business of assuming you can't and offering pills that don't work at prices you can't possibly afford.

Dawn said...

Clever and original, Perry. That's one of the reasons I always skip ahead to read yours... wherever you land in the queue. ;-) Dawn

theeclecticeccentricshopaholic said...

lol perry this made me laugh out loud. great pirate yarn with a perry block twist. happy 2014 :-)

thebumblefiles said...

I like any stories with the word booty in it. Only when it, of course, relates to pirates!! Ha ha. Very original take, Perry. And I like your names. Happy 2014!