Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Quiet on the Set




"Quiet on the set," hollered director Ed Woodley. "And somebody get that kid away from the phony hive!"

"Aw, Ed," said the prop girl/makeup person/producer Mary Carbone, "his dad's a friend of a friend and he loves movies." 

"Mary, we got eight days to shoot Revenge of the Stinking Stingers, a boozehound of a star, and a fake giant bee with a zipper you can see!"

"But, Ed, the script's almost finished and ..."

"Mary, science fiction movies don't get no respect and never will!  Now get him out of here!"

"You're right, Ed.  It's 1954 and we all gotta eat."

"Good.  Now cue the giant cardboard stinger!"

"Sorry, Mr. Spielberg, you have to leave.  Maybe one day you can get the boy in somewhere to see 'em make a real movie."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks for a having a close encounter with my entry this week for the fabulous Friday Fictioneers, which returns us to the days when science fiction movies truly didn't get no respect. Wish I could build a machine to teleport the excess 31 words out of my story based on the prompt above, but frankly I didn't have no budget for it!

Strange how a funny thing happened to the movies when kids like little Steven Spielberg grew up and didn't put away childish things. We got big budget major star-laden sci-fi, horror, fantasy, and super hero flicks virtually to excess, as well as the many supernaturally talented contributions of the other fantastic Friday Fictioneers, which you all can beam into by clicking here.

I'll see you next week, I'm headed out now to see Revenge of the Stinking Stingers.  Love that giant stinger!

53 comments:

Sandra Crook said...

Well everyone has to start somewhere, and look where he finished up. Nice one.

Perry Block said...

And I hear his next film is "Revenge of the Stinking Stingers II." Thanks, Sandra!

janet said...

Bee-utifully done, Perry. Good for Steven for overcoming this difficult start and bee-coming a star in his own right (or perhaps his own left.)

janet

lindavernon said...

Haha! Nicely imagined. Somewhere Ed Wood is smiling down on this story, Perry!

paulmclem said...

Lol.

Leslie said...

sounds pretty realistic
cardboard props moved by a stage-hand
funny one Perry

bridgesareforburning said...

Hi Perry,
Always look forward to reading your story, but reading those extra 31 words was exhausting. Have you been reading War and Peace? Story was a blast from the past. Ron

Russell said...

Good thing they didn't have smell-o-vision on blogs yet. I don't think we could stand the smell on that stickin' stinger.

elmowrites said...

Nice little blast from the past, Perry. Something tells me those extra 31 words were more a time issue than a budget one, but then this wouldn't be the first sci-fi movie to overrun either!

lingeringvisions said...

Back when sci fi movies were sci fi movies!

Perry Block said...

One more bee joke and I think I'll get hives! On both my right and my left. Thanks, Janet.

Perry Block said...

Yep and dressed like a woman too! Thank you, Linda.

Perry Block said...

LOL, you too!

Perry Block said...

Those two big fat guys in the bee outfit both got Oscar nominations too.

Perry Block said...

Actually I think it might have been 32. Glad you're still standing, Ron!

Perry Block said...

OMG, Russell, it's a classic! Especially when special guest star Godzilla eats the monster bee and blows honey instead of fire.

Perry Block said...

I understand the movie "Dune" still has 30 minutes to go from its original showing.

Perry Block said...

There's no question there were some great ones from that era like "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" and "The Incredible Shrinking Man" and some that are so bad they're good. But no kid back then would have dreamed we've have big budget scifi, monster, and superhero movies coming out almost every week in this day and age.

Which almost makes you yearn for the days when they were few and cheap and special.

swirlingturnip said...

This truly could have happened! I love the old bug and monster movies and I love the idea that a young Steven was watching and waiting!

Perry Block said...

Me too! Thanks.

mezzojan said...

Ah, Ed Wood(ley) and little Stevie Spielberg both in the same space and time. Also think your portrayal of Wood's resources and unintentionally campy filmmaking technique is probably pretty accurate!

Perry Block said...

Thanks, except I didn't dress him in women's clothes. Actually Ed Woodley here represents every schlock film maker here of the period in which movie scifi didn't get no respect.

kindredspirit23 said...

Hmm, I want to see it anyway!
Scott
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/07/31/ff-friday-fictioneers-as-bees-and-cs-rated-pg-genre-humorous/

Perry Block said...

You will be disappointed. Which means you won't!

theeclecticeccentricshopaholic said...

lol. loved the surprise ending. well, im glad times are different now, though it's been a while since i've actually seen a decent scifi or fantasy film. another great story from you. :)

theeclecticeccentricshopaholic said...

things* are different now. lol :)

Dobson said...

The movies he made have certainly widened the scope of respect for science fiction movies, that is for sure.

rckjones said...

HA!!! Great Ed Wood send-up. I think setting this photo on a movie set is quite creative.

vb holmes said...

Good thing little Stevie was thrown off the set before he learned filmmaking at the feet of a Golden Turkey Award winner. Just think, the giant shark and dinosaurs could have been sporting zippers and camoflauged legs (and Pinky and the Brain would never have tried to take over the world). A valuable historical vignette.

Perry Block said...

Not sure if you mean Ed Wood or Steven Spielberg, but thanks!

Perry Block said...

Things sure are different now, except for me there's so much scifi, horror, supernatural stuff, etc. that it no longer seems special unless the movie is really special. And a lot of them aren't.

Perry Block said...

Yeah, I have my moments, brief though they may be. Thanks!

Perry Block said...

Well, of course, Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain would have had no problem taking over a world in which giant dinosaurs were magnified lizards with plates stuck on their backs and the best they could do would be to cast a lawyer as the shark. Thanks!

misskzebra said...

Revenge of the stinking stingers would have been rated 18 when it came out, and down rated to a PG now.

Perry Block said...

"Revenge of the Stinking Stingers" is a true classic and still rated 18, for 18 IQ point.

JE Lillie said...

A brush with greatness.

troy P. said...

Bravo Perry - a wonderful take on the prompt this week sir! Which, you know, doesn't mean that your other takes aren't marvelous as well, but, I'm only trying to say that... oh, stuff it - good job Perry!!!

helenahannbasquiat said...

The only thing missing is an incoherent Bela Lugosi, darling! Very nice.

Rochelle Wisoff-Fields said...

Dear Perry,

Perhaps if they'd send Ed Woodley away and let the kid stay Stinking Stingers might've been a hit. Alas, no E.T. here. A good flash fiction though. Too entertaining for me to care about your (gasp!) 31 words over.

Shalom,

Rochelle

John Nixon The Supercargo said...

I chuckled. :)

pviljoen said...

I loved this!

Douglas MacIlroy said...

Dear Perry,

I loved your story. An homage to Ed Wood and Spielberg in 100 words. Very well done.

Aloha,

Doug

Perry Block said...

I'm hoping Ed Woodley remembered to brush.

Perry Block said...

Thank you so much, Troy. I'll stuff it any time for comments like that!

Perry Block said...

"The ... children of the ... day, I mean night ... what ... what music they like ... I mean .... what music they listen to ... no, I mean ... music they make! Shit, I'm so f*cked up!"

How's that?

Perry Block said...

Thanks, I'll make up those words in another outing. Preferably one directed by Ed Woodley!

Perry Block said...

You'll laugh out loud when you see the movie, especially that ten foot cardboard stinger!

Perry Block said...

Again, you haven't loved til you see "Revenge of the Stinking Stingers!"

Perry Block said...

Yeah, I had Stanley Kubrick and Roger Corman in there too but it went over by 37 words so I had to cut them. Thank you, Doug!

annisik51 said...

Thanks for the smile. I like the twist. But how dare you? I love those 50s Scifi B-movies. Especially the long moralising speeches at the end. :)

pattisjarrett said...

It's eat or be eaten. Spielberg was forced to make his own stingin' movie. Thank you for bringing the extra words to my attetion, the alarm failed to go off at 100. Good read.

Perry Block said...

I love them too.

And some day humankind may put away his petty squabbles and insane quests in the name of hubris and perhaps then we will learn the true message of the orbs and discover the potential of all the creatures of the cosmos.

Hot damn, that was good!

Perry Block said...

You better fix that alarm. We have the technology now we didn't have in the fifties!