Wednesday, June 26, 2013

The Wheels on the Bus Go "Carp, Carp, Carp"



Who could  have ever expected what happened when the town of Paddington-on-Rye decided to commission a new crosstown bus?

On a whim, somebody had decided to paint the new bus with bright colors and add a face with eyes, nose, and mouth to the driver's end.  And when the bus came alive and began talking, the townsfolk knew they had a tourist boon like no other!

True enough, people came from hither and yon to see, hear, and ride the bus, and the town's coffers swiftly filled.  There was but one problem.

The bus had a personality like yesterday's underwear. 

"Driver, slow down, you're gonna kill us!"

"It's too cold, I don't want anyone climbing on me today!"

"Well, that's a goofy-looking crop of tourists, especially the buck-toothed lady in the print dress!"

It was determined it would take thousands of  dollars of therapy to cure the problem.

Either that or paint a smile on the front end.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You're probably carping about it already, but I drove this story into the station at 158 words, well over the prescribed maximum of  100.  But you don't meet a talking bus every day, especially one as downbeat and jaded as this --- and that's a bus after my own heart!

I'm sure you'll be talking about the various other takes on today's picture prompt by the many other Friday Fictioneers if you park yourself right here at the official Paddington-on-Rye Talking Bus Stop.  No charge for unlimited parking.

The Wheels on the Bus Go "Outta Here!"

56 comments:

helenahannbasquiat said...

I had really expected a lot of repetition this week, and have thus far been pleasantly surprised. A talking bus is certainly worth an extra 58 words, darling.

Perry Block said...

Frankly, I was even willing to go another 7 or 8 words. Any more than that - pushing it! Thanks, Helena.

thewritersvillage said...

Very cute.

Bus therapy... that must be for vehicles that get "bus"ted wearing personalities like yesterday's underwear. Very kinky.

Randy

Perry Block said...

"Bus-ted!" - I like that much. Now let's see if the bus truly wants to change more than just its tires. Thanks, Randy!

Leslie said...

The bus with mood swings
maybe she needs a bus(t) job might help her self image

Perry Block said...

If the bus is a "she" and gets a bust job, well, tourism there will really go through the roof. (Not sure, that might have sounded dirty.) Thanks, Leslie!

worksbyclaire said...

Everyone's writing happy stories this week! Nice!

Renee Heath said...

We all have such different interpretations of this photo. I'm glad our stories run the gamut. I liked yours. Very funny. Of course!

lindavernon said...

I will be think about the personality of yesterday's underwear all day today and maybe even into tomorrow! How I loved your story Perry! :D

janet said...

This has to be the most descriptive phrase I've read all day: "
The bus had a personality like yesterday's underwear." :-)

janet

Penny Howe said...

I want one of those buses! Sounds like he's got a great personality! :)

Perry Block said...

Oh, no! I meant this to be depressing as hell!

Perry Block said...

Thanks, Renee. Don't think I care to run the gamet, I'll take the crabby bus instead.

Perry Block said...

I spend a fair amount of time thinking about yesterday's underwear too, but it's never about the underwear from yesterday that I'm wearing. Thanks, Linda!

Perry Block said...

And certainly the most like Emily Dickinson too ...

Perry Block said...

Well, it depends how you feel about yesterday's underwear, I guess. Thanks, Penny!

Shainbird said...

I love the last line! Start painting that smile before the ranting bus starts driving off the deep end! Unusual take!

Sandra Crook said...

Must be related to Thomas The Tank engine. Lovely, I like the idea of it being too cold to work. :)

nightlake said...

The bus needs to have his say on everything. He seems to be a complaining type. And therapy for the bus! Intelligent. Enjoyed this story the most so far:)

theeclecticeccentricshopaholic said...

haha while i'm thrilled by the idea of seeing a talking bus, i'm not exactly sure if i wanna ride him. ^^ another great story. personality like yesterday's underwear, that's a pretty awesome description lol

Perry Block said...

Would that we could paint that smile on each one of us as well ...

Perry Block said...

Thomas, umm, think you could get me Ringo Starr's autograph? What? It's too cold?!!

Perry Block said...

Thank you! Wait til you read the sequel "The Carping Bus Moves Next Door to You."

Perry Block said...

Thanks, although I've been told my personality rivals last week's underwear ...

Linda Palund said...

I loved this story except for one part. I just don't think the bus sounded nasty enough. I think you should go back and really make it nasty and miserable, kind of like the robot in Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy...?

Perry Block said...

That's right, the bus isn't as miserable and depressed as the robot. I am, however, and I am a billion times more intelligent than you, and that's on a bad day before coffee!

shreyank2012 said...

I have seen a lot of lorries pass by on a daily basis.. but never imagined them to have a face and a mouth.. now that you written it.. it certainly does brings them alive...

John Nixon The Supercargo said...

The buses on Malta all have great personalities. If they ever get tired of it, the good folk of Paddington-on-Rye could do worse than semi-retire their bus to Malta - but it would have to be painted yellow and I can only guess how it might react to that!

Russell said...

I can't figure if I'm from Hither or Yon, but I'd like to ride that bus. After far as yesterday's underwear goes, yellow stripe in front and brown in back, right?

kindredspirit23 said...

Ah, what's a few words between friends?
Interesting bus, bad personality or just truthful?
Scott
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/06/26/friday-fictioneers-6282013-transition-genre-fiction-rated-pg13/

greenwalledtower said...

This must be what you get when Nightrider and Marvin the neurotic robot have a baby. :)

zookyworld said...

Awesome story! This reminds me of Harry Potter and Roald Dahl ... your descriptions are fun and colorful, and I love the line about the bus's personality like "yesterday's underwear!"

walkertoennien said...

Laughing and loving it! I've always thought that the city bus has a mind of its own. :) giggles.

Perry Block said...

I do know the word "lorre" having been to England, but I imagine to some Americans it more connotes a well-remembered character actor named Peter. Well, glad I made your lorres come alive!

Perry Block said...

Hopefully the therapy will be completed by then ...

Perry Block said...

More stripes than a highly decorated general, I'm afraid.

Perry Block said...

Both.

Perry Block said...

Throw in Rosemary too.

Rochelle Wisoff-Fields said...

Dear Perry,

With the title I expected a bus full of Gefilte fish on the way to Lox-emborg. Thanks for the ride.

Shalom,

Rochelle

Perry Block said...

Thanks, I am frequently compared to Potter and Dahl --- Old Man Potter in "It's a Wonderful Life" and actress Arlene Dahl, as in her age, which is last month's underwear.

Perry Block said...

In this case it has a mind of my own! Thanks.

Perry Block said...

Ha! Well, can't say the bus has any particular ethnicity, but his his gears are "Park, Reverse, Drive, and Kvetch."

aslongasimsinging said...

I don't know why, but this one had very much of a "Kool Aid Acid Test" aura about it for me - loved it!

Perry Block said...

Boy, it's a long time since I've read that one, but just call me "Merry Prankster!"

gabriellaswritingcorner said...

The idea of a talking bus made me smile!

Perry Block said...

That's odd - it only makes the bus scowl!

Tony Roberts said...

Very funny. A talking bus. Whoda thunk it? You, it seems.

Björn said...

Talking bus - that was original. Maybe he needed a mate and not therapy

Kalpana Misra said...

That's a merry post. Enjoyed reading it :)

Perry Block said...

Thank you. Yes, I checked it out and I'm the only whoda in history whoever thunked it!

Perry Block said...

Me first.

Perry Block said...

Darn it. I was hoping to make everyone depressed!

anelephantcant.me said...

Clever and amusing - excellent!

Perry Block said...

Thank you. Couldn't work in an elephant though!

elmowrites said...

Nice idea, shame you couldn't work it into 100 words, but then I'm a stickler (carper, if you prefer) on that front and most aren't. I liked the attitude of the bus , but got a little muddled about which end was painted with the face?

Perry Block said...

Face is always on the front end, although the bus' current personality more closely resembles the other one. Please feel free to carp!