I Love Me Some Cats

I love me some cats. I love big cats, little cats, black cats, white cats, spotted cats, mottled cats,  guys named Katz, and the cat formerly known as Cat Stevens.  Get it, fellow users of the Internet?  

I love the little furry fuckers!  I love cats just like all of you out there love cats.  And I love cats just like all of you out there to whom I'm willing to pander shamelessly for blog readers love cats! 

My very own precious darling is named Tinkerbell, and  here he is!  Say hello, Mr. Tink!

What are you up to, you wacky crazy cat?  Ha-ha-ha!

Oh, no!  Who can get any work done when Mr. Tink is grabbing some "zzzzs"---  as well as "bbbbs" and "hhhhs" and "control-alt-deletes!" and so on and so forth on the old QWERTY keyboard?  Ha-ha-ha!  

Oh!  You're wondering why Tinkerbell looks a bit different in every picture?  That's because he's ... umm .... a Master of Disguise!   Yep, that' s it.  That works. That's why.  No, I didn't Google random cat pictures, how could you?

Hey, Tink, you little minx!  How'd you do that?   

The Rockettes sure have nothin' on you, Mister Tinker! Ha-ha-ha!

Here's Tinkerbell doing his uncanny impression of actor Wilford Brimley. Tink's been getting free diabetes meds for years and he's not even a diabetic!  Ha-ha-ha!

(Note: The one on the left is Tinkerbell; for comparison purposes, actor Wilford Brimley is on the right.)

Hey, Tinkerbell, leave our President alone! 

Not that the Chief Executive of the USA minds a bit with a funny feline like you in his famous face! Ha-ha-ha!  That is indeed Mr. Obama on the right and Tinkerbell on the left, smartly sporting the tie I gave him for his Bar Mitzvah.  Ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaaaaa!!!!!!

Y''know,  Internet friends,  in addition to cats,  I also love me:  

• dip recipes,
• striking beach views, 
• you can do it!" motivationals,
• "Here's the twins immersed in chocolate syrup - how cute!,"
•  sharing the wit and wisdom of George Takei, 
• sarcastic little old lady cartoons, 
• "Look at my messy office!," 
• "Marriage equality rocks!," 
• Aunt Clara and Uncle Theodore married 57 years, aren't they adorable?! (Not that I don't have nightmares about being half that old!)
• "Love that Downton Abbey: Season 2!," 
• "The marriage equality symbol used as my avatar rocks!"
• your new profile picture (no, it's not goofy a bit!), 
• and cats, cats, and more cats! 

Convinced I love cats, folks?  Ready to follow my blog now?

Wait! What are you up to now, Mr. Tinkerbell?  No, no, not Kim Jong Un!!!  

No, no, Tinkerbell, stop, he's nutso!!! ... What are you doing, you out of control little ball of fluff??!!!

Darn it!  Just when I almost had you conned into believing I really do love me some cats.  Oh,well.

I love me some paramecium ...

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What's in a Word?

Now that's a Senior!

What’s in a Word?

If words have power --- and I believe they do --- I’m about to create a wholly new definition for a word whose multiple meanings are about to be reduced by one!

That word is "SENIOR."

I’ll explain.

Baby Boomers are the first generation of Americans to possess their own unique and sociologically bestowed name.

We were Baby Boomers when we were watching Captain Kangaroo and Romper Room, Baby Boomers when protesting the Vietnam War and the perceived high price of pot, Baby Boomers as we maneuvered our way through mortgages, minivans, and Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, and Baby Boomers today when we flick on the TV and just about the only person who looks like us is Wilford Brimley.

Baby Boomer ---That is our name. We need no other.

Boomer does not carry implicit within it the concept of age, complacency, decline and decrepitude.

Call someone a Senior and he or she craves warm milk and a nap and thinks someone like Carson Daly is hip. 

Call someone a Boomer and he’s scaling the high Himalayas, the heights of passion, and anything and everything except scaling back!

Before we proceed, there’s a detail or two to be hammered out.

Many restaurants feature an economically priced but ill-termed meal known as a Senior Special.  How much more uplifting to be greeted with  "Good Evening, my name is Claude, these are tonight's Boomer Specials ....  and, never fear, Greatest Generation, got your back as well!"

As for Senior Living Communities, well, why choose to reside somewhere where the youngest person you know thinks the cute perky one is Regis?  Yet if live there you must, keep this in mind: when the men in your water aerobics class begin to have bigger breasts than the women, switch to the 8:35 A.M. class, re-name it Boomer Aerobics, and for god’s sake, exercise those pecs!

Here’s the definition promised.

From now on, the word "SENIOR" shall be defined only as:

a) A father of a male child, Protestant and possessed of a trust fund, bearing the same first name as the male child,  provided that name is John, James, Chauncey, or Muffin.   

b) Someone who will graduate from a high school or other institution of higher learning at the conclusion of the current academic year provided he or she does not have to take math.

Got that?    I’m calling the OED people tomorrow.

Think this much ado about rien de tout?  Think the words we choose to call one another don’t matter? 

Try telling that to the nearest African American, Italian, Hispanic, Jew, or just about anybody else on the planet!

BTW, I plan to shortly also redefine the words elderly and aged. Preliminary projections indicate that both will be reconfigured to refer only to former President of the United States Jimmy Carter.

With me, Boomers?

Or are ya cravin’ that nap?
 
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More to Come!