She's Leaving Home, Bye-Bye

 

I'm so miserable.

Julie, my favorite barista, is about to leave my favorite coffee shop. But I'm proud to say I'm taking it all in stride.

"Julie," I said, "is there any chance you won't leave? Let me rephrase that: Please, Please, Please Don't Leave Me, Julie!"

"Now, Perry, we've been through all this countless times."

"Yes, but you know I don't handle change well."

"Yes, l know.  You're still hoping Freaks and Geeks will come back on the air."

"But what you don't know is I sent an email to Seth Rogan begging him not to age!"

"I know you're going to be just fine, Perry."

"But why must you leave?"

"You know why! Because I passed the bar exam and I start my new job next week."

"Will they let you still make my cappuccino at the new law firm?"

"'Fraid not. But there's a new barista here who I know you're going to like."

"Who?"

"Chaz."    

"OMG! A man! I don't know about a male barista!"

"Been having them for years, Perry."

"What do you know about this Chaz?  He's not a Republican, is he?"

"I don't think so, Perry."

"How is he on Trump-hating on a scale of 1 to 10?"

"I don't officially keep that metric, Perry."

"He's not uber-tattooed, is he, Julie?"

"I thought you were no longer freaked out by tattoos."

"I'm not, but I still prefer my Jelly Roll to be the pound cake kind with jam in the middle."

"Perry, Chaz will take very good care of you."

"I have one more question, Julie."

"Yes?"

"Is Chaz Beatles or Stones?"

"I don't keep that metric either!  But, Perry, I'm only going to be working two blocks from here.  We can still have coffee together sometimes."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Well, okay, then ...  But can you do anything about Freaks and Geeks?"

"I thought you were the one who controls the media!"

"I used to be.  But much as I don't like change, just like with you ..."

"Yes?" 

 "It was time to move on."

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