The Association of Corrupt, Depraved,
and Biased Judges
Good Afternoon, Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to the Fifth Annual Convention of The Association of Corrupt, Depraved, and Biased Judges.
I'm Perry Jury, President of the Association, and I'm happy that you were all able to take time off to attend our convention from your busy schedules of cooking evidence, issuing bogus rulings, and buying off witnesses and jurors.
We have a packed schedule of programs for you over the next three days although you'll notice that a number of them are not worth the money you paid for them. Don't ya just love us! Some of our newest seminars include "How to Laugh without Laughing Derisively," "What's the Deal with Honest Witnesses?" and "Screwing New York Businessmen."
After our guest speaker this morning, we're going to break into special subgroups as follows:
Jewish Judges Against Muslims will meet in Conference Room A.
Irish Judges against the English will meet in Conference Room B.
Italian Judges Against Anyone Who Doesn't Eat Pasta At Their Mother's House on Sunday Night, Conference Room C, and
Muslim Judges Against the Jews, Except Paul Rudd. Gee, I guess nobody can help liking Paul Rudd. This group will meet...
What's that, Mohammed? You and the Jewish judges want to have a joint meeting? You have a lot in common and always have a great time together? Sure, no problem!
And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce our special guest speaker. He will discuss with us today how each one of us must unite to defeat the greatest threat our profession has ever faced, the man who has been on to us all along, that tireless champion of judicial reform and honesty, Mr. Donald J. Trump!
Our guest speaker needs no introduction. He's been screwing non-Hispanic plaintiffs and defendants for many years now, God bless him! Please welcome.....
Judge Gonzalo Curiel!
Judge Curiel, please teach all us corrupt,depraved,and biased judges how to build a wall around Mr. Trump.
I'm sure Trump will buy them off, or build a tower that will ascend high above the measly wall.
Trump, the Incorruptible? Trump, the Untouchable? I hope they eat 'em alive like piranhas!
I love the name Perry Jury. Very clever.
It's too late. The time to laud me for that one has expired.
Okay, how about Peer Perry Jury?
Nah. You still blew it.
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