Wednesday, July 8, 2015

By The Skinner of Their Teeth (FF)

copyright Stephen Baum

"Hey, Fluffster, what are you doing?"

"Just running down the corridor of this box we're in, Whiskers, looking for ..." 

"I know what you’re looking for.  Cheese."

"Well, I ..."

"Don't you get it?  It's an experiment Dr. Skinner is conducting.  He puts cheese at the end of a corridor for a few days, then yanks it away. He wants to see how long it takes you to realize it's not there anymore."

"Yeah, but ..."

"Don't you realize he's playing you for a sap?!"

"But, Whiskers ..."

"There, look!  No cheese!"

"Which is great, just the way I want it."

"What?!!" 

"I hate the smell of cheese.  Anywhere it isn't is where I want to be."

~~~~~~~~~~~

And I agree with Fluffster, by the way; I hate cheese.  I feel so strongly about it I wrote a piece on it in the early days of this blog. Any other fromage-a-phobes out there?

I thought not.  Well, the other mostly cheese-eating Friday Fictioneers have taken a break from their brie to offer their takes on the picture prompt above, and you can access them by clicking here.  

I've been somewhat unable to keep up with comments lately on other Fictioneers' work.  Feel free to ignore me while this lasts or better yet, write a 100% honest comment, warts and all! (I don't actually have warts.)

Just don't leave me a cheese basket.

46 comments:

  1. Fluffster?? What kind of name is that for a mouse, Perry?
    From the nature of this tale, I suspect that somewhere back in your tainted past someone forced you to read that book, "Who Moved My Cheese?" Or perhaps you had a date who once asked, "Who Cut The Limburger?" Which was a rhetorical question since there were only two people in the car. That being the case, I can understand why you and cheese are no longer on speaking terms.

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    1. Actually I have hated cheese all my life. I even become nauseous when somebody taking a picture yells "say cheese!" I've never understood how people could like it, or why everyone thinks that I'm strange cause I don't. So I will never be on speaking terms with cheese even if cheese has a really good looking sister who likes older cheese-hating men. Incidentally I'm so pleased I put the comment above that said people don't have to comment on my flash fiction posts because YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS COMMENTED!!! I hate it when people take me at my word.

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    2. Don't worry about that, Perry. I'll never take you at your word. By the way, I gave you credit for all the recent computer glitches. Don't be surprised if North Korea comes calling with a job offer you can't refuse.

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  2. Cheeseburger coming right to your door, Perry. Because you're worth it... Good one.

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    1. I'm gonna lock and bolt that door. And never come out. Thanks, Sandra!

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  3. O yes.. the reference to that book "who moved my cheese?", seems clear. But yes it would be a great disaster for science if the rat hated cheese.. maybe Fluffster is intolerant to lactose.

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    1. No, Fluffster just knows what's good and what isn't! A reasonable rat.

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  4. I like the name Fluffster. Great story.

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    1. Yes, I've been thinking about changing my name to Fluffster for quite some time. Thanks, Sally.

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  5. I guess I'm the opposite then. Like cheese. A lot :) Was wondering the same as Bjorn. Maybe Fluffster is lactose intolerant. :D

    My #FF

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    1. You are welcome to enjoy your cheese all you like. Just keep it away from me and Fluffster!

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  6. You can always count on those who choose to swim against the tide - I prefer the Blue Cheese which even the cheese lovers hate to have ! :)

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    1. Those of us that hate the cheese are always swimming against the tide of public opinion. Those who like it think we're nuts! Maybe we are.

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  7. Dear Perry,

    At least you never have to worry about mixing milchik and fleishdik. I'll take all the cheese...with crackers and whine...I mean wine.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. If you try to force me to eat cheese, I'll whine. I mean even more than normal.

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  8. Replies
    1. I forgive you, but don't ever bring it up again.

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  9. Perry, I think the mouse are playing the researcher now. A mouse that hates cheese has got to mess with the results a little. :)

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    1. Fluffster has Skinner all mixed up. I'd recheck his findings if I were Wikipedia.

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  10. Reminds me of the "talking dog act" joke.
    Good stuff Perry.

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    1. You mean "I wanted him to be a doctor?" I like that one too!

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  11. Disagreed to on cheese but agreed to the rest. 8-) Tay.

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    1. Very few agree on the cheese, so thanks for writing instead of turning me in to the authorities.

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  12. Hmm, interesting if slightly hysterical piece.
    And surely you don't actually 'hate' cheese, you just don't like the taste, sight, smell, sound, feel and/or idea of it.
    No?

    Incidentally, your blog refuses to recognise me:
    http://ceayr.com/

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    1. Yes, Blogger is very erratic with respect to other types of blogs. I've been told to switch out of it, but I'm not sure how to do it. And yes, I hate the taste, sight, smell, sound, feel and idea of cheese as well as any other descriptor of it that anyone can come up with.

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  13. This story reads like the 'Who moved my cheese' behind the scenes :) Fun one.

    I can't stand the smell and pungency of certain cheeses but have come to love mozzarella's stringy goodness on Pizza.

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    1. Well, you're halfway to a soul mate. The strings make me sick, however.

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  14. I have a friend who feels like you... real pain in the ass when I am making food for him! ;-)

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    1. Too bad your friend is not a woman; I would like to marry him (I mean, her).

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  15. Wisconsin is my favorite state. 'Nuff said.

    Despite your defective taste buds, and those of your protagonist, I enjoyed the story. 😆

    Now, back to my brie....

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  16. That'll skew old Skinner's results. Loved the story, loved the mice. And I usually don't love mice. Cheese,however ...

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    1. Thank you. Fluffster and Whiskers are so thrilled to be loved!

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  17. Do you hate all cheeses? Maybe you haven't had a good one, Perry. Sometimes I'm really in the mood for cheese, except for American or anything that comes in a can. That's yucky. I'm with Whiskers on this if it's one of those. Very funny! Great story!

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    1. I hate them all. I actually have done a spit take when biting into a salad or soup in a restaurant which turns out to contain cheese in amounts so small that the waitperson has assured me there was no cheese."I'm sorry sir, I just checked with the chef and he says there is indeed a small amount of cheese in the salad," and I have already spit into the face of the person sitting across from me. It's happened more than once.

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  18. I thought rats preferred rotting corpses.
    And you don't need to tell people to ignore you, Perry - just post your blog further down the page. My story last week went up on Wednesday = 25 comments.
    This week's went in on Thursday = 5 comments.
    What's wrong with people that they can't be arsed to scroll down?

    What a sense of freedom it gives one to know nobody will be reading this rant of mine!
    Or will they? Duh-duh-duuum!

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    1. Well, I'm reading it anyway. And I'm going to comment on your story right now!

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  19. Whiskers will be happy, having all the cheese for himself in the future. And Fluffster will confuse the scientists, who love cheese like I do. Yumyum...

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    1. Fluffster and I just don't understand you and Whiskers.

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  20. I can't believe it. I typed the above words because your comment box usually won't take my comment the first time, and this time it did. After all you did to your computer recently, this program is likely to leave you. Loved Whiskers and Fluffster. Fluffster will drive the scientist up the wall. Funny stuff, Perry. :D --- Suzanne

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    1. Thank you, Suzanne. Maybe screwing up my computer did some good after all. I love Whiskers and Fluffster too, but Fluffster more. We're kindred spirits.

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  21. As always, Perry, very clever and funny! I loved the nod to Skinner. :-)

    BTW: I read Russell's post and must implore you to stop messing with my internet... It's been driving me nuts! I had a hunch you might be involved. ;-)

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    1. Thanks, Dawn! Yes, I am responsible for most problems on the Internet. Mark Zuckerberg begged me to stop it recently too. Pathetic. But I'll do it for you!

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