Are you too old for Details?
I’m referring, of course, to that
special rite of passage in the life of the male when he attains the age and
maturity at which the giving to and receiving from male peers of explicit
verbal descriptions of recent sexual encounters (formally known
as Details) is officially outgrown.
But unlike, say, a Bar Mitzvah,
the Rite of Passage of the Passing of Details does not arrive
for all at the same time. For some it may come at age 23, for others at 33 or
even 45, and for a few straggling others, it may arrive ... well
... even later still.
"Hi, Stan, this is
Perry."
"Hey, Perry! How are you?"
"It isn't how I am that's important, Stan. It's how you are!"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, didn't you have a first date last night with the woman you met at that adult education course Cooking with Leeks?"
"Oh yeah, Samantha. Sure did."
"Well-l-l-l..."
"Well, what?"
"Details! Details!"
"Details?"
"Of course! Details, man, Details!"
"Perry, I’m 54 years old, and you're 64. We outgrew giving Details in the last century!"
"Well, Stan, I can't exactly say I outgrew giving Details. I lost touch with them."
"Lost touch with them?"
"Yeah, I lost touch with having them to give."
"Aren't you ashamed, Perry, a grown man to be asking for Details?"
"I dunno. I'll let you know after you float me a few."
"Forget it, Perry! My kids are too old for Details!"
"And what you implying? That mine are not?!"
"Perry, how would you like it if I asked you to give me Details about your last date?"
"Not so much, seeing that the closest I've come to a date lately was a tryst with Slutsoversixty.com. Even I'd be disgusted to hear the Details."
"All, right, Perry, all right! I met Samantha for coffee, we discussed movies, world affairs, and our common love of leeks and agreed to get together for dinner on Thursday. Happy now?"
"Thank you, Stan, I am."
"Good. We can put this stupid Details business behind us?"
"Of course. Just one
thing."
"What?"
"How early may I call you Friday morning for Details?!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Of course, folks, this is just a dopey comedy post and I am way too old for and in no way interested in Details. I hope you enjoyed ... oh, you didn't read it? You were out last night on a date?
Tell me everything!
Of course, folks, this is just a dopey comedy post and I am way too old for and in no way interested in Details. I hope you enjoyed ... oh, you didn't read it? You were out last night on a date?
Tell me everything!
2 comments:
Perry, you are horrible at getting details. All you got was an overview of the evening. I want to know what movies they watched, was it Birdman, The Theory of Everything, or Deep Throat? Did they make-out passionately after chewing on leeks or just gag on each other's breath after the first (and last) kiss? Dig a little deeper. We want the story within the story.
I guess I'm very rusty at getting details. I wanted to know all about the movies and got really excited when he talked about the Key Grip. Anyway, let me turn you on to OlderWomenWhoArentHalfBad.com. If you like prunes, you'll especially enjoy it.
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