Monday, March 16, 2015

"Bye, Future Car," Part II

                                            "Bye, Future Car"
A New Version of a TV Commercial You've No Doubt Seen

The guy from the first commercial and his wife are standing in front of their lovely suburban home about to get into their late model Audi. As he climbs into the driver's seat he gives his wife a kiss on the cheek, upon which a strange man comes up behind them.

"Are you sure you want to do that?"

"Of course, she's my wife.  Who are you?"

"Oh, hi, I'm the Second Husband."

"What do you mean?  We just got married."

"Correct.  You're the first husband, and I'm the second.  One, two." 

"Honey, get in the car!"

"Funny how I'll be saying the exact same thing to her in eight years.  Five if you count the three years we'll be messing around behind your back."

"Messing around behind my ...?!!" 

"I hope you're not the kind of guy who likes to do things around the house. Because I'm so lazy I can't be counted on to flush the toilet, let alone put the toilet seat down."

"No, I like to do lots of ..."

"And what about Mudbone? I hope you make First Wife take care of him because he's always throwing up around leather and the only thing that mutt is good for is humping your leg!" 

"No, no, I love taking care of ..."

"Well, cut it out! You should think about me, and all the other husbands after me!"

"Husbands after you?!  How many are there?"

"Who knows? You know how relationships go these days, First Husband."

"I don't get it. Why would she ever dump me for you?"

"I should think you wouldn't have to ask that.  I have a lot of Italian blood."

"You're crazy!  Honey, let's get out of here!"

"Bye, Future Wife!"

"Don't talk to him, honey. Roll up the window!"

"Bye, Future House. Bye, Future Huge Chunk of First Husband's 401 (k) Account.  Bye Future Prestigious Country Club Membership First Husband Can No Longer Afford."

"Shut up!!  Leave us alone!!!"

"Oh, I forgot. There's one more thing."

"What's that?"

"Bye, Future Car."


Now I, Mudbone, am the star of two Audi Commercials!


Russell Gayer said...

I knew my wife had been saving herself for someone.

Perry Block said...

Yes, she's saving herself for an Audi. Second Husband's Audi. Bye, Past Tense Russell!