Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Over the Hill Hero




"Bruce, what are you doing?"

"I've got to save this poor individual trapped beneath a barrage of falling pillows, Selena!"

"Bruce, that's a doll with striped socks.  No one is in any danger whatsoever."

"Oh, I see!  Well, perhaps I'll just check to see if ....."

"The Bat Signal is on?  It hasn't been on in years!  And why that ridiculous nautical headgear?"

"The mask isn't for you.  It's for those you love."

"Oh, Selena, this is terrible!" said her neighbor Sarah. "What happened?"

"He's been this way ever since he turned 55, the Joker beat him in thumb wrestling, and Bane finally succeeded in blowing up Gotham City."

"Can anything be done for him?"

"Don't worry; Superman is coming over to play checkers. That always perks him up."

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I doubt anyone could help but wonder how a superhero like Batman, someone who is used to contending with arch villains and routinely saving the planet,  manages to make the transition to contending with bird poop on his favorite park bench and routinely saving string.  This is the theme of my post today in response to the picture prompt above for this week's Friday Fictioneers

Look, up in the sky, it's a bird, it's a plane, it's the other Friday Fictioneers flying high with their own interpretations of the same prompt. No telling where they'll land, so do yourself a favor and ride along by clicking above.

It's good that Batman and Superman will at least have each other to reminisce about old times together with.  Not to mention a stimulating talk or two about prune juice. 

42 comments:

  1. I'm not surprised at all that Batman ended up in your story. It's quite fitting along with the wicked witch of the east, is it? Sure, why not?!! Funny, Perry. I hope Superman can set him straight.

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    1. I hope Superman can see straight or we're all in trouble! Thanks, Amy.

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  2. Gotham City has been blown up? This is distressing news!

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  3. OMG! This is very funny! I found today's prompt difficult but you've done a bang-up job. Good on ya'. Alicia Jamtaas here. Can't seem to get my wordpress profile to show up. Sorry about that. I may forever remain Anonymous!

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    1. Others seem to have that problem too with Blogger. You did a very fanciful job on the prompt while I just reached back in for the good old Dark Knight. Maybe we could have Batman take on a Splocket or two sometime! Thanks for writing,Alicia!

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  4. Funny story as usual, Perry. Poor old Batman. I take it this is the real man behind the myth. It we only knew. Somewhere they're actually growing older just like the rest of us. Well done. : )

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    1. Yes, they are, and it must be very bitter for them. Poor Batman - all that training and effort and only about 20 good years before geezerdom! Like an athlete, it's a very short career and then it's hanging around the Bat Cave playing shuffleboard with Green Lantern.

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  5. Great story Perry, someone's having a second childhood here. :)

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  6. and i'll never look at my favorite superhero the same way again. :)
    another brilliant, hilarious story, Perry.how do you come up with all this crazy stuff?!

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    1. How do I come up with it?
      Inspiration from people like you, kz.
      And thank you for it.

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  7. Oh, this was wonderful! I adore DC Heroes, imagine a retirement home for superheroes. :)

    Another Anonymous - Loré

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    1. Yeah, but they finally made Wonder Woman cover up! Thanks for writing.

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  8. i suppose it's time to build a wheelchair ramp at the hall of justice. well done.

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    1. Pretty good idea since there's been one at the Fortress of Solitude for years.

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  9. I fondly believed that superheroes never aged. It's quite comforting to know they do!

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    1. I don't know if it's comforting or not. I don't think I want to be saved by a hero with liver spots.

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  10. Out of the park, Perry, I really enjoyed this and the voice / dimensions you gave both characters. You're on top form.

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    1. Top form? Thank you, Jennifer! Maybe I'll try out to be the new Batman ...

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  11. Hilarious! I loved that you took us to the land of superheroes ... wherever that is. :)

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    1. Pretty sure it's in New Jersey, off Exit 18 A.

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  12. I think Selena and friend are a couple of party poopers. Wait until they get older and see what happens. As for me, I'm retaining my super hero status!

    janet

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    1. You'll always be my favorite superhero, Janet! Umm, you do have some kind of super power to save me and stuff, don't you?

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  13. I hear Superman cheats at checkers and his X-ray vision might be dangerous to your pacemaker. The old Bat geezer probably needs more fiber in his diet. The last thing he needs to battle is constipation--or is it incontinence?

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    1. The Dark Knight takes on his most nefarious foe --- Flaccidity! "Commissioner Gordon, I am powerless against my arch foe, Flaccidity! I'm afraid I've become soft on crime! And everything else too!" Yeah, it's very depressing. And I've heard all Superman does with his X-ray vision anymore is look up Lois' dress.

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  14. I never did care much for Batman. He's no superhero. He's just a rich guy with an R&D department. I'm glad to see he got old and had to give it up.

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    1. God, you don't like anybody! Not Batman, not the Beatles ... what, you hate Mother Teresa too?

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  15. I love Batman, but it is interesting to think what he would do when he got older. Maybe by then he'd have drones he could deploy to do the crime-fighting for him. Love the ending too. :)

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    1. Well, in Batman Beyond he hired a young guy to take over whom he gave directions to via a wire. Then that guy could hire someone when he gets old, and the next guy could do the same, and it would be just all the Lassies, one after the next!

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  16. Perry good story - I'm having trouble getting WordPress to publish comments from me. So, I like your stories and Bruce Wayne has a lot of secrets! Have a good week, Nan :)

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    1. Thanks, Nan. Bruce will let you in on another little secret: He lines the horseshoes he and Superman toss with Kryptonite!

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  17. Dear Perry,

    Poor Batman. You've put this picture of an old, saggy man in tights and cape in my head and I can't make it go away. At any rate your story leaped tall buildings in a single bound. Made me smile and then laugh.

    Shalom and Happy Pesach,

    Rochelle

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    1. Thanks, Rochelle. Actually it's me who's the old, saggy man in tights and a cape. That would probably make you do something other than smile and then laugh!

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  18. This is my absolute favourite this week - had me rolling around in laughter. Hilarious!!!!

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    1. Thanks! I'll let the Dark Knight know all about it at potty time.

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  19. Another week and I just wish you had a "Like" button... the idea of Batman trying to figure out the stuff we all have to deal with– very clever!

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    1. A "like" button I have on Faceboook which is growing as old and neglected as Batman in the story. But thanks for the compliment!

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  20. The Home for Old Super Heroes... great!

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    1. Yeah, but you should see Wonder Woman. Not a pretty sight!

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  21. Poor Bruce-he has always been unlucky!Well,at least he has Superman to give him company ;-) As always,this was unique and a funny take,Perry :D

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    1. Thank you! Now, if you'll pardon me, Up, Up, and AWAY!!!

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