[News Item: Famed Actor Dick Van Dyke Weds Woman 46 Years His Junior]
Dick Van Dyke
Rose Marie II
Morey Amsterdam Jr.
Jacob Ezekial Matthews
Arlene "Tyler" Silver
As the show begins and the opening credits roll, Dick Van Dyke as Rob Petrie opens the door to his comfortable suburban home in New Rochelle, New York. He goes to kiss his wife and greet his son, then sees that he has company --- Buddy Purel and Sally Dodgers, his two co-writers on The Alan Brady's Intestate Heir's Show.
"Buddy! Sally! How'd you get here before me? I left the office way before you did."
"We drive more than 12 miles per hour, Rob."
"Right, Sal! And we don't stop to feed birds along the way either."
"Well, great to see ya! I'm coming right over to say hello."
"Be careful, Rob! Honey, be careful! Please be ... no, no, no, watch out for the ...!!!"
"Ottoman. Right, Sal?"
"OWWWW!!! OHHHHH! MY ANKLE!!! I think I broke it!"
"Good thing I have the Emergency Room on speed dial."
"This happen a lot, Arlene?"
"Every single night, Buddy. Last week he had to have an emergency hip replacement. Tuesday, both kneecaps. "
"Well, think I'll try to scare up a date with Herman Glimscher's nephew. See ya, guys."
"Wait up, Sal. I think I hear my wife Pickles III callin' me!"
"Oh, honey, I'm so sorry! I was hoping we'd actually make it through an entire night so we could ...."
"That's okay, Rob. I'm young. I can wait."
And congratulations to you, Dick Van Dyke!
You make us geezers proud.