I Watched "Hamilton" on Hulu and It Was Almost Better Than Seeing It Live

 

Yes, I realize that the title of this piece is somewhat controversial and I want to clarify it fully before any among you who are live theater purists decide to challenge me to a duel in which you won't aim your pistol upward but will rather shoot me directly in the heart!

To repeat:

Yes, I did indeed Watch "Hamilton" on Hulu and It Was Almost Better Than Seeing It Live 

Okay here's why:

1) It stars Lin-Manuel Miranda and Leslie Odom Jr.  I'm sure whoever those guys were who I saw a few years ago were great, and I should know their names, but you can't beat these two guys.  And on top of that, Leslie Odom Jr. is a proud Philly guy!  

Can't beat that.

2) Nobody in the audience is singing to the show.  In the theater many in the audience have seen the show multiple times and enjoy singing along with the actors. 

 I get that, and I am tolerant of it way more so than I would have been had it been "The Sound of Music" and the guy sitting next to me were rhapsodizing unmelodically to "The Hills are Alive with the Sound of Music" while I'm still trying to figure out  "How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?"

Still and all, I can't say I fully enjoyed the guy next to me channeling King George III while rhapsodizing unmelodically

"Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da

Da da dat dat da ya da ..."

and spitting half the lyrics out on me. 

In my house the only person singing and spitting is me. And that's disgusting enough. 

3) I am sitting in my underwear.  You can't beat watching "Hamilton" when the people on stage "are in the room where it happens" and you're in the room where you can scratch your butt.

Okay, did I redeem myself at least somewhat here?  I hope so.

Okay now, Everybody!

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I Was Caught on the Coldplay Platonic Cam

 

Yep, I was caught last week on the Coldplay Platonic Cam.  

Here's how it went down ....

"Look, everyone," said Chris Martin, "there's a man on camera with his arms around nobody! And nobody has their arms around him!"

"Oh ... er, umm ... hullo."

"Hello to you, friend!  We've got you on the Coldplay Platonic Cam.  What's your name, sir?"

"Umm ... Perry Block, Chris." 

"Hi, Perry! You know, actually most people caught on the Platonic Cam are standing two or three feet away from a dispassionate woman friend. But there's no woman within sight of you." 

"You noticed, huh?"

"Perry, did you ever actually have a platonic relationship with a woman?"

"Yes, Chris, once a long time ago, I did."

"Tell me about it, Perry."

"Her name was Allison. She was an attorney, quite beautiful with long blonde hair. She was the Perfect Platonic."

"The Perfect Platonic.  I like that."

"We had so much in common, Chris. We loved the same movies, the same art, the same music."

"Like Coldplay?"

"No, of course not like Coldplay!"

"That wasn't nice, Perry."

"Hey, at least you're not ABBA!''

"Thank God for that!  Tell me more about you and Allison."

"I always listened with great interest to everything she said. I took all her opinions into careful consideration, and I never ever pretended I was listening to her when I wasn't." 

"Sweet."

"I was always considerate of her feelings and was there for her whenever she felt sad or troubled. Sometimes I would listen for hours on end whenever she felt the need to pour her heart out."

"That sounds very special, Perry."

"It was! I always remembered her birthday and other special occasions and bought her thoughtful tasteful gifts on those occasions that she would invariably love."

"It truly sounds like the Perfect Platonic. So what happened?"

"One day she told me that I was so wonderful, so perfect in every respect, in so many ways everything she always dreamed of a man that ...

"Yes?"

"She had fallen passionately in love with me!" 

"I see."

"She said she could think of nothing else but how much she longed to have constant uninhibited no-holds-barred sex with me!"

"OMG! And how did you feel?"

"Exactly the same."

"Oh. So what happened?"

'We broke up.  You can't maintain a Perfect Platonic relationship when you have two people madly in love with each other like that."

"I understand. Did you ever see her again?"

"Of course not. But it was for the best."

"So today you're okay about it?"

"No, Chris, I'm not! I'm afraid I won't be able to have a detached, empty, non-physical relationship with a woman ever again!"

"Let's hope that isn't true, Perry."

"Could you do me a favor, Chris?" 

"Yes,  Perry?"

"Next time, catch me on the Coldplay Kiss Cam."  

"Why's that?"    

"It's just too painful to be Platonic anymore."     

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"Now Do You Forget All About Jeffrey Epstein?" A Truth Social Post.

 

The Radical Left Woke Mob Lunatics  are once again attempting to destroy the country you love and I pretend to love with another fraud that is even worse – far worse – than the Stolen Election Fraud of 2020.

 

Obama, Crooked Hillary, Comey, Brennan, and the Losers and Criminals of the Biden Administration who hate our country have their hands all over this   MALIGNANT scheme to SUBVERT the valiant efforts of YOUR FAVORITE PRESIDENT to MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!

 

And I am so upset by all this that I have used the words SUBVERT and MALIGNANT in the sentence above, not that I have any idea what they mean. 

 

Our great Attorney General Pam Bondi who is doing a terrific job (and who I am already getting a little sick of) and I call this

 

THE FARMER’S DOG/FRESH PET

HOUND DOG HOAX!!!

You’ve probably seen the TV commercial where the stupid young man of Low IQ (a Democrat!) throws his very hot, very young girl friend out of his house because she won’t support him in THE FARMER’S DOG/FRESH PET HOUND DOG HOAX to force feed his dog one of these two “dog foods” he keeps in his fridge.

 

Hey, you Low IQ Individual, as long as you’re throwing that very hot, very young girl friend away, throw her in the direction of the White House so that I can move on her like a bitch!

It is FAKE NEWS that these “dog foods” are healthy! They are rather designed to make your little Prince, or Fido, or Bark-Bark every bit as delicious to illegal and criminal immigrants as Trump's Steaks and Trump Vodka are to Normal American White People!

 

Obama, Crooked Hillary, Comey, Brennan, and the Losers and Criminals of the Biden Administration who hate our country want illegal and criminal immigrants from all the shithole countries in the world to flock to the country you love and I pretend to love already licking their lips and salivating their chops at the thought of FOUR-LEGGED BIG MACS ROAMING THE LAND before they even make it as far North as Springfield, Home of the Simpsons!

 

And as the better tasting dogs all get eaten, only the gay, bi, and trans dogs will remain un-eaten, furthering the Radical Left Woke Mob Lunatics’ GAY/TRANS/BI CA-NINE, TEN, ELEVEN, TWELVE CONNUNDRUM!

 

And  I am so upset by all this that I have used the word CONNUNDRUM in the sentence above, not that I have any idea what it means.

Now Do You Forget All About Jeffrey Epstein, who is somebody nobody cares about?  If not, you are a stupid person of low IQ and I don’t want your support.

 

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

DJT

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I'm Melting - What a World! - And There's Nothing I Can Do About It

 

Yes, I'm melting.  Not exactly like the Wicked Witch of the West but just as quickly and just as dramatically.

At least I'm not green.  At least not yet.

Not only have I been getting shorter but I'm also contracting.  I've been shrinking and contracting as if somebody put me in the drier.

I used to have a 36 inch waist.  Now my waist has wasted away to 29 inches. I literally cannot get my pants to stay up unless I wear both suspenders and a belt, a fact about which some people are incredulous.

I tell them that to accept that fact they have to embrace "the suspenders of disbelief."

I'll wait for it.

Aside from normal aging, another reason I'm shrinking is that I have extreme Scoliosis - which is not the name of Socrates' most apt pupil - but the condition more commonly known as curvature of the spine. 

Finally I had had enough. I went for a second opinion to an orthopedist who had been highly recommended to me named Dr. Kropotkin.

"Dr. Kropotkin," I said, "you come highly extolled to me."

"Thank you," he replied. "My approach is to treat my patients with respect so they can have hope that they can improve. There will be a brighter day ahead."

I certainly liked the sound of that.

"Let me take a look at your spine," said Dr. Kropotkin. "Please take off your shirt."

I did so.

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!" 

"I beg your pardon?"

"You have a spine that looks like it was designed by Zorro!"

"Umm,  is this how you give me respect,  Dr. Kropotkin?"

"Of course. But OMG, Your spine looks like the punctuation mark at the end of a properly phrased response on Jeopardy!"

"A question mark? But when do we get to the hope part?

"Soon. Do you like mythology, Mr. Block?"

"I guess."

"If Diana the Huntress needed a new bow and arrow she ought to use your ridiculously curved spine to draw back her bow!"

"Well, I'm certainly seeing that brighter day ahead. What can you do for me?"

"Nothing comes to mind."

"Thank you, Kamala Harris. So what can I look forward to?"

"Looking Daniel Radcliff eye to eye. After that, you've seen "The Incredible Shrinking Man?"

"Yeah, in fact, I once did a parody of it."

"Better reread that parody. And think about projecting yourself directly into it."

And so looks like I will continue to shrink.  And I have but one thing to say about it.

What a  World!  What a World!

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