A Corned Beef Special – heaps of Corned Beef, Cole Slaw, and Russian Dressing - provided the corned beef is the kind that clogs your arteries. With a boatload of wash ‘n dries to clean me up afterwards.
2. What’s one thing you own that you really should throw out?
My copy of Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. It didn’t work.
3. What is the scariest animal?
Spiders. Thank God they have never learned to enrich uranium!
4. Apples or oranges?
Oranges. They’re sweet, juicy, and delicious. Apples get stuck in my throat. But on Halloween, I gotta go with apples, you can’t bob for oranges!
5. Have you ever asked someone for their
autograph?
Yes, but I’m only brave enough to ask D Listers.
6. What do you think happens when we die?
We go into a lovely place where Hallmark Movies are continually playing. Each movie has a different cast but every movie is about young people with great hair falling in love. It’s fine but quite frankly after 50 billion years it does get a bit tedious.
7. Favorite action movie?
Debbie Does… oh, not that kind of action? In that case …
8. Favorite smell?
Hmmm ... Come closer!
9. Least favorite smell?
Cheese. But you knew that.
11. Dogs or Cats?
Dogs. (But in case any cats are reading this, I’m just being transactional. You’re my guys too!)
12. Window or Aisle?
Window, unless I’m in that Twilight Zone episode with William Shatner.
13. You get one song to listen to for the rest of your life: what is it?
Deacon Blues. I love me my Steely Dan. But they want a name when they lose? Hell, I’ve got a half dozen of those names already!
14. What number am I thinking of?
27. No? Ahh fuck!!!
15. Describe the rest of your life in 5 words.
And thank you, Stephen Colbert, for standing up for those better ideas for all of us.
You will be missed.
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2 comments:
Nicely done. Too bad Colbert doesn't book unknowns to take the test. But since you're now "known" as a result of taking the test, I say... book Perry before the Late Show is the late Late Show. "Meanwhile..." The scariest bug I found was a huge water bug that popped out of nowhere TODAY crawling on a dining room chair near me (maybe from the inclemently warm weather?) ... And I went after the sucker with all I could muster but couldn't find him afterwards. It was like a hallucination that popped out of nowhere. I hope.
If I lose a spider in my house after first spotting him I pretty much check into a motel until I'm sure he has died from old age. I'm not sure if I hate spiders or cheese more. I think before Colbert goes off the air there will be a run of people taking the Colbert Questionnaire. What about "Cowan Takes the Colbert Questionnaire?"
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