In an apparent major reversal of opinion, Trump said on social media last Sunday that House Republicans should vote to release the Epstein Files “because we have nothing to hide.”
Maybe I'm naive, but I believe the guy.
But then someone pointed out that Trump can afford to say this because he knows he has all the Republican Senators in his “back pocket.”
How is that possible?
Before his presidency, Trump’s back pocket was barely 5 by 5 inches. It was so thin that when he opened his wallet, not just the proverbial moths flew out, but moths thinner than Tilda Swinton.
But in the past several weeks, Trump’s back pocket has paid host to bulldozers, excavators, wrecking balls, backhoes, cranes, earth movers, cement trucks, front‑end loaders, asphalt pavers — and a construction manager named Herbert.
Suddenly, Trump’s 5‑by‑5 back pocket has been dramatically transformed into a 90,000‑square‑foot Grand Back Pocket!
After the ribbon-cutting early Sunday morning, Republican Senators have been scrambling to enter the Grand Back Pocket.
First up, of course, was Senator Lindsey Graham.
“I am absolutely thrilled to be the very first to nestle myself firmly in Donald’s Grand Pocket,” gushed Senator Graham, “though it wasn’t a long trip for me — from my usual vantage point so far up Donald’s ass, I can practically see his tonsils.”
Senators Tommy Tuberville and Ted Cruz have both been spotted jostling each other to become the second one so ensconced.
“Out of the way, Tuberville,” shrieked Cruz. “Don’t forget my father murdered John F. Kennedy!”
And the rest of the Republican Senators have been squealing, “Me… me… me,” all the way home to Trump’s Grand Pocket.
Soon the bill to release the Epstein Files will move from the House to the Senate.
Or maybe it won't.
Trump might have something else up his sleeve.
Herbert is already drawing up plans for a 90,000‑square‑foot Grand Sleeve.
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