I'm Secretary of Hot War Pete Hegseth! In line with my compelling speech on Warrior Ethos a few days ago, I'm coming to you on ABC, CBS and any other radical left crazy TV broadcast stations we can make money on with an amazing offer!
Most warriors over 40 look in the mirror and see this:
When they could be seeing this:
Yes, today's warriors need to be trim, fit, and male. And there will be no more beards, long hair, or superficial individual expression. But worst of all is a warrior with undereye bags!
Nothing indicates lack of readiness to hunt, attack, and kill our enemies than looking like you've been up all night drinking, which, umm, I never have been!
But now there's Particle Face Cream which will reduce those undereye bags to fighting size to make you look great as you rip the lungs out of the Enemy Within in Portland Oregon!
And fellas: it will make those few women who remain in our armed services after we kick most of them out look younger and hotter! Ah-Whooo!
Particle Face Cream has six clinically proven ingredients. Do I know what they are? Of course not, who cares?
So, generals and admirals and even lowly warriors, through this special TV offer on this radical left crazy woke television station, Particle Face Cream is now available for the low, low price of only $99.99 per tube but hey, I'm only getting half of that!
Of course Trump is getting the other half, naturally.
Get Yourself Particle Face Cream today!
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