Top Ten Reasons Seven Democrats (and One Independent) Caved on Health Care

 

Top Ten Reasons Seven Democrats (and one Independent) Caved on Health Care

10) Senator Thune threatened to pluck out Senator Angus King's mustache hair by hair! 

9)  "No matter how badly we cop out, Chuck Schumer will be blamed anyway." 

8) "Oh, boy, we're gonna be interviewed by Caitlin Collins!  And maybe she'll let some of us braid her hair!"

7) "Angus King: "We realized we just couldn't take on Donald Trump so we had to give up." (He actually said this, I'm not making this up.)

6) "At long last all seven of us relatively obscure senators - and Senator Durbin too - are indubitably, unabashedly, and unremittingly Hot Shit!" 

5) "Republicans are right! It's a wondrous feeling to please Dear Leader!"

4) "The  Republicans have promised us a vote on health care in December. And Lindsey Graham has also promised us not to you know what in our mouths in December."

3) Fuck Tylenol!

2) "We needed to get SNAP benefits flowing again." (There are some good reasons.)

And the No.1 Reason Seven Democrats (and One Independent) Caved on Health Care

1)  "We think Senator Fetterman may actually be a genie, and we really want a pony!" 

"If Senator Thune plucked it out, it would really hurt!"

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And the Number One Sign that Perry is Kinda Old:

He Still Thinks Top Ten Lists are a Thing.