Sunday, June 24, 2018

A Few Ways for a Restaurant to Strike a Blow for the Resistance Even if They're Not Bold Enough to Outright Refuse Restaurant Service to Huckabee Sanders

“Ms. Huckabee Sanders!  Welcome!  How many in your morally bankrupt political party ... I mean, party."

“Would you like a booth, Ms. Huckabee Sanders? Will that be a restaurant booth or Frank Booth from Blue Velvet? 

“Let me show you to your table, Ms. Huckabee Sanders. Would you like smoking, non-smoking, or special place in hell?

“Your menu, Ms. Huckabee Sanders. We have some specials today including cage-free children.  Ooops, I mean cage-free chicken!”

“Your server Ralph will be right with you as soon as he finishes masturbating in the kitchen.” 

“I’m sorry, Ms. Huckabee Sanders, our restrooms are only for non-customers."

“Water?  Sure.  Would you like tap water, sparking water, or Flint Water?”

"We're not a Jewish restaurant and we have no Jews in our kitchen, but let me recommend to you our delicious Corned Beef Special!"

"So you want French Toast, Canadian Bacon, and German Wiener Schnitzel and last night you tried to eat Mexican food?  You really are clueless, aren't you, Ms. Huckabee Sanders?"

"Here’s your lunch, Ms. Huckabee Sanders. It’s piping hot!  OMG, I’m so sorry!!!”

“Yes, we have the little packets of ketchup. One to a customer."

"By any chance did you find one of Ralph's fingernails in the salad?"

“Here’s your check. What do you mean? Oh, the prices factor in the impact of the recent tariffs.”  

“Hope you enjoyed your meal, Ms. Huckabee Sanders.  By the next time you come in we should have the restraining order in place.”


Can you think of more?

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