Tuesday, May 1, 2018

You Can Skip Ad in Five Seconds, But Why Would You?





Here's why, by percentage:
                                                                                       
7.5% - People who skip ad in five seconds because it makes them feel gutsy even though they still sleep with a night light.

5.5% - People who skip ad in five seconds because there is no Premium Option  to skip ad in four seconds.

16% - People who skip ad in five seconds because to the best of their ability to  determine in five seconds of watching there are not going to be any tits in the ad. 

13% - People who skip ad in five seconds because it is narrated by Susan Sarandon who refused to support Clinton. Happy Now, BITCH? 

2.5% - People who skip ad in five seconds because they have to pee. 

2.7% - People who skip ad in five seconds because it is an ad for Applebee's and who would volitionally live in a neighborhood where Applebee's constitutes "Eating Good in the Neighborhood?" 

0.3% - People who skip ad in five seconds because Jesus Christ has returned to Earth ushering in the Second Coming, the Apocalypse, and the End of Times and the ad isn't very interesting anyway.

2% - People who skip ad in five seconds because it is an ad for Scientology and Scientology just ain't any fun anymore without Leah Remini. 

7.4% - People who skip ad in five seconds because they do not want to become any more sexually transfixed by Mike Rowe than they already are. 

8% - People who skip ad in five seconds because they also skip to my Lou.

8% - People who skip ad in five seconds because it is almost time for shul.

16% - People who skip ad in five seconds because they have been commanded to skip ad in five seconds by Lord Sandor, the Ruler. 

8.5% -  People who skip ad in five seconds because given the luck they have had throughout their entire lives there is just no way there are going to be tits in the ad, even if they did watch it all the way through.

0.7 % - People who skip ad in five seconds because what are you going to do about it, Pilgrim?

0.3% - People who skip ad in five seconds because Jesus Christ has returned to Earth ushering in the Second Coming, the Apocalypse, and the End of Times and even though they are Jews just like us, why not check it out? 

24% - People who skip ad in five seconds because they are annoying impatient assholes.

.2 % - People who skip ad in five seconds because a sexual partner is waiting for them. In other words, not you.


Note: Total of percentages above may not equal 100% because of rounding and very poor math skills.

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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

What? No tits? What king of an ad is that?
I bet you're the kind of guy who just watches the ads and skips the videos.

Perry Block said...

Well, 24.5% of People who Skip Ad in Five Seconds Skip Ad in Five Seconds for Perceived or Actual Lack of Tits. (Hey, I don't make these things up, I just report the research.)