Tuesday, May 1, 2018

You Can Skip Ad in Five Seconds, But Why Would You?





Percentage of People Who Skip Ad in Five Seconds By Reason
They Skip Ad in Five Seconds  
                                                                                          
7.5% - People who skip ad in five seconds because it makes them feel gutsy even though they still sleep with a night light.

5.5% - People who skip ad in five seconds because there is no YouTube Premium option to skip ad in three seconds.

16% - People who skip ad in five seconds because to the best of their ability to  determine in five seconds there are not going to be any tits in the ad. 

13% - People who skip ad in five seconds because it is narrated by Susan Sarandon whose dogged support of Bernie and failure to embrace Clinton once Sanders was out of the race helped stick us with Trump.  You Bitch!

2.5% - People who skip ad in five seconds because they have to pee. 

0.3% - People who skip ad in five seconds because Jesus Christ has returned to Earth ushering the Second Coming, the Apocalypse, and the End of Times and the ad isn't very interesting anyway.

2% - People who skip ad in five seconds because it is an ad for Scientology and Scientology just ain't any fun anymore now that Leah Remini isn't a member.

8% - People who skip ad in five seconds because they also skip to my Lou.

8% - People who skip ad in five seconds because it is almost time for shul.

16% - People who skip ad in five seconds because they have been commanded to skip ad in five seconds by the Supreme Ruler, Lord Sandor. 

8.5% -  People who skip ad in five seconds because given the day they are having there is just no way there are going to be tits in the ad even if they watch it all the way through.

4.3% - People who skip ad in five seconds because it a preview for a movie with Susan Sarandon whose dogged support of Bernie and failure to embrace Clinton once Sanders was out of the race helped stick us with Trump.  You Bitch!

0.7 % - People who skip ad in five seconds because what are you going to do about it, Pilgrim?

0.3% - People who skip ad in five seconds because Jesus Christ has returned to Earth ushering the Second Coming, the Apocalypse, and the End of Times and even though they are Jews like us they're a bit curious.

24% - People who skip ad in five seconds because they are impatient assholes.

4.5% - People who skip ad in five seconds because they've finally had it with Flo from Progressive.

.2 % - People who skip ad in five seconds because a sexual partner is waiting for them. In other words, not you.


Note: Total of percentages above may not equal 100% because of rounding and very poor math skills.


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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

What? No tits? What king of an ad is that?
I bet you're the kind of guy who just watches the ads and skips the videos.

Perry Block said...

Well, 24.5% of People who Skip Ad in Five Seconds Skip Ad in Five Seconds for Perceived or Actual Lack of Tits. (Hey, I don't make these things up, I just report the research.)