Sunday, March 19, 2017

Nothing to Budge in the Budget

Hey, Kid!  Fuck You!

I was critical at first when I heard the news about draconian cuts in Trump's budget for fiscal year 2018. But as I review it I find the budget less draconian than I thought and actually even conian!

There's nothing to budge in the budget.

Meals on Wheels, initially to be eliminated, has been resurrected in modified form as legislators with even the tiniest percentage of a heart (i.e. Average Republican Percentage, 2016 - 22%)  came to recognize the importance of underprivileged seniors receiving some food instead of having to forage for it. 

The revised program will be called Meals on Feet. Food delivery may be somewhat slower than under the former program.

Some cuts have also been introduced into the Headstart Breakfast Program for underprivileged children. Participating children will receive a nourishing breakfast including scrambled eggs scraped off the walls of local dysfunctional families, two small rocks, and a container of milk with an obscured expiration date.

“There is no demonstrated proof that children who pass out in school do any worse than those who do not,” stated Mick Mulvaney, Director of the Office of Management and Budget.

At National Public Radio, afternoons at five will still feature that venerable bastion of world news and knowledge slightly down scaled and renamed All Things Cursorily Perused.  NPR's funny Saturday morning quiz show with Peter Sagal will now be called Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me ... Ever.

At the EPA, budget cuts will be limited only to those affecting the environment. 

So are you still worrying about how the new budget will affect you?   I wouldn't worry much at all.

As long as you don't live in the United States.



Unknown said...

It's about time that we take food away from seniors. They have antiquated ideas about community values and charity for your neighbors. Thank God we did away with barn building and church potlucks too. Besides, starving is faster than waiting for sane healthcare legislation. Ugh mind blown!

Russell said...

This must be a real blow, Perry, since you'd just signed up for Meals on Wheels (someone should have told Tracey). Most children chew the covers off their books anyway, so I don't see cutting the free breakfast being a big deal. Books are low in calories and high in fiber, so consider it a healthy alternative.

Have you considered changing your name to Ralph? I hear he has sex once a year. That's better than zero.