Monday, December 23, 2013

A Baby Boomer Deals with Spam



Of late I've been receiving tons and mega-tons of comments on my blog.  Some days I can get as many as 20 or more comments directed to different posts on the blog, some old, some new, but all of them mine!

No, I'm not becoming popular. My blog Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute is still about as popular as a bad case of acne at a high school dance. The comments I'm receiving are all:

Perhaps you too are getting more spam comments these days. Anymore they roll into my e-mail inbox like storm clouds rolling into the sky on your day off at the beach. Often half my e-mails on a given day are from Anonymous, and it sure as hell isn't that I have a secret admirer.

Typically a message from Anonymous will arrive stating that Anonymous has posted a new comment on one of my posts, say, Rhinoceros Impoceros. And I think "a new comment?" There were never any old comments!

Clicking on the e-mail I get messages like this:

1) Incredible points. Outstanding aгguments. Keeρ up the great work.  Now look at my website http://www.sellyourpenisforcash.com

2) Hello! it's truly pleasant for me to pay a visit this website, it consists of important Information. Check out my website: http://Imhenerytheeighthiamhenerytheeighthiamiam  

3) ピックアップ これらのモンクレール ジャケット 
であなた 子供 明らかにすぐに 彼を守るのでは
My web site http://teethteethandmoreteeth.com

What is all this spam? What does it seek to accomplish?  Are they Trojan Horses, worms, cookies, cake, milk? Do they really expect me to click their proffered websites?  If that's the case, they better kiss my ass a lot better than handing me that general bullshit about how great my blog is when if they knew anything my blog they'd know it's the internet's answer to The Wreck of the Hesperus.

Fortunately the spam doesn't go through to the blog itself.  Blogger - which tends to lag behind WordPress in terms of development the same way an ox cart lags behind a Maserati - has apparently found a way to block the spam so it cannot breach the blog.  I've no doubt that WordPress developed and deployed such technology years ago, probably around the time it implemented 24 hour concierge service for subscribers.

But my in-box remains a breeding ground for guys named Anonymous.   I feel like I'm sponsoring the annual national convention for the United Perverts of America. 
So how do I get rid of all the spam in my in-box?

I assume of course WordPress probably developed a fix long ago, but if I wait for Blogger to come up with something similar,  Duck Dynasty, the Musical will have multiple touring companies throughout the United States before I lose even one Anonymous from my in-box.

So, do I need to change my metatags?  Or is that my metacarpals?  The whole thing seems metaphysical to me.  Damn it, I'm not technical!  I was born in 1950; technical for me is knowing how to operate a Pez Dispenser.  Probably I need to adjust my html.  The last time I had my html checked  it was a tad low, and I've been taking vitamins ever since.

The only hope, I think,  is some kind of mystical approach.  A chant.  A mantra, an invocation to banish the spam forever. But how am I ever going to find the right one?

I've got it.

SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, LOVELY SPAM,               WONDERFUL SPAM!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

Perry,
This was truly a great post. Interested in Penis Enlargement? Visit the fat lady on 42nd street in Philadelphia. I've told her your coming.
respectfully - An Arky in Westwood

Anonymous said...

We are legion... we are anonymous. I can get you some knockoff viagra for just a dollar a pill if you're interested....

Regards,
Phillip J. VanderMcDoogalkinz...er, I mean Anonymous

Perry Block said...

Been there. Major fail.

Perry Block said...

OMG! At first I thought you were the great Art Vandelay! With a price like that for blessed viagra, this is hardly spam ...

Anonymous said...

Truth be told, it's just sugar pills at an enormous upcharge. Our business relies heavily on the placebo effect.

Roz Warren said...

Want a smaller penis that doesn't work very well? We can do that for you.
Sincerely, Bizarro World Spam

Perry Block said...

Truth be told, my dates rely on the same thing.

Perry Block said...

Thank you very much, but I can do that for me too.

Coach Factory said...

abercrombie and fitch, longchamp, nike free, nike air max, barbour, hollister, lacoste, louboutin, north face, air force, sac louis vuitton, nike roshe, ray ban pas cher, nike trainers, louis vuitton, hollister, longchamp, nike huarache, ralph lauren, air jordan, tn pas cher, sac guess, vanessa bruno, burberry, timberland, hermes, michael kors, lululemon, nike roshe run, converse pas cher, ralph lauren, nike free, michael kors, vans shoes, new balance pas cher, hollister, louis vuitton, mulberry, vans, longchamp, nike blazer, ray ban, louis vuitton, montre pas cher, hogan, karen millen, air max, air max, michael kors, oakley pas cher

Coach Factory said...

abercrombie and fitch, mac cosmetics, valentino shoes, moncler outlet, insanity, canada goose, canada goose, herve leger, canada goose outlet, juicy couture outlet, ferragamo shoes, new balance shoes, asics, instyler, ugg boots, rolex watches, giuseppe zanotti, beats by dre, ghd, babyliss pro, birkin bag, jimmy choo, moncler, uggs on sale, chi flat iron, ugg, wedding dresses, canada goose, mcm handbags, canada goose, north face outlet, celine handbags, roshe run, reebok outlet, mont blanc, soccer shoes, juicy couture outlet, moncler, nfl jerseys, canada goose outlet, soccer jerseys, moncler, uggs outlet, lululemon outlet, marc jacobs, supra shoes, p90x, ugg boots, north face jackets, bottega veneta

Coach Factory said...

coach outlet, longchamp handbags, louis vuitton outlet, toms shoes, prada outlet, michael kors outlet, longchamp outlet, gucci outlet, ray ban sunglasses, nike free, christian louboutin shoes, cheap oakley sunglasses, prada handbags, michael kors outlet online, coach factory outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet online, michael kors outlet online, true religion jeans, ray ban sunglasses, coach outlet, nike air max, louboutin shoes, louboutin, michael kors outlet, burberry outlet online, coach purses, tiffany and co, burberry outlet online, louis vuitton handbags, chanel handbags, tory burch outlet, michael kors outlet, jordan shoes, air max, longchamp handbags, kate spade handbags, louis vuitton, michael kors outlet, coach outlet store online, louboutin outlet, nike shoes, kate spade outlet, louis vuitton outlet online, oakley sunglasses, oakley sunglasses, louis vuitton outlet stores

Shijun Lin said...

shijun 4.2 1
coach factory outlet
official kate spade outlet online
fake oakleys
chi hair strighteners
michael kors handbags
jordan retro 3
michael kors handbags
fitflop footwear
louis vuitton handbags
marc jacobs outlet
michael kors
mont blanc mountain
coach outlet canada
coach outlet store online
christian louboutin shoes
true religion outlet online
hollister outlet
nfl jerseys
timberland uk
coach factory outlet online
christian louboutin sale
abercrombie outlet
oakley outlet
adidas outlet store
coach factory outlet
michael kors canada
chanel handbags
kate spade totes
jordan 9
louis vuitton outlet
ray ban glasses
mont blanc mountain
abercrombie & fitch
true religion sale
michael kors outlet online
coach outlet store
cheap lebron james shoes
louis vuitton
ray ban eyeglasses
louis vuitton outlet

Juane Weg said...

raybans.com
fitflop shoes
nike air max shoes
michael kors handbags
jordans for girls
jordan shoes
coach outlet
nike outlet store
coach factory outlet
oakley sunglasses
fitflop
kevin durant basketball shoes
hermes birkin bag
nike outlet store online shopping
michael kors factory outlet online
north face clearance
coach bags
nfl jersey
rolex watches for men
tiffany jewelry
polo ralph lauren outlet online
hermes birkin
fitflops sandals for women
the north face clearance
michael kors outlet online
vans shoes
fendi outlet
fendi sunglasses
coach factory outlet online
fendi bags
coach factory outlet
christian louboutin outlet
north face denali jacket clearance
coach mens wallet
fitflop sale
celine outlet
asics running shoes
michael kors outlet
jordan shoes for kids
michael kors
cheap nike shoes from china
oakley sunglasses
20160408yxj

Lin Shijun said...

air jordan
http://www.tiffanyandcojewellery.us.com
fitflops
cheap ralph lauren
michael kors outlet online
michael kors outlet
michael kors handbags clearance
oakley outlet online
air jordan retro
jordan shoes
nike dunks shoes
cheap air jordan
michael kors outlet
michael kors outlet online
yeezy shoes
http://www.cheaprealjordans.us.com
adidas nmd
http://www.airjordanretro.uk
yeezy boost 350
tiffany and co outlet
tiffany and co outlet
michael kors handbags
nike zoom kobe
michael kors outlet
chrome hearts wholesale
kobe sneakers
cheap retro jordans
yeezy boost 350 for sale
http://www.tiffanyand.co.uk
jordan shoes
nike kobe sneakers
ugg boots uk
toms outlet store
mlb jerseys authentic
mlb jerseys authentic

chenmeinv0 said...

supra shoes
ugg uk
north face outlet
michael kors outlet
fitflop sale
louis vuitton discount
vikings jerseys
louis vuitton handbags
nike outlet store
gucci outlet
chenyingying20161017

Hua Cai said...

ferragamo shoes
nike free run
nike air force 1
nike store uk
yeezy boost 350
air jordan 11
ferragamo shoes
toms shoes
michael kors outlet
louis vuitton handbags
20161122caihuali