Friday, August 3, 2012

Appreciation Day for Croak-fil-A

"We do Dead Chicken Right!"
The Unfortunate Slogan and Logo of Croak-fil -A 

One of the least successful of America's fast food eateries is finding itself in a controversy these days, one that --- pardon the pun --- just won't seem to fly the coop! 

Since its founding in 2007,  Croak-fil-A of Kretschmer WI has stumbled in a number of marketing areas beginning with its questionable premise of focusing on the deadness of its chicken rather than its tastiness

In addition to its logo (shown above)  coupled with the catchphrase "We do Dead Chicken Right," Croak-fil-A's  menu items include: 

The Quarter Corpser
Finger Lickin' Fatal Fries,
Very Cold Wings

Sales at Croak-fil-A franchises have been flat (completely flat!) with most customers being assorted goth types and really over-the-top fans of Quentin Tarantino. 

Recently, however, Croak-fil-A got itself in even deeper trouble when its CEO, Dan Patty,  made the statement that "We're inviting God's judgment on us when we think we know better than him the shape of the planet he made.  The Bible doesn't say anything about the Earth being round!"   

"I  prefer the idea of a flat Planet Earth,"  said Mr. Patty. "If I ever have to fly to England, I'll be a lot less nauseous without having to go round any sharp curves.  Plus I can't wait to see me that waterfall at world's end,  I'm so saving up for the trip!"

Given Croak-fil-A's moribund financials, Mr. Patty's got a lot of saving to do.  A  so-called Appreciation Day for Croak-fil-A yesterday had lines at its three locations stretched one deep around the entrance way.   

Should  Mr. Patty be free to express his personal and sincerely held beliefs openly in America?

Of course.

But thinking the world is flat isn't so much a belief as a delusion, a wish that the world would be something other the way it is. Wishing the world and the people in it to be something other than the way they inherently are doesn't make them so.  

It just makes you dead wrong.   

Dead as a Croak-fil-A chicken! 



Winonah said...

Croak-fil-a should try appealing to peoples' ugly side. They could advertise that women do all the work but get paid a fraction what the male employes get. That would cut into Chick-fil-a's fan base, though.

marie bo said...

they already appeal to peoples' ugly side...the holier than thou you'll burn in hell because you do not accept jesus christ as your savior in the way we say you should...

Perry Block said...


Nope, Croak-fil-A is only into two things: 1) Celebrating the glory of the dead chicken, and 2)Hanging on to the theory that the Earth is flat, no matter what.

In their second view, they are as short-sighted as the ownership of Chick-fil-A, which apparently thinks they have some influence over whether there will be gay people in the world.

In their first view, well, it is the truth after all. The chicken IS dead!

Perry Block said...

Yeah, that "burning in hell business because you do not accept" Jesus?

I'm kind of hoping that's wrong because I burn easily!

Perry Block said...


Did you notice what I called the city where Croak-fil-a is from?