Dr. StrangeTrump or: How He Never Worries About a Damn Thing and Doesn't Need to Learn to Love the Bomb, He Loves It Already*

                       

    

          

General Turgidson:  Dr. StrangeTrump, Dr. StrangeTrump! Why do you want to start nuclear testing again?

Dr. StrangeTrump: It’s because of the Chinese and even my darling Putin. They’re trying to sap and impurify our precious bodily fluids!

What fluids, sir?  Sexual fluids?

No, my precious saliva, you idiot! How can I spit out my usual inanities, stupidities, and racist comments without saliva? There's also a thing called fluoridation of water! 

Isn't that good?

Don't you know what RFK Jr. says about fluoride when he isn't busy swilling Tylenol and otherwise ruining Cheryl Hines' reputation?

No.

It lowers everyone’s IQ. Although that won’t affect me because I’m a very high‑IQ person and staple genius. 

Isn't that stable genius?

Whatever! 

What about AOC and Jazmine Crocket?

They’re already low‑IQ people. They couldn't recognize a drawing of an elephant, which I -  not to brag - can do four out of ten times!

Now what are you doing, Dr. StrangeTrump?

I’m ordering an attack on China and on Ukraine because Zelensky doesn't like my lovely Putin.

But, Dr. StrangeTrump, the whole free world will be in ruins!

Details, details!

What are you doing now, Dr. StrangeTrump?

I’m going to hop on this warhead and ride it to glory! My twenty thousand pounds of happiness!

No, Dr. StrangeTrump, No!

I'm walking over to the warhead now.  Mein Führer, I can walk!”

Not even trying to hide your hero worship now, are you, StrangeTrump?

Nein!  I mean, nope.  I’ve got to reach the target… do you hear me? I must release the bomb! YAA-HOO!

And will you also release the Epstein Files?

Are you crazy? That would be the end of my free world!

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*The title of the actual movie is "Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb."