Friday, December 15, 2017

Presenting: Age Blindness!

It should only really exist!

"It’s the most incredible thing I’ve ever heard of, Professor Kropotkin!” said graduate student Maya Majoun.

“Yes, Maya, that’s true. We’ve all heard of color blindness and face blindness, in which someone cannot distinguish between different people’s faces. But this is wholly new!”

“Can we view the videos again, Professor?” asked Maya.

“Of course we can. Here we see a baldish overage guy with dark circles under his eyes who is completely unappealing. His name is Perry Block. Now watch this!”

Hi, umm ... May I sit next to you at the bar?”

“Of course you can!  You can buy me a drink too and talk to me for hours on end!”

“Sure. Uhhh, what can we talk about?”

“We can talk about your place or mine! Then we can do a lot more than just talk!”

“Incredible, Professor! That beautiful young girl is actually attracted to this nondescript fossil!”

“Yes, indeed, Maya!  It’s called Age Blindness. She can’t perceive his age. She thinks … get this … he’s young and attractive.”

“Thank god it’s extremely rare! Poor, poor girl! Let’s view the next video featuring Mr. Block.”

“Excuse me, miss. I’d like to check out this book.”

“And I’d like to check you out, beefcake!”

“Professor, I can’t look! That sexy librarian digs him too! Age blindness must be a horror for any woman unfortunate to be afflicted with it!”

“Absolutely, Maya! But if you want to see raw horror, wait til you see this exchange of letters we’ve discovered as part of our study.”

Dear Ms. Johansson,
I think you are a fine actress and I would like an autographed picture. I have enclosed a picture of myself so you will know what a big fan I am.
Perry Block

Dear Mr. Block,
You are so hot! I’m arranging to fly you to Hollywood where we can spend virtually every second together! I hope you find me physically attractive as well because looking at you makes me very sexually aroused!
Scarlett Johansson

 “You see, Maya, even a famous celebrity can be age blind.”

"Professor, I might puke!"

"I understand, Maya."

“Is there no hope for these women, Professor? Is there no treatment?”

“Only one. It's a long shot, but we must expose these poor afflicted ladies to another older man who could conceivably take their minds off Mr. Block.”

“Who is that?”

“George Clooney.”



Gardenlover said...

Poor girls. I can't believe you'd just leave them dangling with their naughty parts engorged and tingling.

Perry Block said...

OMG! I'm not leaving anyone dangling or anything in any way. It's age blindness. It's science-based, if I can say that. I don't know what to do with it either!