Tuesday, October 17, 2017

The Implied Thank You


From the time we are small children we are taught that the magic words are "please” and “thank you.” We are also taught that you can hardly say these words enough times in the course of a day if you are a nice person.

You have been taught LIES!

Almost every day I go into my local Wawa convenience store to buy coffee.

When I enter I hold the door for someone exiting with coffee.

“Thank you,” they say.

“You’re welcome,” I reply.

When I leave someone holds the door for me.

“Thank you,” I say.

“You’re welcome,” they reply.

If I go several times to the convenience store in the course of a day that can equal three or four “thank yous” I’ve had to muster. Not to mention the “you’re welcomes” that must inevitably follow.

What a ridiculous waste of time and energy!

Why not simply imply a "thank you” whenever the door is held for you rather than your having to verbalize it?

Wawa could post a sign in the entrance:

“ONE ‘THANK YOU’ IMPLIED PER CUSTOMER PER EXIT.”

Then you and the door holder could remain blissfully silent while gratitude and acknowledgment of same would yet be warmly and fully pulsating between you.

The only time you would have to speak is when some asshole doesn’t hold the door. Then, and only then, you would be required to move your lips, exercise your larynx, and pronounce:

“You fucking piece of shit!”

Unfortunately this can’t be implied.

But people are pretty nice. The times you’ll have to go to this extreme are few and far between.

Pretty good idea, don’t you think?  You don’t have to thank me.

Your ‘thank you’ is implied.

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6 comments:

Ellen Isaacoff said...

Speaking of saying “please” and “thank you”, it really pisses me off when you’re nice enough to let a car in in front of you and the other driver does nothing as they pull in in front. Would it kill them to give you a little “thank you wave”?

Perry Block said...

Totally agree, Ellen. This is one area where there can be no "implied thank you." There should be an implied "fuck you!"

Tracey Delaplain said...

I rely on the "fuck you" implied face. Oh, you'd know it, if I ever used it on you. It's completely different from my "you're an idiot" face.
Tracey

Perry Block said...

I know your "you're an idiot" face all too well. Let me see the other one.

Tracey Delaplain said...

I can't imagine what you could do to earn that.

Perry Block said...

Just exist, pretty much. But that's for the sentiment.