Wednesday, October 18, 2017

If We Got Orgasms from Things Other than Sex

Oh Yeah!  Oh Yeah!  That's it! 


Evolution knows what it’s doing.

Orgasms in human beings evolved so that the planet could be repopulated. If there were no such thing as the orgasm, people would find breeding about as exciting as The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, and Earth would be as barren as Mars.

The orgasm is such a good idea it’s a shame that evolution did not imbue it in other important tasks to incent people to do them as well.

Paying bills for example:

“Time to to pay the PECO, PGW, and Mastercard bills.

This first one is from the PECO.  OMG, how can it be 135 dollars for the month? Screw me, PECO! Screw me! Ohh, God, screw me every way you can!

Now you, PGW! ... Oh yeah, bill me, bill me good!  I just can't resist you!  I’m writing the check now... That's write! That's write! 

I’M CUMMING  ... TO THE MASTERCARD BILL! 

Wait a minute! What is this charge for a hot tub? And an accordion? And a vacation in France? I’ve been hacked!

OH, shit. Billius interruptus!"

On second thought, maybe orgasms for everyday endeavors isn’t such a good idea.

If mundane tasks like opening the pickle jar or making toast brought on a crushing orgasm, then who’d want to bother to have sex with all the attendant hassle involved? 

In time we'd all become extinct. 

But until then we'd sure have fun paying all the bills. 

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2 comments:

Gardenlover said...

I thought you got your orgasms by commenting on your own blog using fictious names like, Gardenlover or something lame like that. Well, I suppose a lonely old man has to take his thrills where he can find them.

Me, I get mine by commenting on total strangers bogs, logging in as Perry Block. What a hoot. You should read some of things I write posing as you.

Perry Block said...

Oh, I thought I wrote them, especially the ones in which I comment on the farm animals in Arkansas and how ... um...useful they are for so many reasons. I'm interested in animal husbandry except when I'm the husband. Anyway I'm going off now to pay bills. Anybody's bills. OMG, look how huge that bill is! Boy, that pile of bills is really stacked!