Wednesday, December 3, 2014

The Man with the Green Arm (FF)

    
Copyright Janet Webb

If some people are said to have a green thumb, Homer Fulton had nothing less than a green arm.   He could grow any kind of plant anywhere, make flowers bloom in the winter, and even grow grapefruits in Minneapolis.

When news spread about Homer's talents, he was booked on The Today Show. As he left home for New York, plants, bushes, and flowers were growing spontaneously wherever he walked. 

"Welcome to The Today Show," said Matt Lauer, as a rose bush began sprouting from the top of his head.  "To what do you attribute your amazing power?"

"Darned if I know," replied Homer, "but I wish it would stop. I'm allergic as hell to all of it!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We'll leave Homer sneezing away in this, my weekly contribution to the Friday Fictioneers based on the picture prompt above. The other Fictioneers are also blooming with ideas, but hopefully none to make you sneeze, if you click right here.

I wonder if Matt Lauer looks better with a rose bush on his head ...

38 comments:

mariegailstratford said...

Fortunately for Fictioneers with allergies, the ice in our photo prompt should stop any stray cyber pollen from tickling sensitive noses.

Great story this week, Perry. It gave me a nice chuckle.

All my best,
Marie Gail

Alicia said...

Love the idea of the rose bush growing out of Matt Lauer's head. Fun tale this week, Perry.

Perry Block said...

I didn't think of that. We need Mr. Freeze to follow Homer around. Glad you chuckled, MG.

Perry Block said...

I'll bet Matt Lauer likes it too. Thanks, Alicia.

Björn Rudberg said...

I think a rose as a hair-do would be an instant success.. but I would think that the thorns would be a little bothersome at night.

siobhanmcnamara said...

A wacky take on the prompt that I thoroughly enjoyed.
It's said that there is a fine line between a gift and a curse - that seems apt in poor Homer's case.

theencouragingscribe said...

your tales, along with Homer's flowers bloom with wild abandon. May they continue to do so :D

Dawn said...

Murphy's Law strikes again!

Perry Block said...

Probably true. About the only instance in which the thorns might be helpful would be if Al Roker suddenly and unexpectedly became amorous.

Perry Block said...

That's a really good saying for this story. Maybe I'll change the title to "A
Fine Line?" I don't have to pay you for it, do I?

Perry Block said...

That's certainly encouraging for this scribe. Thank you!

Perry Block said...

Sure does! Um ... when doesn't it?

thewritersvillage said...

Matt Lauer Flower Power...
Great imagery.
Love your zaniness, Perry.

Randy

Perry Block said...

That should have been my title! Thanks, Randy

Rochelle Wisoff-Fields said...

Dear Perry,

Now I'm stuck with this mental image of a bush growing out of Matt Lauer's head. I'll never see him quite the same way. Thank you for that.

Truly one of your funniest.

Shalom,

Rochelle

Douglas MacIlroy said...

Dear Perry,

You got me with the rose bush... Still laughing (and sneezing) here. Well done.

Aloha,

Doug

Dawn Q. said...

I love the playful tone of this one. It as like the opening of a wonderful story, and I wanted it to continue! Nice job, Perry.

siobhanmcnamara said...

You can have that fine line for free

nanclairefalkner said...

Dear Perry, I bet the Today Show cut to a sinus congestion commercial, one of their sponsors, I'm sure. Matt Lauer with a rose bush head. Wow - that would be something - then all he would need is a drink in his hand and sitting on the beach - maybe some dangling earrings too. Love your story! Nan :)

Patrick Prinsloo said...

Lovely. Someone should give him some weedkiller for Xmas. And a pair of secateurs.

Russell said...

Homer puts Rogaine to shame. I can't wait for the infomercials to start. I predict this will be more popular than Chia pets. Do you think he's related to the Jolly Green Giant?

amyreesewrites.com said...

I think Matt could use a rose bush on his head. Sure! Such a fun take, Perry. I didn't sneeze once.

Glynis Rankin said...

This was just wonderful! Thanks so much for sharing, it made me laugh on a day I needed to smile.

lizy-expat-writer said...

Thought I'd commented but it's vanished! I said I wondered how you manage a winner every time :)

Perry Block said...

Thanks, Rochelle. I'm going to start modeling one of those rose bushes myself sometime soon. You'll never see me quite the same way either.

Perry Block said...

I hope you're not really sneezing. I didn't mean for Homer to be THAT powerful!

Perry Block said...

Thanks, Dawn, but I think I was at the end of its wonderfulness.There would have been a precipitious decline in wonderfulness by the time Al Roker starting growing stuff.

Perry Block said...

I think I'm going to have you write the second half to all my stories from now on, Nan. Great job!

Perry Block said...

Patrick, I learned a new word. Thanks!

Perry Block said...

Bless you. I'll try to hand you some free stuff down the line too.

Perry Block said...

I hadn't thought about that. I've got to bottle Homer and rub him on my head. I'll just have to clip the thorns like I do toenails, and there's roses for all the ladies!

Perry Block said...

Just you wait, Amy. You will!

Perry Block said...

Homer, Matt, and I are glad we could help!

Perry Block said...

How do I manage a winner every time? You can't be reading the non-Friday Fictioneer posts to say that! But thanks anyway!

P.S. Joshi said...

Perry, Homer and Matt's rosebush beats chias all to heck. Another hilarious story. :) :) Well written as always. :) --- Susan

margirene said...

Wonderfully funny. It's a little like the King Midas syndrome, although Homer didn't bring it on himself. I really like this.

Perry Block said...

Thank you, Susan. Now I know what to get you for the holiday. A M-m-m-m-m-att!

Perry Block said...

Yeah, I guess it is like that. If I had my choice I'd go for the gold, as long as I had someone like Homer to feed me. Thanks for writing!