Sunday, November 9, 2014

Oh, Baby!

Now what could be cuter than that?

One of the lousy things about being older is that your kids are grown and gone.  And you really miss the days when they were little. 

Lately I've developed a keen interest in babies because it takes me back to the fond days when I had teeny weeny ones myself. just love it when I have the chance to enjoy other people's little ones.  Unfortunately, sometimes annoying distractions get in the way.

The other day a very attractive young blonde woman with a baby carriage almost bumped into me as she was leaving the deli and I was entering. 

"I'm so,so sorry, sir," she said sweetly. 

"No problem,"  I replied. "Say, aren't you a beautiful baby!"

"Please call me Julie."

"No, what's the baby's name?"

"Oh, it's Max."

"Hello, Max!  Aren't you a big, big boy?  Yes you are, yes you are!"

"You seem like a very caring man," she said, pushing back her luxurious blonde tresses with both hands.

"Thanks.  And how old are you Maxela, you little cute-patootie?"

"Twelve months,"  she sighed, her pouty upturned lips quivering sensually,  "He's a handful, though, especially since I'm raising him alone."

Now why do I have to know that? 

"Max, are you sleeping through the night yet?  I'll bet you are, big boy, I'll bet you are!"

"Thankfully, he is," she said, turning her incredibly shapely body fully in my direction. "It's been very rough for me since his dad left."

Bummer, I'm sure.  But I'm trying to talk to Max here!

"You have a big beautiful smile, Maxie!  And terrific blue eyes!"

"His father was just too young.  I prefer older more mature men."

Frankly,  I was beginning to get a little tired of hearing about this beautiful woman's problems. 

"Soon, Maxela, you'll be  walking, talking, getting into all kinds of trouble ..."

"I've always liked Jewish men too." 

Who the hell cares?!!

"You're in for exciting things ahead, Max Man!" 

"Me too, I hope."

Enough was enough was enough!  

"Well, miss, gotta go..."

"Please call me Julie."

"Sure, miss.   Bye, Max! I loved meeting you, Big Guy!"

"Wait, would you like to maybe have coffee?"


"I'll buy.  Dinner too!" 

Unbelievable.  Can't you admire some one's child these days without them practically wrapping their gorgeous legs around you and rubbing their ample breasts against you?

I began to walk away.  Adorable baby, but very obnoxious strikingly breathtaking mom.

"Wait, wait, please!" she shouted after me. "I love sex!"


Can anyone beat that for TMI?



Russell said...

I know exactly what you mean, Perry (and I'm not even Jewish). A middle-aged guy can't stop and admire a baby any more without a young voluptuous mother raping you with her eyes and begging for sex. What do they think we are, a sex toy?

Perry Block said...

Exactly! I'm sick of fending off their advances! This woman was practically rubbing her enormous boobs against me while I was trying to play with her cute little baby. What's wrong with these sex-crazed strikingly attractive women?