Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Gingerbread Island


Lot's Wife
Copyright: Dawn Q. Landau

Dr. Rosa Bonamie could not believe her amazing discovery --- an island in the middle of the Pacific made wholly of gingerbread, with a bit of whipped cream here and there as well!

"What a fascinating people must have once lived here!" she thought. "Did they have books, science, social media? If only I could have spoken with them."

With that she heard a guttural sound and behind a mass of whipped cream she spotted a man made of gingerbread!  He spoke:

"I am Lord Oakrum, last of the Gingerbread Men."

Dr. Bonamie rushed to his side, lifted him in the air, and swallowed him whole.

"Damn!  If only I could have controlled my love of gingerbread, I'd have learned so much instead of wiping out the entire race!"   


 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Of course, Dr. Bonamie could have limited herself to eating the buildings and the countryside if she wanted to spare the people of Gingerbread Island, but we can assume the people were probably a bit fresher and tastier than the rest of the place.  And from the picture prompt above it looks like Dr. Rosa was packing a pretty big appetite!

If you've got an appetite for some fresher and tastier flash fiction, click here and the other Friday Fictioneers will more than fill you up.

Hey, why don't we get together for some gingerbread this holiday season? Buildings and countryside only!

46 comments:

zombiesymmetry.com said...

LOL! This wins my vote as the best Friday Fictioneers entry!

God, I love gingerbread. I can totally sympathize with Dr. Bonamie here.

thewritersvillage said...

Hahahahhahahhahahahahahahahaha
i got a good belly laugh with this one.
Snap......
as in gingersnap!

Randy

Dawn Q. said...

Only you could have come up with this, Perry. What a wondrous place your creative mind is!

blogitorloseit.com said...

Omigoodness .... it DOES look like gingerbread .... !
Now THIS really did make me laugh -- good one!

Sandra Crook said...

Is there no limit to your imagination? Great take on the prompt.

lizy-expat-writer said...

Love it! A Finnish colleague at work used to make gingerbread houses for Christmas.

Rochelle Wisoff-Fields said...

Dear Perry,

Too bad Lord Oakrum didn't run, run as fast as he could. Your story is baked to perfection and proves you haven't lost your imagination.

Shalom,

Rochelle

Douglas MacIlroy said...

Dear Blogspot Man,

I laughed at your punchline and cried when I realized I'd have to leave a comment on a Blogspot Blog. But here goes....Great job with Dr. Bonamie. I loved how she had absolutely zero control. Guffaws ensued.

Aloha,

Doug

P.S. Joshi said...

Perry, Hilarious! : ) I'd guess you were hungry when you wrote this. Could Dr. Bonamie be cast out of her profession for eating inhabitants of the areas she studies? It could be she's spent too much time studying cannibals. She may have trouble getting Thanksgiving invitations from now on. : ) ---Susan

janet said...

Dr. Bon Ami really cleaned up, didn't she? :-) This was so enjoyable and now I'm too full for dinner. But zero calories!

janet

Alicia said...

So many of us say, "If only," after it is too, too late. Very funny, Gingerbread Man.

Hamish Gunn said...

A great stand against the evils of gingerbread men - a brave soul, you are sir1

love HAPPY Notes said...

Oh what fun this is. And We do gobble things up too much, without thought for the consequences. But I am getting very hungry now.

Tournesol said...

Haha, my first laugh of the day on my day off work! Well done!

Russell said...

You and I were on the same wavelength this week, Perry. I saw S'mores and you saw gingerbread, so I guess we both had food on the brain. Did she eat the rear end too? I've had several women chew on mine, but so far none of them took a real bite. :)

Caerlynn Nash said...

Oh Crumb! Poor gingerbread man. Thanks for the giggles.

Bookie said...

The doctor got her just desserts when she ate the gingerbread man! Thanks for a sweet story today.

Patrick Prinsloo said...

So funny. That Rosa woman, keep clear.

siobhanmcnamara said...

Oh dear, it's always wise to think before you eat. Easier said than done though, especially where gingerbread is concerned :)

Perry Block said...

Thank you, but if you sympathize with Dr. Bonamie, here's hoping you're in the confectionary business and not the anthropology one. Critical research ruined! But delicious.

Perry Block said...

I love all those laughs, Randy! Just be careful of that belly with all the ginger snaps. I want it to keep laughing for many years to come.

Perry Block said...

The sewer is a wondrous place? Thanks, Dawn.

Perry Block said...

Frankly I couldn't see it as anything else, although the whipped cream swirls do leave something to be desired. Thank you!

Perry Block said...

There is no limit, but there is a quota. When the quota is reached, we'll have to smuggle my imagination in! Thanks, Sandra!

Björn Rudberg said...

Ah... and even worse.. gingerbread mildew of old gingerbread men is lethal..

amyreesewrites.com said...

Whoopsie! Ha ha! I wanted to go there, Perry! Darn it! It was always my dream to go to Gingerbread Island, and now, I see it's been wiped out. Oh, nooooo! l'm going to treat myself to some whip cream now to feel better!

Perry Block said...

Russell, I've heard the several women who chewed on yours only did so because everything else for miles around was eaten and even then they needed cocktail sauce. If you're looking for a real bite, try an alligator. Oh, and have a bit of Lord Oakrum on me!

Perry Block said...

Quick, tell her to cook up some live Gingerbread men for us to chow down on!

Perry Block said...

It wouldn't have mattered. He'd have been eaten by the fox anyway. And I actually baked the story for 8 minutes too long.

Perry Block said...

Doug, I actually don't like Blogspot either and i know it somehow kills certain comments (hopefully mostly the negative ones). But it's where I started and I really like the look of the blog now, including the cartoon, and after all nobody much reads it anyway, so why switch? Dr. Bonamie thanks you for recognizing her lack of self control but she's too busy eating to write to you.

Perry Block said...

I think her report back to the University will omit some details, like how long the Gingerbread tribe has been extinct. And yes some folks to whose homes she's been invited for Thanksgiving have turned up missing, so it is likely she may have to hit the island for a meal come the last week of November. And you're right, I am hungry!

Perry Block said...

Janet,
No, lotsa calories. But you can afford it!

Perry Block said...

Oh, who can make a sunrise, sprinkle it with .... oh, sorry, that's the Candyman. My bad.

Perry Block said...

It's a tough job, but somebody has to eat them!

Perry Block said...

I got some gingerbread here for us, but remember --- only houses and countrysides!

Perry Block said...

Keep it here on all of your days off!

Perry Block said...

I feel sorry for him too, putting his trust in Dr. Bonamie and then he is no more. Now, if only we could find his children and eat them!

Perry Block said...

Two puns in that small number of words absolutely deserves extra credit. I'll see if I can scare up some gingerbread for you.

Perry Block said...

Thanks, Patrick. But she's right behind you now!!!!

Perry Block said...

Gingerbread is kind of addicting, but it would take a Rosa size appetite to wipe out a species. Hope she's at least full now!

Perry Block said...

Fortunately with Rosa we never had any old gingerbread men.

Perry Block said...

Well, the land and buildings and whipped cream are still there and who knows, you may run across a gingerbread chicken. Can't be bad.

nanclairefalkner said...

Dear Perry, you and Russell think alike! Good story and funny as is Russell's. Very entertaining and too bad she ate before asking questions.

Nan :)

Perry Block said...

Thanks, Nan! But which story made you hungrier?

wmqcolby said...

Since i was born on December 21, my mom always made gingerbread boys. It's my favorite cookie --- more than chocolate chip. Point me to that island, Perry!

greenwalledtower said...

Extinction of a whole species was never so delicious. I can see why he was the last one. :) Sounds like a delicious place to be. Now I really want some gingerbread.