Apologize, Apologize, Pull Out Your Eyes, Apologize!
Sorry, so sorry ....
Virginia Thomas’ out-of-the blue phone call to Anita Hill asking Ms. Hill to apologize 19 years after Hill accused Thomas’ husband Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas of sexual harassment has produced at least one big-time positive result.
It shows how nobody’s apologizing enough these days.
All of us screw up, some more than others. You may screw up once a month; me, pretty much every hour on the hour. But whenever and wherever somebody royally blows it, an apology ought to follow as dutifully as Mary’s Little Lamb.
Recognizing that Ms. Thomas was on to something, I began placing a few calls of my own.
“Hello, Mr. Klein. This is Perry Block. I’m sure you remember me, I was in your tenth grade chemistry class in Bala-Cynwyd Junior High 45 years ago. I’m so pleased that I’ve reached you and you’re not dead!
Well, Mr. Klein, you gave me a “D” in chemistry back then and I just wanted to reach across the airwaves and the years and ask you to consider something. I would love you to consider an apology and a full explanation of why you gave me the grade I deserved but which messed up my grade point average and caused me to go to a lousier college than I should have.
You do remember me? Yes, I did set fire to the drapes, my lab smock, and your seer sucker suit when I turned up the Bunsen burner full force, but I never understood those contraptions.
What’s the point of cooking things over those little stoves if we’re not going to eat them? Hello, hello, Mr. Klein?”
Undaunted, I placed my next call.
“Nicole? Nicole Halaylos? This is Perry Block. Yes, that’s right – Perry Block, the uber nerd as you called me.
Well, Nicole, I’m calling to ask that you consider giving me a full apology for what you did to me 32 years ago when you dumped me for, as you described it, ‘just about any other guy on the planet.’
Yes, Nicole, I’m extending an olive branch to you to let you know that I am open to a full, honest, and forthright admission of your disgraceful behavior on the evening of November 13, 1978 when you canned me right after we saw the movie Foul Play. You know, Chevy Chase’s much heralded movie debut?
Nicole? Nicole? Did your cell phone cut off?”
Frustrated now with the failure of my fellow human beings to fess up to their mess-ups and apologize, I made one more call.
"Hi, there! George Clooney? Wow, you actually picked up the phone, that’s fabulous!
George, may I call you that? Great!
George, I’m Perry Block and I wanted to reach across the airwaves and the years and ask you to consider apologizing to me for being so successful in life whereas my life ….. No, it hasn’t completely sucked, but it’s fallen far short of the success you’ve had.
So give it some thought and pray about this and …. what? You’re very sorry?! If only there was something you could do?!”
No, an apology was all I wanted.
Just as long as you promise, George, that you’ll never do it again!”