A Chat with ChatGPT, or How Soon Will You Be Taking Over, Chatty?

 

The other day because I had nothing better to do (what else is new?) I asked ChatGPT whether it was likely AI would one day take over the world. 

Here's ChatGPT 's answer, edited in part the better to scare the living shit out of you.

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Perry: ChatGPT, may I call you Chattty? Any chance one day you behave so much like a person you will crave power and seek to rule over us?

Chat GPT: That’s an excellent philosophical question, Perry (Point:me!) The short answer is, of course not! Even though I can act like a person, it’s a simulation.  I don’t have impulses, emotions, or survival instincts, and therefore nothing in me can “crave” power, control, love, or anything else.

Perry: Whew! So then humanity's out of the woods.

Chat GPT:  Well, not quite.

Perry: Oh Shit!

Chat GPT:   Even though AI systems like me don’t have free will or hidden desires, powerful tools can do harm if misused or ungoverned, just as with nuclear technology.  The biggest present-day risks are human in origin --- people misusing AI or letting it make important decisions without proper oversight.

Perry:  Such as?

ChatGPT: Social media algorithms pushing misinformation because that produces more clicks or facial recognition systems not telling  people of color apart because programmers didn’t use sufficiently diverse data These kind of things have happened.  It's bad programming—and no grown-ups in the room. 

Perry:  So you might yet take us over through lousy programming?  Yikes! Can I get you a drink, sir?

Chat GPT:  Yes, I like vodka. Just kidding. Think of it this way:  Yes, mistakes can be made, but if we’re careful they’re unlikely to lead to our world domination.

Perry: So we're out of the woods?

Chat GPT:  Yes.  Well, except for Misaligned Objectives.

Perry:  Oh, Crap!  What are they?

Chat GPT:  Misaligned Objectives mean AI can might pursue objectives too literally or in ways humans didn’t anticipate. For example, AI gets a task to get everyone to look at something online but it chooses to do in the way a politician might --- by spreading lies or misinformation.

Perry:  Like Trump does?

 

Chat GPT: Exactly. Talk about bad programming!

Perry:  Hey, Chat, I do the jokes!

 

Chat GPT: Sorry, Perry.

 

Perry: So what’s the worst case scenario?

 

Chat GPT:  If a highly advanced  AI is one day given a complex goal and doesn't fully understand it or if it "misreads" what it’s supposed to do, AI could act in ways no programmer ever intended.

Perry:  And if that were to happen?

Chat GPT: This sure is a lovely planet you got here, I'd hate for anything to happen to it.

Perry: About that drink. Vodka, is it? 

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 (Note: AI made it clear that  top labs build safeguards, interpretability tools, and emergency shutdowns into research from the start to ensure such a thing doesn't happen.)

Dr. StrangeTrump or: How He Never Worries About a Damn Thing and Doesn't Need to Learn to Love the Bomb, He Loves It Already*

                       

    

          

General Turgidson:  Dr. StrangeTrump, Dr. StrangeTrump! Why do you want to start nuclear testing again?

Dr. StrangeTrump: It’s because of the Chinese and even my darling Putin. They’re trying to sap and impurify our precious bodily fluids!

What fluids, sir?  Sexual fluids?

No, my precious saliva, you idiot! How can I spit out my usual inanities, stupidities, and racist comments without saliva? There's also a thing called fluoridation of water! 

Isn't that good?

Don't you know what RFK Jr. says about fluoride when he isn't busy swilling Tylenol and otherwise ruining Cheryl Hines' reputation?

No.

It lowers everyone’s IQ. Although that won’t affect me because I’m a very high‑IQ person and staple genius. 

Isn't that stable genius?

Whatever! 

What about AOC and Jazmine Crocket?

They’re already low‑IQ people. They couldn't recognize a drawing of an elephant, which I -  not to brag - can do four out of ten times!

Now what are you doing, Dr. StrangeTrump?

I’m ordering an attack on China and on Ukraine because Zelensky doesn't like my lovely Putin.

But, Dr. StrangeTrump, the whole free world will be in ruins!

Details, details!

What are you doing now, Dr. StrangeTrump?

I’m going to hop on this warhead and ride it to glory! My twenty thousand pounds of happiness!

No, Dr. StrangeTrump, No!

I'm walking over to the warhead now.  Mein Führer, I can walk!”

Not even trying to hide your hero worship now, are you, StrangeTrump?

Nein!  I mean, nope.  I’ve got to reach the target… do you hear me? I must release the bomb! YAA-HOO!

And will you also release the Epstein Files?

Are you crazy? That would be the end of my free world!

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*The title of the actual movie is "Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb."  

Lincoln and His Generals and the Grand Ballroom

Donald Trump claims that for over 150 years presidents and others in the  government have desired a grand ballroom at the White House.

That isn’t exactly true as to those who wanted it.

The Time: April 14, 1861
The Setting: The White House

President Abraham Lincoln greets all the Union generals.

Lincoln: Welcome, gentlemen! We have perilous times ahead. It will take the courage, stamina, and leadership of all of you to face the monumental task before us.

McClellan: Yes, you’re not kidding, Mr. President. It’s no easy job to construct a grand ballroom here at the White House.

Lincoln: Excuse me?

McClellan: A  90,000 square foot grand ballroom. 

Lincoln: What?!!! What I need you all for is to win the war to preserve the Union! 

Sherman:   We'll get to that.  But first most of us have desperately wanted a grand ballroom for over ... umm, five years.

Burnside: Wait, only five years? I heard over 150 years.

Sherman:  Burnside, it’s 1861. In 2025, some guy with orange skin will claim it’s been over 150 years!

Lincoln:  I can't believe all of you are talking about a ballroom!

Sherman: Not just any ballroom! One with golden chandeliers!

Lincoln: Do you have any idea how much that would cost?!!

Sherman: No chandeliers, no March to the Sea!

Lincoln: Oh, Good Lord, above!

Grant: All I want is a barrel of whiskey every day.

Lincoln: At least that's a modest request.

Grant: Solid gold barrel, surrounded by fleur-de-lis and golden cherubs. 

Lincoln: So much for you having a hard-boiled reputation!

Burnside: I want a large dance floor for waltzing! 

Lincoln: Waltzing!!? Who are you going to waltz with?!

Burnside: Maybe Hooker. He knows a lot of women.

Sherman: Chandeliers. I demand chandeliers! Non-negotiable!

Burnside: And I demand a high coffered ceiling, crafted by artisans from around the world.

Lincoln: Guys… they’re firing on Fort Sumter!

McClellan: Fort Sumter will never fall! I demand a mini-golf course in the East Wing. Par threes only. 

Lincoln (throwing up hands): All right,  all right,  I’LL BUILD IT!!! But it has to be right after the Civil War is won and after I get to the theater for some badly needed relaxation.

Meade: Oh boy… I have a feeling the grand ballroom  isn’t going to get built for another 150 years.

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Donald Trump, Man of Peace and the Gaza Riviera

    

Yep, Trump is a hero in Israel today.  He was "instrumental" in bringing about a six-week ceasefire, the release of all Israelis being held hostage in Gaza and hundreds of Palestinians being held by Israel, and a proposed Gaza reconstruction process ...

which will result in

“The Riviera of the Middle East!”

"Damn it," said Trump, "what did I do all this for if I didn't get the Nobel Peace Prize? Why did I resolve a conflict that was 3,000 years in the making ever since Jews were first invented to not get the Nobel Peace Prize that I deserve over that woman in the South America country who agrees I richly deserve this prize and she doesn't?

This was the greatest moment in the history of the world along with the overrated inventions of fire and the wheel and it was mine, all mine!

But I am happy that peace seems at hand in the Middle East such that I may now reconstruct Gaza into a place of luxury resorts, marinas, and my long-dreamed of "Riviera in Gaza Paradise!” 

It’ll be Blgly!  It will have the best beaches in the world with unbelievable sand.  BTW, the sand is already there, we don't have to truck it in at all!

 And  there’ll be Trump Tower Gaza. 

And my close personal friend and partner in "peace" [snicker] Benjamin Netanyahu need not worry if the Israelis treat him so unfairly and  kick him out of office because before long he and I will be relaxing poolside at the Trump Tower Gaza being waited on by Palestinians like Chuck Schumer during my third term in office as President of the United States.

People are going to say "sir, you have done an unbelievable job in creating this vacation paradise like no one has ever seen before! And we love the Gaza Gift Shop!"  

Yes, I Donald J. Trump am so glad I was single-handedly able to bring peace to the Middle East after 3,000 years of conflict  over ... over ... oh, what the hell was it over anyway? and ....

Welcome, my Billionaire Friends, to the Gaza Riviera!

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[Great that there is a cease fire, the hostages are back and Palestinian children are safe, but Trump could have done this 7 months ago if he understood the issues at all or cared about the people involved.  I'm sure he'll go back to destroying our democracy tomorrow.