Note: That's not me. I look much YOUNGER!
When did I first come to realize that the moon was
over the mountain at least as far as my working career?
I was being interviewed for a job at the tender age of
57 or 58 because the Company I had worked for over a number of years had moved
out of the area.
“I’m Bob French,” said the interviewer. “Nice to meet
you, Perry.”
Friendly enough dude and the interview seemed to be
going well. Then I asked a question to
display my interest in the company.
“Tell me about your management team, Bob," I asked.
“Oh, yes, good question, Perry!” said Bob.
It’s always nice when someone says you’ve asked a good
question. Much better than being told “the answer to that question is
self-evident and you’re an idiot.”
Not that that’s ever happened to me.
“Well, Perry,” said
Bob, “We have a good strong YOUNG management team.”
Excuse me?
What?
Did he actually say that they have a good strong YOUNG
management team?
Most executives doing interviews these days are
trained to avoid mentioning age, and most likely Mr. Johnson was so trained as
well. But apparently he just hadn’t made the leap from not asking about age to
expressing a preference for youthful over alta cocker vintage, not that Bob
would know what an alta cocker is.
“We have a good strong YOUNG CFO named George
Strapling,” Bob went on.
He’s two for two, I thought.
“And our new sales VP, Ralph Barkley is a good strong YOUNG
marketing guy from Kropotkin and company.”
Three YOUNGs in a row!
I wonder if they have milk and
cookies and naptime here too.
"And we’re just bringing in a new good strong president,
George Marchese,” Bob continued.
At last, I thought!
Bob has either caught on to today’s prevailing
business wisdom or George Marchese’s age is lofty enough that he can join AARP
without having to show ID.
“It’s hard to
believe how much George has achieved at his prior jobs as YOUNG as he is,” raved Bob.
I should never have doubted Bob’s proclivity for blithely
making wrongheaded and illegal statements.
From there on in, the interview progressed OK, although
I made sure to refrain from making references to the Truman Administration.
"Would you like something to drink, Perry?” asked Bob.
“We have a good strong YOUNG vending machine in the lobby with good strong
YOUNG snacks and of course, good strong YOUNG Coca-Cola.”
I made up that part.
I asked one more question before leaving, bracing
myself for the answer.
“Can you tell me how old the company is, Bob?”
“Sure, Perry.
It’s two year old.”
Of course. The answer to that question was self-evident and you’re an idiot, Perry.
At least Bob didn’t say “two years YOUNG.”
I didn’t get the job, of course, but Mr. French’s transgressions
were safe with me.
I’m not the suing type.
After all I’m not a good strong YOUNG applicant and frankly,
I just don’t have the strength for it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
If you liked this post, you'll like my book Perry Block - Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute. If you hated this post, you'll LOVE my book Perry Block - Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute.
Why? That's just the way it works.
3 comments:
This is funny, but also quite sad since age discrimination does exist, but at the same time, some companies are so desperate by the lack of work ethic and cluelessness expressed by many Millenials, that they actually have a preference for mature workers. If you want to see something funny on these lines, check the video on YouTube called "I'll ask Siri." The older interviewer and the millennial job seeker are both fabulous.
I'll take a look. This happened but of course it's very exaggerated for comedy effect. I hope there are some good things coming for alta cocker workers.
They didn't deserve you anyway, Perry. They were probably wanting to be profitable. My employer told me my firing was part of their new Financial Fitness program. In other words, they didn't need us old farts who drew a decent salary when we could be replaced with young whipersnappers for half the money. Over half the people they fired (about 400) were over 50.
At least you got a good story out of the experience.
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