Thursday, April 16, 2015

How PCs Changed My Life

As is the case with many of you, PCs changed my life. 

Back in the day when I was in college, there was always someone around --- a friend, acquaintance, or someone's girlfriend --- who would be wont to say something like:

"Oh, I always wait before the night a term paper is due to start it.  Doesn't matter if it has to be 30 pages or more.  Drafts?  Nah, I can always type a paper straight out.  I usually get an A too." 

I would contrast this statement with my experience of writing a term paper, which required more drafts than you'd find in a Bavarian Beer hall during Oktoberfest. Banging away at my manual typewriter with invariably sticking keys, I'd produce a free-form first draft that unleashed half-baked ideas written in third grade language swirling from page to page like drunken sailors.

The second draft would assemble the more credible of the ideas into presentable but ungainly order and raise the level of writing to middle school remedial, and the third would laboriously finally give rise to hopefully coherent college-level content plus overly flowery opening, closing, and padding where needed, relevant, and warranted. 

But that still wasn't all. Draft Three could never be submitted for your approval until graced with extensive handwritten adjustments, insertions, cross-outs, and arrows until it came to more closely resemble a bowling scorecard than a term paper. 

Done! Usually five minutes before due.

But then PCs were invented.  Though too late for college and more than a bit beyond, writing at long last became enjoyable, relatively quick, and Oktoberfest-free.

And so it was at a college reunion a few years ago, I ran into one of those people who once so bedeviled me with their professions of term paper prowess.

"I remember you," I said. "You were George's roommate."

"Yes, I'm Jack."

"I remember you were always a very fast writer. Once I heard you say you could write a 30 page term paper in one night."

"Yes, I did have that skill."

"Well, Jack, now with PC's, I'm a really fast writer too.  I venture to say I'm probably ... um ... almost as fast as you are."

"Well, that may be true," said Jack, "if you can check your substantial holdings in the market, play Rise of Empires at the championship level, and write a detailed 30 page legal brief the night before it is due."

Yes, PCs did change my life. 

But damn it, not enough!



Glynn said...

In college, I wrote a paper overnight on the Gothic cathderal -- due the next day. A bottle of Tokay wine helped. Aced it.

Perry Block said...

Well, the wine must have made all the difference!

Russell said...

I was born a poor black orphan with four thumbs and two middle finger, both fixed in the fully extended position. It normally takes me at least two hours to write the word shit because I argue with myself about the correct sequence of the letters and if the correct spelling has one t or two. By the way, what the hell is a PC?

thewritersvillage said...

I didn't know Jack in college and I don't know Jack now - all puns intended.
In fact, I really don't want to know Jack.
But I can guess, though, as to what his last name is: in Yiddish, it's tuchas.
Hee haw.

thewritersvillage said...

Hey Perry,
If I've proven I'm not a robot before, why do I have to keep proving it?.
This repetitiveness feels very robotic.
Can you help?
When you respond, please verify which signs match the one that is a universal sign of frustration....

Perry Block said...

Amazing! I'm a poor black orphan too. (This shit we're typing on is a PC.)

Perry Block said...

"Jack Tuchas?" I've got to spend some time with that one. Thanks, Randy!

Perry Block said...

I do not want that feature and I don't how to get rid of it. You are always welcome, Randy, even if you are a robot. My technical staff is working on it ...

RozWarren said...

I AM a robot. So sue me.

Perry Block said...

I do not want that feature on my blog! People are negatively inclined enough to comment as it is. Anyway, folks, if anyone is reading this:

Don't miss OUR BODIES, OUR SHELVES: A COLLECTION OF LIBRARY HUMOR written by the great Roz Warren, the author of this comment. What an incredible coincidence! Remember when Clarence told George that Mary "was about to close up the library!" with horror in his voice? Well, here's why. Just click:

Russell said...

I knew we had to be related. I always wanted an older, Jewish brother.

chenlili said...

fitflop sandals
oakley sunglasses
kate spade handbags
christian louboutin outlet
adidas originals shoes
adidas outlet store
ray ban sunglasses
louis vuitton outlet stores
oakley sunglasses
coach factory outlet
michael kors outlet
kate spade
louis vuitton
toms wedges
cheap toms
cheap oakley sunglasses
adidas nmd
ralph lauren outlet
true religion outlet
michael kors handbags
coach factory outlet
tory burch outlet online
true religion outlet
supra shoes
coach outlet clearance
montblanc pens
replica rolex watches
insanity workout
fit flops
nfl jerseys wholesale
air max
vans sneakers
giuseppe zanotti outlet
michael kors outlet
oakley canada

千禧 Xu said...

pandora jewelry
omega watches for sale
mont blanc pens outlet
gucci bags
supra shoes
nhl jerseys
cheap ray ban sunglasses
nike trainers
michael kors handbags

Gege Dai said...

michael kors outlet clearance
soccer jerseys
air max 90
louis vuitton outlet
cheap ray bans
ecco outlet
louis vuitton outlet
juicy couture outlet
ray ban sunglasses
ralph lauren polo

Anne Lin said...

Our Green Bay Packers Banner measures a huge 2x8 feet, is constructed of thick weather resistant nylon, and is embroidered with the Green Bay Packers NFL team logo as shown. Our Green Bay Packers Banner includes ten (10) reinforced metal grommets around the perimeter for easy hanging at your next tailgate party, in your sports room, or as an interior or exterior "gameday" house flags
nfl flags wholesaleDallas Cowboys house flags
cheap Denver Broncos house flags

Gege Dai said...

nike outlet online
rolex uk
nike trainers uk
tory burch outlet online
cartier watches for women
ray ban sunglasses wholesale
coach outlet
rolex orologi
gucci borse
mont blanc pens