Monday, February 13, 2012

A Sage Suggestion for Saget

I've never particularly been a fan of the comedian Bob Saget.

Even though he comes from near where I live, I never quite bought into the all American guy-next-door humor he used to  personify on Full House or as the host of America's Funniest Home Videos.   In recent years, of course,  he's sought to dramatically change his image into that of a "blue" comedian. 

Blue? This guy's so blue the sky is considering infringement litigation.   Blue?  He's so blue that ... well, let's just watch him in action at a morning meeting with his writers just the other day:

Saget:  Morning, Ted.  Morning, Janie.
Ted:  Hi, Bob.  Afraid I’m a bit tired this morning.   I was up  all night with my mother, who’s quite ill.
Bob: Sorry, Ted.  Best of luck with that.  How are you, Janie?
Janie:  Doin’ great, Bob. Thanks.
Saget:  Well, guys, I really like this new line you came up with.  Very funny!
Janie:  Thank you, Bob.  I’d like to hear how you do it.
Saget:  Sure thing.   Here goes:  “F*ck, F*ck, F*ck, F*ck, F*ck.”
Janie and Ted: Ha, ha, ha, ha!  
Saget:  What do you think though?   Is it better this way:  F*ck, F*ck, F*ck, F*ck, F*ck?”   Or this way: “F*ck, F*ck, F*ck, F*ck, F*ck?”  
Ted:  I think  “F*ck, F*ck, F*ck, F*ck, F*ck”  resonates more.  You,  Janie?  
Janie:  Oh, no question!   It’s “F*ck, F*ck, F*ck, F*ck, F*ck”  all the way!
Saget:  Good, that’s settled. Now I’ve got a new bit to run past you guys.   It’s about how whenever you're in the supermarket & you're in a hurryyou always seem to wind up in the slowest checkout line!
Janie:  Yeah, isn't that the darnedest thing?

Ted:  Really slick concept, Bob!  Let’s hear it!
Saget“F*ck, F*ck, F*ck, F*ck, F*ck!”
Janie:  Ha, ha, ha, ha!  Hilarious! 

Ted:  I love it, Bob!  But isn't a bit too much like the line you used to do about how whenever you're in the car and you're in a hurry, you always seem to wind up behind a slow driver in a hat! 
Saget:  What line was that?
Ted:  Oh, y’know:   “F*ck, F*ck, F*ck, F*ck,  F*ck!”
Saget:   Forgot that one.  Nah, nobody'll notice a thing.  Now, you guys got anything new for the meeting tomorrow?
Ted:  Yes, Bob, I'm working on a bit  about how whenever  you're in a store waiting for customer service,  you always seem to  wind up behind a guy who's returning bedding! Here’s a taste:  “F*ck, F*ck, F*ck,  F*ck, F*ck!”
Saget Ha, ha, ha, ha!  You got anything for tomorrow, Janie?
Janie:   I’m working on a bit about the Olson Twins.   Goes like this:  “F*c..."
Saget:  No, no, that one can wait!    Okay, that's it for now.  Ted, I do hope your mom will be okay.
Ted: Thank you, Bob.
Saget:  Oh, and guys?
Janie:  Yes, Bob?
Saget: F*ck, F*ck, F*ck, F*ck, F*ck!
Janie and Ted: Ha, ha, ha, ha!  Bob, you kill us!

It may be hubris on my part,  but nevertheless here’s my sage suggestion for Saget:
Image change has its virtues, but not change for the purpose of spouting low-rent unfunny material that's dirty just for the sake of being dirty.  True, George Carlin successfully changed careers mid-stream, but  he transformed himself into who he was, not who he thought it was cool to be.
It would behoove you to develop an intelligent observational approach to comedy that provokes thought along with laughter rather than cheap laughs based on four letter words.  
And,  Mr. Saget?
F*ck, F*ck, F*ck, F*ck, F*ck, you fucking moron!


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