The Ballad of the One Lonely Sock

 

I don’t know what’s happening.

For the first time in my life, I’m all alone.

And the Big Creature has ahold of me!

I am a sock, one of two that have always been together. I am Fred. He’s Bobby. He looks like me and we’re somewhat alike, but he has no sense of humor. Just try to joke with him:

“Hey, Bobby, why is the Sock Drawer like the Strait of Hormuz

Because it’s closed, then opened, closed, then opened, closed …

Nothing, nada.”

But I love him. Where, oh where, is he?

When the Big Creature took me out of the Thrill Ride, the one that goes round and round and blows hot air on you, he made an odd “face,” as it’s called, and looked back inside, then all around everywhere else.

No Bobby.

Without Bobby, what would the Big Creature do to me?

Throw me into that Mysterious Round Bin to be devoured by discarded paper towels, rotten tomatoes, and toilet paper wrapped around dead disgusting bugs?

True, I have a little hole in my toe area, but it’s hardly disabling. I’m still young. I’m still healthy. I can soldier on if I get the chance.

I’ve got four words for you, Big Creature:

“KNIT ME, YOU FOOL!”

Now the Big Creature has thrown me in the Traveling Basket, and I’m face to face with those horrible big black jeans with the creepy-crawly multiple legs that scare the shit out of me!

Bobby was the brave one. I pass out at the sight of Clorox.

“Hi, Mr. Black Jeans! Lovely zipper you got there, all bright and shiny. Y’know, I’ve always been an admirer of the color black; some of my best friends are black socks.”

We’re close to the Sock Drawer now.

Safe at last!

But without Bobby.

The Big Creature is hoisting me up and pulling out another sock from the drawer.

Who … who is that?

“Hi, I’m Monique. I recently lost my partner. Nice to meet you.”

OMG! A female! And a hot one at that.

“I’m Fred. Nice to meet you too. I lost mine as well. I love your navy blue color.”

“And I’ve always loved plaid. Since we are both suddenly single, I guess the Big Creature wants us to be new partners.”

And now the Big Creature is folding us up together!

Well, this isn’t so bad.

But how long will this last?``

I guess until one day when one of us gets lost.

And goes to live with Bobby.

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