Characters:
Attorney
Hochberg
Attorney
Wallace
Mr.
Phillips
Voice of Receptionist
Voice
of Mr. Brackish
A lawyer's office somewhere
in the heart of New York City. Two lawyers are sitting around a table in a
conference room, numerous papers on the table in front of them.
Mr. Hochberg
I'm so pleased at how swimmingly
our negotiations have progressed on the 35-million-dollar merger between our
two companies, Amanda. All the areas of merger are fleshed out and agreed upon
except the valuation of the Little Rock plant.
Ms. Wallace
So true, Jack, it's been a
pleasure working with you. We've hammered out the tax, human resources, and
environmental responsibilities in near record time. As soon as the real
property appraiser Mr. Phillips gets here, we can nail down our Little Rock issue
and we're done.
Mr. Hochberg
Good enough. And we're also
waiting for a call from our CEO Mr. Brackish to confirm our understandings and
we can button the whole thing up.
Ms. Wallace opens a small
package of crackers and puts one in her mouth. Mr. Hochberg's eyes light up. He
falls to his knees and walks on his hands and knees over to where Attorney
Wallace is sitting.
Mr. Hochberg
Ooooohhhh! May I have some? May
I have some crackers, Attorney Wallace?
Ms. Wallace
No, Attorney Hochberg, these are
my crackers! They're not for you.
Mr. Hochberg
But I want some! They
look so yummy! I haven't eaten since I begged some of the Receptionist's Oreo
Cookies ten minutes ago on my way in here!
Ms. Wallace
But these are not Attorney
Hochberg's crackers, they're Attorney Wallace’s crackers!
Mr. Hochberg
(whining) Oh, all right. Could
have some later, puh-lese?
Ms. Wallace
No! Now go back to your seat.
Mr. Hochberg returns to his
seat on his hands and knees, sits in his chair, and regains his composure.
Mr. Hochberg
Now, I don’t think our meeting
with the appraiser will take long. He comes highly recommended so I doubt we’ll
have many questions about his appraisal.
Ms. Wallace
I agree. Our firm has used him
many times before and I’ve always heard his work was right on the money.
Receptionist (over the intercom)
Mr. Hochberg, Ms. Wallace, Mr.
Phillips the Appraiser is here.
Mr. Hochberg
Ask him to come in, please.
Mr. Phillips enters.
Ms. Wallace
Welcome, Mr. Phillips. I'm
Attorney Wallace and this is Attorney Hochberg.
Mr. Phillips enters and
shakes hands with both of them.
Mr. Phillips
Pleased to meet you, Mr.
Hochberg.
Mr. Hochberg
Same here, Mr. Phillips,
Mr. Phillips
Ms. Wallace.
Ms. Wallace
Nice to meet you, Mr. Phillips
Mr. Phillips goes to his seat
and produces a bagel from his briefcase.
Mr. Phillips
I hope you two don't mind. I was
hungry so I bought myself a bagel (begins eating)
Mr. Hochberg and Ms. Wallace
both perk up, get on their hands and knees and walk over to Mr. Phillips.
Ms. Wallace
Please, Mr. Phillips, I love
bagels! May I have some? I'm so hungry!
Mr. Hochberg
And me too, Mr. Phillips. I want
a bagel! Please, please, please! Just a bite, one bite, one little bite!
Mr. Phillips
No, Attorney Wallace! I said no,
Attorney Hochberg. This is my bagel, not yours. This is Appraiser food, not
Attorney food!
Ms. Wallace
I promise I'll get our firm to
hire you again, many more times!
Mr. Hochberg
And I’ll roll over and play
dead!
Mr. Phillips
I said no! You two have to learn
not to beg at the conference table!
Mr. Hochberg & Ms. Wallace
Oh, all right.
Both return on their hands
and knees to their seats.
Ms. Wallace
Now, Mr. Phillips, to the matter
of the appraisal of the Little Rock building, equipment, inventory, and real
property.
Mr. Phillips
Yes, I've been to Little Rock
and carefully ...
Receptionist
Mr. Brackish is on the phone.
Mr. Hochberg
Put him on the speaker please.
Mr. Brackish
Good morning, Amanda and Jack! Is Mr. Phillips with you too?
Mr. Wallace
Hello, Mr. Brackish. Yes, he’s
here and we're proud to say the deal is almost all set except for the signing.
Mr. Brackish
Wonderful! As a celebration, I'm
taking all three of you to lunch this afternoon.
Mr. Hochberg and Mr. Phillips
perk up.
Mr. Hochberg
Where did you have in mind, sir?
Mr. Brackish
How would you three like the
thickest juiciest steak in town at Morton's?
Mr. Hochberg and Mr. Phillips
fall to their hands and knees and race for the door.
Mr. Hochberg
Me, me, me, me! Can't wait to
have steak!
Mr. Phillips
Big steak, juicy steak, medium
rare, gotta have it!
Ms. Wallace
Know what, guys? I think I just
evolved. I'm going to skip lunch and get this deal done.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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