Rejection's Like That

There’s but one thing in all the world that links every last one of us. Even people as different as you, me, and the unemployed guy who used to be Vice President in Charge of Morale at NBC.

All of us hate rejection! And that applies every bit as much to the inestimable Rejecter as it does to the lowly Rejectee.

Frankly I don’t know how professional Human Resources recruiters handle the rejection --- that is, the dishing out of it. A regular part of their regular grind is telling job-longing folk a longed-for job will not become a regular part of their regular grind. Think how bad you’re feeling right now for rejecting me just for that ridiculous and annoying last sentence! 

As a a former HR professional who has handled recruitment matters, I have always anguished over how to tell unsuspecting applicants the vote on their employable worth has been multiple thumbs down. As someone who is not exactly a bastion of personal security myself, I’ll put myself through sheer living hell to avoid putting anyone else through modestly living heck!

“So what did you do with the guy you interviewed last week you said was all wrong for the job,” asked my colleague Bruce. “Get back to him?”

Of course I did! I haven’t pulled the old “no call back” trick since I broke up with my barber in 1982 after he neatly trimmed off half my ear, but at least then evened the other with it.

Yes, I might have just sent the standard letter/e-mail:

“While we were very impressed with your qualifications, we are seeking someone whose specific experience more closely comports with the requirements of the position.”

But every job seeker on the planet knows that this letter, as translated from the original Sanskrit, means “take a hike, loser --- if possible, on an unmarked boulder-strewn trail abutting a deep and gaping natural chasm!"

"We're keeping your resume on file for future opportunities."

the letter often reassuringly continues.  Actually "we're keeping your resume on file for laughs" is how the original Sanskrit actually translates.

So, I made the personal phone call. Nervously, tentatively, I made the call.

 “George, this is Perry Block! How are you?”

“Oh, Hi, Mr. Block!” It was unmistakable – that sound of positive anticipation in his voice. Eliciting that sound of very negative anticipation in mine.

“George, I called to say that ... umm ...we are very impressed with your qualifications ... but, uh, we are seeking someone, uhhh .....”

No, I didn’t exactly get the message across to George. I’ll have to do that tonight at dinner just after the movie.  Probably Avatar.

God, I hate rejection!

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