Today is a special day!
That is, virtually every day on the calendar is a special day.
Each one celebrates some aspect of our everyday lives, and I’m out to honor as many of them as I can.
· On National Asparagus Day, I ate Asparagus.
· On National Cheese Day, I fairly well induced vomiting, as I famously hate cheese.
· On National Floss Day, I broke tradition and flossed.
And July 14 is National Nude Day, a day that celebrates “the idea that the human body is natural and nothing to be ashamed of.”
And so as morning dawned on July 14, 2025, I pulled off the T-shirt I sleep in, stepped out of my pajama bottoms, and went Full Tilt Boogie in the hall mirror.
Not a pretty sight.
I happen to have a back shaped like the punctuation mark at the end of a properly phrased response to a Jeopardy clue.
It took a bit of a stretch but I convinced myself that what I beheld was nothing to be ashamed of.
There were no special events or parades in Philly and I didn’t want to celebrate all alone so I thought to call my ex-girlfriend Sandra, the one who’s always buying me clothes.
“Perry, just thinking of you. I had some sweaters in hand yesterday at Nordstrom’s that are perfect for you.”
“Sandra this isn’t about clothes. You should know that today, July 14, is a very special day on the calendar.”
“Oh, I know it’s Bastille Day."
“Yes, but it’s also National Nude Day.”
“C’mon! Is that for real?”
“Yeah, it is. Now would you like to come over to my house, take off all your clothes, and cavort on my back lawn with me?"
“Are you out of your fucking mind?!!”
“No, I was just thinking ….”
“This is a shameless ploy to see me naked again, isn’t it?”
“No, no, no! It’s a day for celebrating the idea that the human body is natural and nothing to be ashamed of.”
“Perry, you’re an idiot!!”
“Well, I don’t know about that.”`
“An idiot with a back shaped like the punctuation mark at the end of a properly phrased response to a Jeopardy clue.”
“Yeah, there is that.”
So there I was all alone at 11:47 on the night of July 14, sitting there in my birthday suit and state of mind and watching reruns of Jeopardy.
That Ken Jennings is quite the host.
Now July 14 is fast approaching once more.
Do you - by any chance - feel like helping me celebrate the idea that the human body is natural and nothing to be ashamed of?
Didn’t think so.
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