Montag was aghast! All his books were to be burned.
"Please, Captain, no! Don't destroy my books!"
"Is this your favorite book?" sneered the Captain. "It's got to be burned with all the others!"
Montag lunged at the Captain to grab the book, but the Captain snatched it away and flung it on the fire!
"Curse you!" cried Montag. All that he had loved, all that he prized, all that had ever warmed his soul was now a mass of flaming cinders.
"But why, Captain? Why?!!"
"Montag, you know burned books are better for barbecue than charcoal briquettes."
"But my favorite book!"
"It's just The Jennifer Lawrence Nudie Collection. It's all over the Internet anyway."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is my third parody of Fahrenheit 451, which means two things: (1) this is a heckuva good novel to parody, and (2) I better read some more novels. My favorite of the three parodies is here, the other one is here. I wouldn't waste my time with either.
While there may not be quite 451 Friday Fictioneers yet, there are plenty of Fictioneers offering takes on the above picture prompt if you click here. I'd recommend you do it.
Oh, no, now they want to burn this post! Pretty good idea, I'd say.
Hahahahahahaha!
ReplyDeleteAs a BBQ aficionado, I prefer briquettes to books. Makes for better flavor.
Ahhh, but until you've tried "The Jennifer Lawrence Nudie Collection" with soaked wood chips ...
DeleteHa.. we took our inspiration at the same book.. wonder if there is a secret wish among authors to burn books.
ReplyDeleteI think there's a secret wish among authors to burn everybody else's books. Of that much I'm sure.
DeleteYour entry was great.
ReplyDeleteBut I laughed even harder at your closing comment of:
This is my third parody of Fahrenheit 451, which means two things: (1) this is a heckuva good novel to parody, and (2) I better read some more novels. My favorite of the three parodies is here, the other one is here. I wouldn't waste my time with either.
and
Oh, no, now they want to burn this post!
Funny stuff. Randy
Love you, Randy! And we're just the same age too.
DeleteEverybody was wondering WHO broken in her FILES. Now we KNOW!
ReplyDelete.... Great tie-in to current events ... and humorous ... another good story, Perry.
Well, I do like to tie into current events, Mike, and Putin, the Ukraine, and ISIS haven't been too funny lately.
DeleteMmm tasty book-smoke burgers tonight! You're right, you should read more novels - your parodies are too good to restrict to one!
ReplyDeleteI think that's a good idea. I'm going to start on the second volume of the Jennifer Lawrence Collection tonight!
DeleteI should have known where you'd take this one... ;)
ReplyDeleteYou've gotten to know me too well, too fast, Carrie.
DeleteBetter tag him on FB to list the 10 books that have inspired him the most. :-) P.S. I tried burning the post but got the message that it did not compute.
ReplyDeletejanet
Yes, you and several others tried that, Janet. All my posts are treated to be flame retardant. Knew it would come in handy!
DeleteDear Perry - Boy you do keep up on the news and I love it that it's this guy's favorite book! Good job and thanks for the smile. Have a good week! Nan
ReplyDeleteYes, I keep up on the news of naked celebrities scrupulously, even though I'm not sure who the President is. Thanks, Nan!
DeleteDon't bogart that book, my friend. Pass it over to me.
ReplyDeleteOops, wrong lyrics to a song from Easy Rider. One of my favorite to parody.
Great piece this week, Perry. But wait until you read mine . . . .
I like that song too, Russell, and if you don't bogart that joint the book will probably seem lots more interesting. Heading over to read yours now.
DeleteI KNEW a punchline was coming from you! Wicked ending! Told like only you can..!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Hamish. Now, how the heck do we comment on your blog?
DeletePerry, It seems my first comment fell into the flames as well. Here's a second one. Only you can make book burning that funny. : ) You seem to have tossed the social media into the fire as well. Hilarious. : ) ---Susan
ReplyDeleteThanks, Susan. Sorry your comments keep getting burned up, especially since they're all positive. I promise never to burn one if I come across it, no matter how lost it is. Thanks for writing!
DeleteVery clever Perry, was trying to work out where you were taking us, loved it.
ReplyDeleteDee
Thanks, Dee. Except now that I've taken you all there, I'm leaving. You'll have to get a cab back!
ReplyDeleteHahaha. Way to be topical, Perry! That photo(s) is probably in the hands of many now. So funny.
ReplyDeleteI'm always happy to be topical and pornographic whenever possible!
Deletei heard that burned Captains are better for barbecue than books or briquettes... as much as i'm horrified of the idea of burning books, you've somehow managed to make it hilarious. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks! Maybe we'll burn the Captain in the next Fahrenheit 451 parody.
DeleteVery funny, went and read the other parodies too. The social media people reference cracked me up.
ReplyDeleteGlad you liked. The next five Fahrenheit parodies ought to be even better!
DeleteAlways a laugh with you, Perry - though I disagree with the Captain - books make better fuel for minds trhan for barbecues.
ReplyDeleteI dunno. Did you ever charcoal broil a steak with that Shades of Gray book? Much better for the grill than in your brain!
DeleteThe Jennifer Lawrence Nudie Collection.....digital is not the same as holding it in your hand.
ReplyDeleteFunny comment, Dawn, but don't expect me to touch that one ever!
Deletehaha! A good one. Just loved it.
ReplyDeleteJennifer Lawrence and I thank you!
DeleteDawn's comment kinda' says it all!
ReplyDeleteIt sure does, although I remain shocked at her!
Delete