copyright Madison Woods
"Jesus Christ, Perry, don't you ever brush!"
"Sure I do, Dr. Howard. Regularly. Three times a day, every Thursday."
"I thought so! And what kind of toothpaste are you using?"
"A very good one. Crest with Chocolate Morsels."
"I thought so! "That is not an effective decay-preventive dentifrice!"
"What are you saying, Dr. Howard? We've got more of the old drill and fill ahead?"
"No, Perry, this time I'm afraid it's different."
"What is it?"
"Drill, fill, then run for our lives!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Frankly I wasn't aware there was even a prompt this week since I saw nothing online proffered by Rochelle, whom I set my Friday Fictioneers clock by --- as well as my barometer and Cuisinart --- but then I saw the Hollywood Squares Authors Block (as Russell calls it) taking shape before my quizzical eyes with a prompt originally provided by Madison Woods, whose pen name I would love to have taken for my own had she not slipped in and grabbed it first.
So here's my hastily composed response to this week's elusive prompt made this Saturday, August 30, 2014. You can find the other far savvier and tuned in Fictioneers' offerings by clicking right here.
Oh, one more thing. That prompt above? Gag me with a spoon!
Having worked at a dental office I can relate to this sad tale of "once a week" brushing. Sad to say, some people NEVER brush and can't wait to get dentures. Yikes! Well done.
ReplyDeleteI'm nothing like that for real! In fact I'm thinking of upping my brushing to three or four days a week. Love that Crest with Chocolate Morsels!
DeleteYikes! My mouth hurts. I could see how you would see dental decay with this one. I think kids might actually brush with toothpaste if it had chocolate morsels. The bubble gum flavor is not fooling them! Funny stuff, Perry.
ReplyDeleteSomehow that's all I could see, but then again I brush weekly (and weakly). But you know, Amy, chocolate morsels for kids isn't a bad idea, as long as we wash it down with Listerine Coke right afterwards!
DeleteBleagh! Definitely needs a new brushing regimen! o.O
ReplyDeleteEven with a whole regiment brushing my teeth probably couldn't very much improve my dental care ...
DeleteDear Perry, Yuck - if that is what happens if you don't brush - then I'm glad I brush. You have a funny dentist and 'Listerine Coke' just sounds WRONG! I'm drinking one right now. You are hilarious Perry! Are there really people who never brush their teeth? How do they stand to go to bed with gunk all over their teeth - you know me - I've now had 11 root canals and it's not from brushing - I got my bad from genes. My twin sister, Ann and I both have bad teeth - but we still have them. Oh well - I'm running on again - have a good week Perry! Nan :)
ReplyDeleteYou too, Nan. I'm surprised you have time to brush from the detailed comments you're always writing. Have a Listerine Coke and chill out! And have a good holiday ....
DeletePerry, I think something ate my first comment. Here's a second one. That photo prompt seems even more disgusting now that it's supposed to be tooth tartar. Hilarious story as usual. : ) ---Susan
ReplyDeleteThanks, Susan. I've been brushing even since I wrote it.
Delete.... and that is how the Aliens devoured the Earth.
ReplyDeleteNow little Perry Jr. Remember to brush your teeth every day unless you want to grow up like your father and destroy the world with your bad breath and horrible teeth.
Fun stuff, Perry.
Randy
My alien are coming for you NOW, Randy!
DeleteDentists and hygienists do not make enough money.
ReplyDeleteThose that are still living, yes I agree.
DeleteI hear Tooth Fairies are negotiating a pay rise after reading this.
ReplyDeleteMost tooth fairies are actually middle aged men who surreptitiously leave money under their kids' pillows and hope not to get caught. Very few of them have wings. They probably deserve a pay raise more than anyone.
Deleteoh, poor dears...both the dentist and the patient! your hastily composed story takes a good bite at flash fiction. or... is it fiction???
ReplyDeleteWhile the hastily composed story is based on actual facts, thank god some of the events depicted herein are fictional! Of course my dentist is in Borneo right now and refuses to come back!
DeleteAs you probably know, Perry. We invented the toothbrush in Arkansas. Otherwise it would have been called a teethbrush.
ReplyDeleteI love that! Thanks, Russell
DeleteReminds me of one of my favorite Steven Wright jokes:
ReplyDelete"My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.”
I'd try it but my dental hygienist is 350 pounds and looks like Steven Wright.
Delete