"That's absolutely the worst contracting job I've ever seen, Mr. DiPhillipo!"
"Whaddya mean, Mr. Block? I got everything done as you asked."
"Look at that wallpaper! It's faded, it's shredded, the design looks like fleas copulating!"
"You don't like abstract art I take it, Mr. Block?"
"The banister is just a hunk of old rotted wood!"
"It's early American."
"And what about these two gaping holes in the wall?!"
"Extra storage space. Whaddya want, Mr. Block? I'm a contractor and I showed up!"
"OMG, you're right! How much do I owe you?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Not only is Mr. DiPhillipo the man who showed up, but I also showed up this week for the Friday Fictioneers with a very concise and well-constructed 93 words in my weekly entry in response to the picture prompt above.
Click right here and the other Friday Fictioneers will show up as well, each with his or her own unique interpretation of the prompt.
Now I'd love it if you'd join me in enjoying my new basement! Hope you like drafts, leaky ceilings, and abstract art.
I thought the two gaping holes were windows.
ReplyDeleteThey are. These are les petites fenetres in the laundry room.
DeletePerry, Hilarious story once again. Once again I laughed out loud. : ) You better take some lessons in carpentry. Doing it yourself would be much less expensive and a better job. Of course, the contractors' union might come after you. They've got a good thing there. Well done. : ) ---Susan
ReplyDeleteThe problem is, Susan, if I tried to do it myself, I wouldn't show up! Thanks for the nice compliment.
DeleteFun to see a funny story come out of that pic. I've read a few creepy entries now, but nothing else that mentions copulating fleas. That's tough to beat!
ReplyDeleteNot that copulating fleas aren't a bit creepy as well.
DeleteHilarious! I think I know that contractor....
ReplyDeleteYou know him? You've actually seen him?!!
DeletePerry, thanks for the laugh. I love the last line!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Alicia. Yes, I worked on that last line for over 12 years. Finally I found a story to fit it in!
DeleteYou'd better hurry and put that house on the market while real estate values are high!
ReplyDeleteFor someone to buy it they'd have to be high.
DeleteThat was quite entertaining :D
ReplyDeleteGlad you liked it! Would you come and help me bail after the next heavy rain?
DeleteDescription of the wall paper design is very imaginative ! :D
ReplyDeletehad my share of laughter - thanks Perry !
Darn it! I meant to give you two shares!
DeleteI recently spent three days waiting in for a contractor, so I know how it feels. Thanks for the laughs :D
ReplyDeleteThat's not so bad. I'm still waiting for two or three!
DeleteA couple of those fleas look pretty well hung . . . on the wall, I mean.
ReplyDeleteNow I'm really worried about you, Russell!
DeleteToo funny! You had me at "fleas copulating" and "early American." But sealed the deal at - hey at least he showed up to do the work. #D
ReplyDeleteGlad you liked. It training the fleas to copulate was the hardest part of the job!
DeleteDear Perry, Good story and the "fleas" line was hilarious!. Excellent writing and I loved it! Good job Perry! Nan :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Nan! Yes, flea jokes are one of my specialties.
DeleteI thought Mr block was a bit of a wimp! I'd have called Trading Standards,
ReplyDeleteMr. Block a wimp? Why .... why ... of course he is!
DeleteGetting a contractor to show up CAN be a daunting task.... abstract art not withstanding! LOL! Great post! :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Courtney. I'm still waiting a contractor who was scheduled to work on my house in 1997.
DeleteI love the extra space. That's one way to create extra storage, Perry. I now have a new outlook on life. It reminds me of the holes my brother used to punch into the wall. I can laugh about it now. Thanks, Perry!
ReplyDelete