"So how do you like it here at the University, George?"
"I love it, Mark! The classes are stimulating, I like my professors, and the experience living away from home is cool."
"I feel the same, George. Even the food is good. And you couldn't ask for a more beautiful tree-lined campus!"
"I love the architecture of the residence halls too. There's only one thing I don't like."
"What's that?"
"The stairs we have to take down to where the classes are.''
"What stairs? There's a black pole we slide down 200 feet."
"That's what I don't like!"
"George, if you don't like sliding down poles, don't come to the Red Adair University of Firefighting!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If there isn't a school of higher learning for firefighters like the Red Adair University of Firefighting, there ought to be. And considering the great job these guys do for all of us, it ought to actually have stairs as well as a campus that looks like the one in the picture prompt above on which my Friday Fictioneers entry for this week is based.
I don't want to yell "fire" in a crowded theater, but you ought to exit the theater right now and check out the blazing hot contributions of the other Fictioneers by breaking the glass and sounding the alarm right here.
Ready to slide down the pole? Yeah, I know ... maybe by senior year.
I swear I was waiting to find out the guy was attending classes in some scary alternate universe. I loved this!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Sarah. For some reason, with all that was beautiful in this picture I could only see the banister that looks like it has no stairs attached, hence the school became Firefighters University. Wish I had the SATs to attend ....
DeleteI assume the female students are majoring in pole dancing. If that's the case, both George and Mark might decide to become career students.
ReplyDeleteCount on you, Russell, to take something noble and humanitarian like the many services of firefighters on our behalf and turn it into something sleazy and disgusting. And may I say, sir .... thank you so much!!!
DeleteFunny you guys! Nan
DeleteWe try, Nan. We try.
DeleteI was wondering why everything was so dandy for these guys - they are learning something with a definite outcome they chose themselves! (Love Russell's comment about the pole dancing. Alicia
ReplyDeleteDon't encourage him, Alicia.
DeletePerry, are you saying I'm encouragable? Why, thank you.
DeleteIf there are no stairs how do they get back up? Do they have to climb that 200 ft pole? That wouldn't be much fun!
ReplyDeleteThat's one of the great mysteries about firefighters. I was hoping you knew!
DeleteI figured it out! They use the ladder truck to get back upstairs!
DeleteGood guess, but that's not it. Only graduates of the Red Adair University of Firefighting truly know the answer.
DeleteIn other words you have no clue because you never graduated?
DeleteVery good! Excellent surprise! I was trying to fit Hogwart in there somehow and it wasn't quite working.
ReplyDeleteScott
Yes it was. Hogwarts Firefighting College is just down the road!
Delete:) I too was wondering how you get back upstairs. Nice one!
ReplyDeleteWell, Sandra, you'll either have to attend the Red Adair University of Firefighting or get one of its graduates very very drunk.
DeleteWorked my way through college as a fireman. Missed 1/3 of all classes, but grades went up from D's & F's to A's & B's. After waxing the truck 5 times, there was nothing to do but study. Hey, it worked for me. But we never had poles to slide down, or pole-dancing girls. If we had, grades would had gone back down to D's & F's, Ha.
ReplyDeleteMike, that's very cool to know and thank you for sharing and for your service. Now let's find us some pole dancing girls fast!
DeleteGood story and my husband was a firefighter when we first got married. Poor guy didn't know what to do! Great fun Perry - as usual. You know what, I bet he didn't go to that school on visitation day either. No wonder he is confused! Nan :)
ReplyDeleteHe doesn't strike me as confused at all and if he still wants to attend the Red Adair University of Firefighting, I'd be thrilled to write him a recommendation! For a nominal fee.
DeletePerry, Good story and funny as usual. You and Russell are like a comedy team. :) My dad was a fireman, at the last a captain, so I can clear up a couple of issues. He took some courses at the city university besides special training in procedures the city provided. In the fire houses where there was a second floor, there "were" stairs. When the bell rang for a fire they had to get there fast so they slid down the pole if it was night and they were upstairs sleeping. At night they had a pair of pants with suspenders, the ends of which were in their fire boots. When the bell rang, they got up, put their legs and feet into the pants and boots, pulled up the suspenders, slid down the pole and finished dressing downstairs by putting on their coats and hats. They then climbed into the truck and were on their way. : ) ---Susan
ReplyDeleteThank you, Susan. That was great to know and I'm sure you're really proud of your dad. But I did want to think firefighters somehow flew up the pole at the end of the day in some inexplicable paranormal way aside from taking the very prosaic steps. So I'm going to forget that part of your explanation selectively. The mythology lives on!
DeleteDoesn't surprise me a bit Perry. : ) ---Susn
DeleteGood entry, Perry!
ReplyDeleteAnd the Jeopardy answer is --- to keep his pants up.
You should have made that one a true Daily Double!
DeleteWhat a beautiful University for Fire Fighters! It does look like a serious dip down those stairs through that archway. Made me chuckle. BUT - when are you going to take a look under The Little Black Dress! I want your opinion!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm here for you, Boomer Babe.
Deleteridiculous! hahaha :) and brilliant. yes it does look like a pole, doesn't it?
ReplyDeletei'm probably worse that russell coz i was imagining a bunch of hot firefighters who also have pole dancing in their curriculum. lol
You are indeed worse than Russell, and just about anybody else ...which makes you the best, KZ! Bring on the hot firefighters!
DeleteI agree, kudos to firefighters everywhere. Thanks for enlightening us on this higher level of education.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Patti. Enlightenment is my middle name.
DeleteYou and Russell need to take your show on the road. The comments and replies are as much fun as your story. Deeply moving...As always.
ReplyDeleteWe've discussed it, but Russell wants top billing and more money. A deeply moving drama may follow. We'll keep you posted.
DeleteNaw, the straight-man always gets top billing. You go first, Perry.
DeleteI want to break up! And Frank Sinatra can reunite us on national television 20 years from now.
DeleteDear Perry,
ReplyDeleteSo do they climb ladders to get back upstairs? It would make sense. I didn't see that last line coming as Kent read it to me in the car. I nearly drove up a pole. Thanks for the raging inferno of laughter. Hee hee.
shalom,
Rochelle
Yes, I am frequently referred to as the Raging Inferno of Laughter. It gets embarrassing when I'm introduced that way at the senior center. Thanks, Rochelle!
DeleteHi Perry
ReplyDeleteVery funny stuff - I can just imagine them sliding down that pole :)
A small error in your first line though - 'How do you like here it...' should be 'How do you like it here..' methinks.
Good catch. I guess it's those smoke inhalation fumes! CHOKE!!!
DeleteDear Perry,
ReplyDeleteI knew who Red Adair was (John Wayne) and i loved your (and his) imagined University. very well done.
Aloha,
Doug
Thanks, Doug! And now the commencement address from our esteemed founder and first president, Mr. John Wayne! (Who's Red Adair?)
DeleteHaha..I agree!
ReplyDeleteThanks for agreeing, Dawn!
DeleteYes.. you'd better choose the right education.. :-) great take..
ReplyDeleteYes, darn it! I got wait listed.
DeleteOn the head as usual, Perry - as soon as I read your story, I saw the picture in a new light. That's one of the things I love about FF!
ReplyDeleteYes, me too. I can only see fireman sliding down that pole and not liberal arts majors!
ReplyDeleteGreat story. How cute, Red Adair--I actually know who he is. John Wayne played him in a movie. Your story made me laugh. Lucy
ReplyDeleteThanks, Lucy. Yes, I have been informed that John Wayne played him although I didn't see the movie. I'm sure the Duke's acting made the pole in our story seem animated!
DeleteGreat ending. I hear the school's calendar sells well.
ReplyDeleteYes, but the paper it's printed on burns way too easily!
DeleteI love your back and forth dialogues Perry... and yes, indeed, there should be a school like the Red Air!
ReplyDeleteI agree. I'll get crackin' on it!
Delete