"What do you see ahead, Mr. Barkley?" Cap'n Timmy hollered to his faithful lookout in the ship's crow's nest.
"There's a ship approaching, Cap'n Timmy!" responded Barkley.
"Good! Then raise the Jolly Roger, it's full scale assault for booty!"
"Ha, ha, Cap'n Timmy," laughed Barkley. "This is so fun!"
"Why are you laughing, Mr. Barkley?" asked Cap'n Timmy.
"Because we're obviously in one of those adorable children's books where a supposed great adventure turns out to be the whimsical fantasy of a young boy and his dog."
Cap'n Timmy pulled out his pistol and shot Barkley, who fell from the crow's nest into the frigid sea below.
"Poor bastard!" sneered Cap'n Timmy. "Even he got misled by the stupid ass names Perry Block has given us."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Maybe it was partially the misleading names I gave the characters, but the picture prompt above upon which this week's Friday Fictioneers story is based sure didn't help clarify things either. No, Cap'n Timmy is not 4 years old and Mr. Barkley not 4 legged! And their story comes not from the dreams of children, but from the annals of bloodthirsty plunder on the Spanish Main.
Speaking of annals, you can dig deep into the annals of the other Friday Fictioneers by clicking right here on the word "annals." I assure you "annals" is not a dirty word, although after so overusing it in this paragraph I'm not sure I can assure myself the same thing.
Full speed ahead, everyone, and on into 2014. And for god's sakes, stay out of the crow's nest!
Very funny--I loved the last paragraph! Well done :-)
ReplyDeleteDon't compliment me. It was all Cap'n Timmy's doing.
DeleteThis is certainly an original thought. Kind of Haha I got you guys. Thumps up.
DeleteWell that was fabulous because I didn't see it coming and was so glad when it did.
ReplyDeleteThat's a good line, and I'm stealing it.
DeleteI was so glad that you were so glad when it did too.
DeleteTed, I was so glad that you were so glad that dctdesigns was so glad when it did too. I have no idea whether I've gotten that right.
DeleteI like it! That Perry Block is such a card. Imagine, putting your own name in your story.
ReplyDeleteImagine putting your own name in the story? Who else do I have to use, Stephen King?
DeleteDear Perry,
ReplyDeleteI could see this as story done as a sketch on Carol Burnett with Tim Conway as the dog and Harvey Korman as Cap'n Timmy. Funny,
Shalom,
Rochelle
And I've always wanted to be played by Vicki Lawrence.
DeletePerry, I wooden't have missed this for the world...or a pirate's booty (if it was a good-looking one...maybe.) I can see your year's off to a great start, so may it continue that way.
ReplyDeletejanet
Thank you, Janet. May all your pirate's booties be good-looking!
DeleteTimmy grows up to be quite a cad!
ReplyDeleteI understand he's known as Lackbeard the Pirate!
DeleteI bet Terry Gilliam will be looking closely at this script. Good one.
ReplyDeleteActually I bet Terry Gilliam will be looking more closely at this one:
Deletehttp://www.perryblock.com/2013/12/a-boomer-deals-with-spam.html
Haha that's hilarious, Perry. I literally laughed out loud. Keep this up and I may just send you some of those sugar pills I call knock off Viagra at no charge.
ReplyDeleteWarmest regards for a safe and happy 2014,
Phillip J. VanderMcDoogalkinz
Thank you, Phillip. If I could keep it up, I wouldn't need those sugar pills youI call knock off Viagra at no charge.
DeleteI'm not in the business of knowing whether or not you can keep it up. I'm in the business of assuming you can't and offering pills that don't work at prices you can't possibly afford.
DeleteOh I was all set to be enamoured with the cuteness of your story and names, Perry, but this is even better. Great turn of events, although poor Barkley. That'll teach him for breaking the fourth wall!
ReplyDeleteActually he only peed on the fourth wall. I broke it!
DeleteSo glad it wasn't cute to the end! By the way - "misled" is how it's spelt :)
ReplyDeleteJust like me, it wasn't cute to the end. (Fixed misspelling. Thnx.)
DeleteArrg, out for booty are we? By the way, I know you obsessed over the names Timmy and Barkley for hours, when you could have just went with your first choices, Scarlett and Perry.
ReplyDeleteYes, but it would have been tough to take when Scarlett shot Perry even before the start of the story.
DeleteArrrrgh Pirates can have funny names... they just become meaner with a funny name...
ReplyDeleteTrue. I understand the only pirate more brutal and bloodthirsty than Cap'n Timmy is Cap'n Skippy.
DeleteThe shooting made me laugh out loud -- I certainly did not see that coming! Poor Mr. Barkley, despite being high up in the crow's nest, didn't see it either. A damn funny story for the annals of pirate tales!
ReplyDeleteYes, it comes from deep within the annals. The soft, warm, tingling .... wait a minute, annals is not a dirty word!
Deletei see cap'n timmy is a very, very bad man. :(
ReplyDeleteHe spoiled the story!!!
ReplyDeleteScott
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2014/01/02/friday-fictioneers-blasted-from-the-past-carolyns-adventures-r-1314/
Someone messed with your head, Mr BLACKBEARD Perry Block!
ReplyDeleteClever and original, Perry. That's one of the reasons I always skip ahead to read yours... wherever you land in the queue. ;-) Dawn
ReplyDeletelol perry this made me laugh out loud. great pirate yarn with a perry block twist. happy 2014 :-)
ReplyDeleteI like any stories with the word booty in it. Only when it, of course, relates to pirates!! Ha ha. Very original take, Perry. And I like your names. Happy 2014!
ReplyDelete