FF-Flash Fiction
Made it! Just made it to the cross channel ferry, climbed on deck
with my briefcase, and parked myself at a table facing France.
Hopefully
the sea breeze would ward off any attacks of my old nemesis sea sickness,
especially on such a short trip. Damn it, no such luck!
A
man in a trench coat sat himself across from me.
"Gee, friend, you look green."
"Gee, friend, you look green."
I
slid the briefcase under the table to him.
Not
five minutes later another man approached the table.
"Gee,
friend, you look green."
“Please
tell me you're a random guy and the other guy my contact.”
“No,
I’m your contact.”
Well,
how difficult can it be to enrich uranium anyway?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I had warned M not to assign me to any duty involving boats because of my tendency to barf on them, but he took it upon himself to work the whole thing into the mission with a smart-ass passphrase. What can you expect from a guy who goes around calling himself "M" when his real named is Maurice?
This heart-pounding tale of espionage is my 116 word contribution to the Friday Fictioneers based on the prompt above for this week. Unless you're too nauseous, please enrich yourself, if not uranium, by checking out the work of the many other Fictioneers via a right click right here.
Well, how difficult can it be to enrich uranium anyway?
Ha.. this was very funny. If sea-sickness is too obvious there's always a risk for that random guy.
ReplyDeleteThanks! The poor random guy is now going to be the Toast of Teheran, I think. Hopefully the instructions in the briefcase are for enriching bread, not uranium.
DeleteErm....maybe it's radiation sickness? Anyway, the green Mr. Bond should have a more distinctive password. I've always liked the one Whoopi Goldberg's contact used in Jumpin' Jack Flash: "Dogs barking. Can't fly without umbrella."
ReplyDeleteBut that's just me....
Well, we'll try to stay away from any passwords that involve sea sickness, aging angst, and dream girls. That ought to be safe! Thanks, Jan.
DeleteI think that would be me! lol
ReplyDeleteScott
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/11/27/ff-friday-fictioneers-the-restaurant-at-the-end-pg13-11292013-horror/
Probably would, but fortunately for you I got there first.
DeleteExcellent! Very funny indeed.
ReplyDeleteI try. If you were to celebrate Thanksgiving, have a happy one, Sandra!
Deletelol very funny :) great story, Perry.
ReplyDeleteThanks, KZ. Hey, feel like enriching uranium together some time?
DeleteSuperb! Really enjoyed that very much!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you enjoyed since after all, only the fate of the free world is at stake!
DeleteDelightful little ferry boat ride. I aways wondered how the spies knew each other and now I know - They don't! I wonder what happens when the first guy opens the briefcase...But in my story, he would be a counter spy and have just saved the world from the likes of you!
ReplyDeleteYes, but in my story he would have been a bumbling counter spy who thinks he has the recipe for enriching bread and would spend his time trying to blow up the world with Wonderbread. Meanwhile I'm still nauseous and the real spy is turning me over to Edward Snowden to be douche bagged to death! All in a day's work. Happy Holidays!
DeleteHi Perry,
ReplyDeleteTaking a break from writing this week and just reading my favorite writers. This boat does look like a good rendezvous point for spies. Was wondering if you also get carsick, and how are you on roller coasters and horseback? Ron
I only get carsick if I try to read in a car. How am I on roller coasters? I don't know because I'm never on roller coasters. I don't get nauseous on horseback but my tuchas feels as if it's been in a fist fight with Mike Tyson. There, Ron. Any more questions?
DeleteThis one had me chuckling out loud but seriously, find a better line for something as important as...URANIUM!
ReplyDeleteHow about "Gee, Friend, you strike me as kind of neurotic." No, that's no better either!
DeleteGood one, he may not be long for the spy business.
ReplyDeleteIf he doesn't get off the boat soon, he may not be long for any business! Thanks, Ted.
DeleteWow! That is *really bad* luck. Nice story!
ReplyDeleteYeah, it's kind of too bad for the entire free world. At least I'm not nauseous anymore.
DeleteDear Perry,
ReplyDeleteLet me guess. You were a Mad Magazine fan growing up? Could see this as one of their movie parodies. I'm a little nauseated now. Think I'll go....
Shalom,
Rochelle
Mad Magazine? They copy from me! Now, if you don't mind, I've some uranium to enrich.
DeleteDear Perry,
ReplyDeleteMe, too nauseous? What are you trying to say? Strunk and White admonished me early on that being nauseous means I have that effect on others.
Mr. Bond's story was humorous and sixteen words too..... Oh, never mind.
Aloha,
Doug
Personally I never found Strunk and White all that funny. I love that Niagara Falls bit though!
DeleteThanks, Doug.
Poor guy. If he gets seasick on a channel crossing, imagine if he ever went on an ocean vessel. Bad times ahead for that spy.. ER, I mean , guy.
ReplyDeleteIf he went on an ocean crossing and hung over the side, you can forget about global warming as the major threat to the planet. Thanks, Erin!
DeleteGreat piece Perry, very funny. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! You are the random person, right? Not the agent?
DeletePerry, you are so funny. And so is your writing.
ReplyDeleteThank you, kd. That's because the writing and I are engaged!
DeletePerry, as soon as someone tells me I look green, that's the end for me. Way to go for M to hang in there. Great job, Mr. Funny.
ReplyDeleteYou look green. No, actually you don't. Mr. Funny signing off.
DeleteOh no! A nice giggle for my Monday morning, Perry, particularly the riff on M and the characters' deadpan reaction to disaster.
ReplyDeleteI think there's a typo - slide for slid, as the rest is in past tense?
Fixed it, thank you. Yes, why worry about global nuclear destruction?
DeleteThis is very funny, Perry. I'm green with envy.
ReplyDeleteThat's what everyone tells me about writing - how hard can it be anyway?
That's what everyone tells me about something else.
DeleteThanks, Russell.
Ha!ha!I am sure now the new colour will be white;-)A wonderful fun story Perry:-)
ReplyDeleteThank you, thank you, but I'm still green!
Delete