"Quiet on the set," hollered director Ed Woodley. "And somebody get that kid away from the phony hive!"
"Aw, Ed," said the prop girl/makeup person/producer Mary Carbone, "his dad's a friend of a friend and he loves movies."
"Mary, we got eight days to shoot Revenge of the Stinking Stingers, a boozehound of a star, and a fake giant bee with a zipper you can see!"
"But, Ed, the script's almost finished and ..."
"Mary, science fiction movies don't get no respect and never will! Now get him out of here!"
"You're right, Ed. It's 1954 and we all gotta eat."
"Good. Now cue the giant cardboard stinger!"
"Sorry, Mr. Spielberg, you have to leave. Maybe one day you can get the boy in somewhere to see 'em make a real movie."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thanks for a having a close encounter with my entry this week for the fabulous Friday Fictioneers, which returns us to the days when science fiction movies truly didn't get no respect. Wish I could build a machine to teleport the excess 31 words out of my story based on the prompt above, but frankly I didn't have no budget for it!
Strange how a funny thing happened to the movies when kids like little Steven Spielberg grew up and didn't put away childish things. We got big budget major star-laden sci-fi, horror, fantasy, and super hero flicks virtually to excess, as well as the many supernaturally talented contributions of the other fantastic Friday Fictioneers, which you all can beam into by clicking here.
I'll see you next week, I'm headed out now to see Revenge of the Stinking Stingers. Love that giant stinger!
Well everyone has to start somewhere, and look where he finished up. Nice one.
ReplyDeleteAnd I hear his next film is "Revenge of the Stinking Stingers II." Thanks, Sandra!
DeleteBee-utifully done, Perry. Good for Steven for overcoming this difficult start and bee-coming a star in his own right (or perhaps his own left.)
ReplyDeletejanet
One more bee joke and I think I'll get hives! On both my right and my left. Thanks, Janet.
DeleteHaha! Nicely imagined. Somewhere Ed Wood is smiling down on this story, Perry!
ReplyDeleteYep and dressed like a woman too! Thank you, Linda.
Deletesounds pretty realistic
ReplyDeletecardboard props moved by a stage-hand
funny one Perry
Those two big fat guys in the bee outfit both got Oscar nominations too.
DeleteHi Perry,
ReplyDeleteAlways look forward to reading your story, but reading those extra 31 words was exhausting. Have you been reading War and Peace? Story was a blast from the past. Ron
Actually I think it might have been 32. Glad you're still standing, Ron!
DeleteGood thing they didn't have smell-o-vision on blogs yet. I don't think we could stand the smell on that stickin' stinger.
ReplyDeleteOMG, Russell, it's a classic! Especially when special guest star Godzilla eats the monster bee and blows honey instead of fire.
DeleteNice little blast from the past, Perry. Something tells me those extra 31 words were more a time issue than a budget one, but then this wouldn't be the first sci-fi movie to overrun either!
ReplyDeleteI understand the movie "Dune" still has 30 minutes to go from its original showing.
DeleteBack when sci fi movies were sci fi movies!
ReplyDeleteThere's no question there were some great ones from that era like "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" and "The Incredible Shrinking Man" and some that are so bad they're good. But no kid back then would have dreamed we've have big budget scifi, monster, and superhero movies coming out almost every week in this day and age.
DeleteWhich almost makes you yearn for the days when they were few and cheap and special.
LOL, you too!
ReplyDeleteThis truly could have happened! I love the old bug and monster movies and I love the idea that a young Steven was watching and waiting!
ReplyDeleteMe too! Thanks.
DeleteAh, Ed Wood(ley) and little Stevie Spielberg both in the same space and time. Also think your portrayal of Wood's resources and unintentionally campy filmmaking technique is probably pretty accurate!
ReplyDeleteThanks, except I didn't dress him in women's clothes. Actually Ed Woodley here represents every schlock film maker here of the period in which movie scifi didn't get no respect.
DeleteHmm, I want to see it anyway!
ReplyDeleteScott
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/07/31/ff-friday-fictioneers-as-bees-and-cs-rated-pg-genre-humorous/
You will be disappointed. Which means you won't!
ReplyDeletelol. loved the surprise ending. well, im glad times are different now, though it's been a while since i've actually seen a decent scifi or fantasy film. another great story from you. :)
ReplyDeletethings* are different now. lol :)
DeleteThings sure are different now, except for me there's so much scifi, horror, supernatural stuff, etc. that it no longer seems special unless the movie is really special. And a lot of them aren't.
DeleteThe movies he made have certainly widened the scope of respect for science fiction movies, that is for sure.
ReplyDeleteNot sure if you mean Ed Wood or Steven Spielberg, but thanks!
DeleteHA!!! Great Ed Wood send-up. I think setting this photo on a movie set is quite creative.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I have my moments, brief though they may be. Thanks!
DeleteGood thing little Stevie was thrown off the set before he learned filmmaking at the feet of a Golden Turkey Award winner. Just think, the giant shark and dinosaurs could have been sporting zippers and camoflauged legs (and Pinky and the Brain would never have tried to take over the world). A valuable historical vignette.
ReplyDeleteWell, of course, Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain would have had no problem taking over a world in which giant dinosaurs were magnified lizards with plates stuck on their backs and the best they could do would be to cast a lawyer as the shark. Thanks!
DeleteRevenge of the stinking stingers would have been rated 18 when it came out, and down rated to a PG now.
ReplyDelete"Revenge of the Stinking Stingers" is a true classic and still rated 18, for 18 IQ point.
DeleteA brush with greatness.
ReplyDeleteI'm hoping Ed Woodley remembered to brush.
DeleteBravo Perry - a wonderful take on the prompt this week sir! Which, you know, doesn't mean that your other takes aren't marvelous as well, but, I'm only trying to say that... oh, stuff it - good job Perry!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Troy. I'll stuff it any time for comments like that!
DeleteThe only thing missing is an incoherent Bela Lugosi, darling! Very nice.
ReplyDelete"The ... children of the ... day, I mean night ... what ... what music they like ... I mean .... what music they listen to ... no, I mean ... music they make! Shit, I'm so f*cked up!"
DeleteHow's that?
Dear Perry,
ReplyDeletePerhaps if they'd send Ed Woodley away and let the kid stay Stinking Stingers might've been a hit. Alas, no E.T. here. A good flash fiction though. Too entertaining for me to care about your (gasp!) 31 words over.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks, I'll make up those words in another outing. Preferably one directed by Ed Woodley!
DeleteI chuckled. :)
ReplyDeleteYou'll laugh out loud when you see the movie, especially that ten foot cardboard stinger!
DeleteI loved this!
ReplyDeleteAgain, you haven't loved til you see "Revenge of the Stinking Stingers!"
DeleteDear Perry,
ReplyDeleteI loved your story. An homage to Ed Wood and Spielberg in 100 words. Very well done.
Aloha,
Doug
Yeah, I had Stanley Kubrick and Roger Corman in there too but it went over by 37 words so I had to cut them. Thank you, Doug!
DeleteThanks for the smile. I like the twist. But how dare you? I love those 50s Scifi B-movies. Especially the long moralising speeches at the end. :)
ReplyDeleteI love them too.
DeleteAnd some day humankind may put away his petty squabbles and insane quests in the name of hubris and perhaps then we will learn the true message of the orbs and discover the potential of all the creatures of the cosmos.
Hot damn, that was good!
It's eat or be eaten. Spielberg was forced to make his own stingin' movie. Thank you for bringing the extra words to my attetion, the alarm failed to go off at 100. Good read.
ReplyDeleteYou better fix that alarm. We have the technology now we didn't have in the fifties!
Delete