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Thursday, April 25, 2013

The Well-Read Dude




".... Dickens, Flaubert, James Joyce ... I've always said you have the best personal library I've ever seen, Charles!"

 "Thank you, Perry."

 "Actually, Charles, I was kind of wondering if  ...  would it be okay for me to borrow a couple of books over the weekend?"

 "Sure, I'm always happy to encourage reading in my friends."

 "Well, it's not exactly that.  See, I've finally got myself a date Saturday, and I'd like to leave some impressive looking books lying around half open."

 "Perry, that's terrible!  But I guess it's okay."

 "Thanks, Charles!  Oh, Milton's Paradise Lost,  there's one I'd like to take!"

 "No, sorry, can't loan that one."

 "Why not?"

 "Got myself a date Saturday too."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 It's open and shut.  In compliance with the rules of the Fabulous Friday Fictioneers, the week's picture prompt is above and my 100 word story below it.  Only my story is 115 words, so go ahead and book me, Danno!  

 And don't tell me some of you guys have never pulled the ploy utilized above, and perhaps some of you women have too.  It was also referenced in Woody Allen's Play it Again, Sam. 

 Does it work?  Maybe for Charles!  The rest of us ought to pick out a good book to read for the weekend, or check out the library of other Fictioneers' entries by clicking here.

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57 comments:

  1. AnonymousApril 25, 2013 at 7:53 PM

    Hahaha! But...her first clue will be that those are your ONLY impressive books!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perry BlockApril 25, 2013 at 7:56 PM

      Hey! I have the Classics Comics Illustrated 59 Shades of Grey! How could you doubt me like that?

      Delete
  2. nightlakeApril 25, 2013 at 8:46 PM

    lol:)Alternatively, try getting humorous books. The date will think the narrator has a great sense of humour

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perry BlockApril 26, 2013 at 12:06 AM

      That'd be just great. She'll wind up running off with the narrator and leave me sitting there with all those half open books!

      Delete
    2. Merilyn JacksonApril 28, 2013 at 11:54 AM

      You and Cyranose

      Delete
    3. Perry BlockApril 28, 2013 at 1:22 PM

      I'll take that as a compliment, Merilyn, although Cyrano makes "Jimmy Durante" jokes about me!

      Delete
  3. AnonymousApril 25, 2013 at 9:54 PM

    Lol indeed.. I guess some people will find this tip handy ;)

    ReplyDelete
  4. UnknownApril 26, 2013 at 1:21 AM

    I think it is important to be well versed in the various nuances that a good book can add to a positive environment. Having said that I must complement both men in your story on the fact that they are apparently going out with intelligent women!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perry BlockApril 26, 2013 at 3:07 AM

      On behalf of me and Charles, thank you very much, Penny!

      Delete
  5. AnonymousApril 26, 2013 at 1:34 AM

    Sneaky. What happens when the date knows a few of those books from cover to cover and starts in a healthy discussion? Err. Busted!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perry BlockApril 26, 2013 at 3:09 AM

      I picked me up the Cliff's Notes after I left Charlie's place, Debra. Busted no more!

      Delete
    2. AnonymousApril 26, 2013 at 11:40 AM

      Very smart. I loved Cliff's Notes when I was in high school. I was such a cheater.

      Delete
  6. Sandra CrookApril 26, 2013 at 2:28 AM

    :) :) They do say books are currency... Very droll. Wel done

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perry BlockApril 26, 2013 at 3:12 AM

      Well, then I am poor in both, Sandra. But I have read Milton; what's he worth?

      Delete
  7. EL ApplebyApril 26, 2013 at 4:28 AM

    Hi Perry
    Very funny story! and I have to confess that, although I don't deliberately leave choice books lying around, I do hide the less sophisticated reading material so my bookshelves reflect the kind of person I'd like to be seen as! How sad am I!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perry BlockApril 26, 2013 at 10:27 AM

      Not nearly as sad as I am. I probably leave out the books you put away.

      Delete
  8. AnonymousApril 26, 2013 at 4:36 AM

    hahaha gotta beware of guys like that. tsk3 ^^ great story

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perry BlockApril 26, 2013 at 10:36 AM

      Nobody should beware of guys like us. We're harmless.

      But they should fall for it, hook, line, and sinker!

      Delete
  9. AnonymousApril 26, 2013 at 9:09 AM

    Perfect!

    ReplyDelete
  10. June O'HaraApril 26, 2013 at 11:37 AM

    Hey, all's fair in love, war and trying to get laid.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perry BlockApril 26, 2013 at 11:38 AM

      Laid by a brainy chick --- Yep, that's what I'm all about!

      Delete
  11. AnonymousApril 26, 2013 at 3:31 PM

    Thanks Perry, you always leave me with a smile!
    Scott

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perry BlockApril 27, 2013 at 7:15 AM

      Is that where I left that smile? Okay, you can hang on to it for the weekend, but I'll need it back after that.

      Delete
  12. RussellApril 26, 2013 at 4:30 PM

    Perry,
    I left you 4 extra words on mine as part of my down payment for my first semester tuition. I do hope you have a women's dormitory at Havertown U. as I always wanted to be a part of a panty raid.

    As for your story, you would do better impressing hot chicks by leaving credit cards lying around. By the time they discovered the cards were maxed-out you would have already made your move. Then you could write a thriller about how they chased you down to kill you for revenge.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perry BlockApril 27, 2013 at 7:23 AM

      The four extra words more than pay for the first and part of the second semester, Russell, although room and board is extra. And you will be bored! The dormitories are co-ed, but frankly the women who come to the University of Havertown will make you wish they were not.

      Maxing out my credit cards would not be a big deal as my MasterCard is called MinorCard and comes with training wheels. At most places there is a $10 maximum, not minimum, to use a MinorCard.

      Now if you don't mind I'm off to my library to listen to some great ABBA!

      Delete
  13. AnonymousApril 26, 2013 at 9:30 PM

    Well, shame on imaginary Perry! (She says kicking this months "Wall Street Journal" under the couch." We gals would never resort to these tricks. GRIN

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perry BlockApril 27, 2013 at 7:24 AM

      Pity, cause I would totally fall for it. You read the Wall Street Journal?! You can handle all my investments! AND TAKE ME!!!

      Delete
  14. AnonymousApril 27, 2013 at 2:07 AM

    I laughed at the end, although wouldn't you look for "Paradise Found". If I had fine books, I could never bring myself to lend them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perry BlockApril 27, 2013 at 7:27 AM

      I'm looking for a date so naive she'll think there's a "Paradise Found" so I can pretend to have read that too. That John Milton --- he's one of the funniest guys I know since Milton Berle!

      Delete
  15. TrudyApril 27, 2013 at 6:39 AM

    My word count is always slightly over, by a word or two, and I never worry too much.
    I'm not sure I'd fall for the books lying around ploy, but I might be impressed at the effort - as long as I liked the CD collection too!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perry BlockApril 27, 2013 at 7:28 AM

      All my CDs are ABBA and Air Supply. Think that'll work?

      Delete
  16. brudbergApril 27, 2013 at 7:36 AM

    In one of the local newspaper there is a column -- ask the librarian. More than once this type of questions has come up... But I guess it works, but I would go for Marcel Proust.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Perry BlockApril 27, 2013 at 7:38 AM

    I'd try Proust, but I can't remember a damn thing past!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Rochelle Wisoff-FieldsApril 27, 2013 at 8:03 AM

    Dear Perry,
    A deeply funny take on two shallow fellas.
    shalom,
    Rochelle

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perry BlockApril 27, 2013 at 8:08 AM

      Are you calling me "shallow?" You can wade in me up to your ankles!

      Delete
  19. AnonymousApril 27, 2013 at 10:02 AM

    Now, do they tailor the selection to the woman? Maybe some Austen and Bronte to show they're sensitive, Sartre to show they're deep... :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perry BlockApril 28, 2013 at 11:34 AM

      ... and Anaïs Nin to get down to brass tacks!

      Delete
  20. AnonymousApril 27, 2013 at 1:02 PM

    Hahaha! The perfect payoff. Those are going to be two hot dates! They sound like two wild and crazy guys!!

    P.S. You bio is a masterpiece!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perry BlockApril 28, 2013 at 1:51 PM

      Yep, they are two wild and crazy guys!

      Their lives are every bit as exciting as my bio, which is why they're both 62 and still pulling the old "leave open a book you've haven't a clue about" routine!

      Delete
  21. AnonymousApril 27, 2013 at 1:42 PM

    Funny, clever scheme, but a real intellectual woman will want to talk about these books! Great one, Perry!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perry BlockApril 28, 2013 at 4:23 PM

      Oh,no! Then I've got to hire another intellectual woman to talk back with her.

      Delete
  22. AnonymousApril 27, 2013 at 8:54 PM

    Loved it! I laughed out loud.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perry BlockApril 28, 2013 at 4:25 PM

      Thanks! Why don't you stop over and look at the great books I've got lying half open later?

      Delete
  23. AnonymousApril 28, 2013 at 2:11 PM

    I hear Charles' library is in danger of temporary depletion--the guys borrow the high-brow tomes to impress the women; the gals borrow the 1000-pagers to defend themselves. Along the way, a couple of books may get read by those lonely hearts whose dates didn't show. Fun take on the prompt.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perry BlockApril 28, 2013 at 4:27 PM

      Hey, I ALWAYS make it a habit to read the book jacket and sometimes even the Cliff's Notes! Of course, if my date ever showed, I wouldn't have time for it ...

      Delete
  24. AnonymousApril 28, 2013 at 4:06 PM

    This was great, though to impress me it would have to be sci-fi!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perry BlockApril 28, 2013 at 4:29 PM

      Anne, I want you to stop by and see my Heinlein and my Asimov! And after that, maybe we'll look at a couple of books ...

      Delete
  25. Danny BowmanApril 28, 2013 at 9:15 PM

    Paradise Lost, huh? That girl must have a taste for hellfire. Hope he left Dante on the table too!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perry BlockApril 29, 2013 at 2:47 AM

      Come to think of it he did, although frankly he doesn't know Dante Alighieri from Kirstie Alighieri!

      Delete
  26. lora mitchellApril 29, 2013 at 1:26 AM

    If these gals are savvy they will see right through these guys. Knowing they are trying to impress, these gals may decide to spend the entire evening discussing books and the guys will never get to first base. lol.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Perry BlockApril 29, 2013 at 2:48 AM

    I have a feeling these guys won't even get to the ballpark!

    ReplyDelete
  28. DobsonApril 29, 2013 at 1:57 PM

    Well I think if just seeing the books impresses the girl that there is not much to her. i suppose it all is down to what exactly Charles desires!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Perry BlockApril 29, 2013 at 11:57 PM

    Charles and I are not looking for shallow experiences!

    But if we should happen to get one or two along the way, so much the better ...

    ReplyDelete
  30. AnonymousMay 10, 2013 at 1:42 AM

    As usual your tale made me LOL.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perry BlockMay 10, 2013 at 2:02 AM

      Thank you. Maybe I'll leave this post out half open if I ever do get another date ...

      Delete