Wednesday, May 16, 2018

He's the Lone Lawyer, Masked Man!


"Kemosabe, the Butch Cavendish Gang is coming!  We’ve got to open fire now. Oh no, Kemosabe is talking to….”

“Michael Avenatti, Masked Man!  Pleased to meet you."

“Why are you here, partner?”

"I'm an attorney from the future, and I'm everywhere."

"But why here with me and Tonto?"

“Ranger, I’ve come to tell you that a man named Michael Cohen is claiming to Russian oligarchs that he owns your silver mine!” 

“That’s plumb wrong! But how did you get here from the future?”

“There isn’t time to explain, I’ve got something called The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson to appear on next."

“Excuse me, kemosabe, but we must stop Cavendish now!”

“Tonto, this fella is telling me that some bad man named Michael Cohen claims he own my silver mill.”

“Me know.  Me talk to Michael this morning."

“You did?"

“Yes, Ranger, I appeared with Jake Tapper, then Lawrence O'Donnell, then traveled back in time to appear with Tonto and then you to inform you both about a horrible president named Trump. Next to him Andrew Johnson was a pussycat!"  

“And Michael explain that this Trump have sex with porn star Stormy Daniels, and Michael Cohen use your silver mine to funnel hush money to Ms. Daniels.”

“Tonto, what is a porn star?”

“You been alone on prairie too long, kemosabe.  Me explain birds and the bees later.”

“Ranger, you’ll have to take it from here.  After the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson I’m appearing at a Bar Mitzvah to explain money laundering to young Seth.”

“Thank you, Mr. Avenatti. What can I do for you?”

“I could use some transportation to the future, Masked Man.”

“You can borrow my horse!”

“Here come Butch Cavendish!”

“Masked Man, Tonto, I’m a reformed man!”

“How did that happen, Cavendish?”

“Michael Avennati told me about this disgusting man named Trump.  No way I want to be like him!”

“Mr. Avenatti talked to you too?!”

“Yes, on the Butch Cavendish Hour. He appeared along with Horace Greeley.”

“Farewell now, Mr. Avenatti!”


“I’m off, everyone. Too bad you won’t get to see me on Sesame Street tomorrow!”

“Tonto, Cavendish, who is Michael Avenatti anyway?”

“Don’t you know, Ranger?”


 “He’s the Lone Lawyer, Masked Man!”

“Hi–ho Silver away!!!”

“But, Kemosabe, he never alone for very long.”


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