© Melanie Greenwood
FF-Friday Fictioneers
Never fails, I thought in disgust.Here I am in the middle seat again, sandwiched between the two finalists for the starring role in "Chris Christie; the Early Years" and one row ahead is a really hot blond sitting all by herself.
Come on, Perry, show some guts! "If not now, when? If not me, who?" I think it was the Biblical sage Rabbi Hillel who uttered those words, and I believe he was considered quite the babe magnet back in the day.
"Stewardess, I'd like to move to the center seat in the next row."
"I'm sorry, sir, but they're shooting a reality show and that seat is reserved for a hot young guy.'
"Yeah but ...."
"Clearly you'd ruin the show. But as consolation ..."
Yes?
"Here's an extra bag of salted nuts."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Having taken the last two weeks off from the Friday Fictioneers, it's good to be back as I know you've all missed me.
Umm ... it's Perry. Perry Block, that is. From Philadelphia. Personal friend of Russell Gayer? It's Perry! Perry Block!!
Well anyway, this is my personal take on the picture prompt above, and if you click here you can read the stories of the other Friday Fictioneers, one or two of whom might own up to knowing me.
See you next week.
Perry! Perry Damn Block!!!
Well, Ollie - I mean Perry, you did it again.
ReplyDeleteIt was Rabbi Gamliel who responded to Rabbi Hillel by stating the answers to your questions are as follows:
You wife just called and said, "It's now or never. You should come home."
Nothing wrong with salted peanuts as long as they're not soggy and there's maybe a cream soda to wash them down. Go home.
Randy
I think Rabbi Gamliel and Rabbi Hillel didn't know enough about Reform Judaism. My Rabbi is out drinking on Friday Night, but God is buying the drinks. I'm afraid my nuts are rather soggy and they haven't been washed down in quite a while but I'll keep trying.
DeleteHell, Perry, I thought you'd died! Don't do that again. Back with all your charm though... and a bag of nuts. Is there no talent to your ends...
ReplyDeleteHa! I almost choked to death laughing at the last sentence in your comment, Sandra.
DeleteI know Perry's too modest to share it with the rest of the crew, but he's been on stage the for last two weeks. It was 2 horse coach moving slowly across the Arizona desert in search of a funny joke. Unfortunately, all he got for his trouble was a few cactus spines in his backside.
I would agree. No talent to my ends, beginnings, and middles.
DeleteBut wait till you hear the funny jokes about cactus I've got coming.
DeleteAh.. but a bag of nuts is not so bad... Hot blonds usually burn your skin.
ReplyDeleteI don't know. I already got the bag of nuts, now I wouldn't mind the hot blond.
DeleteOh! A bag of salted nuts as consolation! What a blow. Maybe they're REALLY good nuts.
ReplyDeleteThey couldn't be good enough nuts unless the blond is feeding them to me.
DeleteIt's best to stay away from reality shows, Perry. You never know where they're headed. Being with a hot, young blond is liable to ruin your boyish charm. Welcome back. For better or worse (just kidding) it wasn't the same without you. Now eat the peanuts and enjoy your flight. :D --- Suzanne
ReplyDeleteThanks, Suzanne, but I was looking forward to enjoying a flight that had nothing to do with peanuts. And I will risk losing my "boyish charm" for the woman on the plane any day, especially since I lost it somewhere in the 90's.
Deleteha ha. The "Chris Christie..finalists" was too good a joke and clever.
ReplyDeleteThanks. I think Chris Christie is overused, especially since he's lost weight, but I couldn't think of another acceptable fatty.
DeleteGood morning, Perry Damn Block and Happy New Year! I did miss you. I took the time off, too. Did you miss me? haha Oh, I'm not sure this wouldn't happen quite this way, Perry. I don't believe they would give extra nuts to anyone. They must have felt really bad.
ReplyDeleteDidn't know you were off since I was too and I barely read the label on a bottle of ketchup let alone FF contributions. I was glad to get the extra nuts, though, hopefully I'll need them some day.
DeleteThis was very funny, and I do remember you, Jerry.
ReplyDeleteYou're right, I'm Jerry Lewis! OHHH, LADEEESSSSS!
DeleteI hope he doesn't lose his confidence after that experience. Next flight he might just score a better seat. Funny story.
ReplyDeleteYep, next flight he'll probably sit next to Michael Moore and Rush Limbaugh, fatties both, and get to hear them yell at each other all the way to Singapore.
DeleteI was on that flight and heard that entire conversation. And, by the way, that hot guy they put next to me was b.o.r.i.n.g. You should have hit him in the head with your bag of nuts, pushed him out of the seat and taken his place. It would have made for much better TV. ;)
ReplyDeleteMuch better TV, how about much better Perry and Lorna Earl?!!
DeleteReminds me of why I have a fear of flying, but the nuts sound good. ;)
ReplyDeleteI don't know, since then I've had fear of nuts.
DeleteDear Perry,
ReplyDeleteBetter luck next time. Perhaps you'll get three bags of peanuts.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Oh well, three bags would have made it all right!
Delete